Having already conquered autism with denial and several subscriptions to mommy blogs, Jenny McCarthy is now the leading authority on homosexuality. So men, if you're on the fence about your sexuality, let Jenny McCarthy give you her number. If you don't call her back immediately, you're obviously a huge fag who can't get enough of the D. E! Online reports:
Jenny McCarthy had her doubts about Donnie Wahlberg before they began dating in July. During a radio interview with Scott and Todd from New York's 95.5 PLJ, the new View co-host said it took a while for the Blue Bloods star to ask her out, making her question Wahlberg's sexual orientation. The couple first met in March on the set of McCarthy's Vh1 talk show. "I went a year without dating anybody," the buxom blonde recalled. "So I don't know if I was really randy or really ready, but he was there and I gave him my phone number." She added, "I've never given a guy my number, but I was interested." McCarthy, 40, was dumbfounded when she didn't immediately hear from Wahlberg. "'It took two weeks for him to call me back, and I thought for sure he was playing for a different team, if you know what I'm saying," she said. "That's of course my ego, a girl's ego: ‘He must be married, he's gay, what's wrong?'"
Women are raised to believe that their vaginas are a magical world of wonder that you should worship if you ever want to enter, but since there's about 3.5 billion of them in the world, us men have a few more options than just yours. However, most men don't have the privilege of wading through the still wet sea of New Kids On The Block pussy like Donnie Wahlberg. So yeah, if a guy doesn't call you back, he's totally gay. Or has autism. Either of those two. I mean, because there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're a perfect princess.
I don't have access to the Ashley Greenetopless bikini pics. What a dark day in our nation's history. So here's Autism Scientist and new The View co-host, Jenny McCarthy, at something called the US Weekly Most Stylish New Yorkers Party. And since blondes with huge boobs are always in fashion, she was let inside the party. I wonder if two dudes standing next to each other asked her to come take down their twin towers. Hahaha oh yeaaahh, son! Nailed it!
Now that her career as an Autism Scientist is over, Jenny McCarthy is using her own marketable talent to whore for Carl's Jr. and their salads. This is perfect casting, because when I think of ranberry apple walnut grilled chicken salads, I think about a single 40-year old chick with implants making lunch before she goes to a bar for College Night.
Halloween and Jenny McCarthy‘s birthday are on consecutive days, and when she celebrates those is Vegas, it creates the perfect slutty costume storm where we all get to see the true power of her huge rack. If she wore this while talking to me about autism being a government conspiracy, there’s a good chance I’d say, “You know, I never really thought about that before. You make some really valid points. Tell me more.”
Jenny McCarthy was in the Grove yesterday, and good tip if you want to convince people that you’re a scientist who has cracked the code of Autism through a massive government conspiracy, have huge tits and bend over a lot. Hear her out, she makes a lot of good points. If you compare the instances of vaccinations to the increased instances of au–LOOK AWAY, TODD! LOOK AWAY!!!
Jenny McCarthy was in NYC yesterday promote her new book “Bad Habits: Confessions Of A Recovering Catholic”, and as you look at these pictures, please understand that this is the woman who believed she’s cured Autism. Look, I don’t care how big your boobs are, there’s a limit to the things I’ll believe even if you show them to me.
I realize it’s not 1996 and if you saw Jenny McCarthy on the street you’d probably think it was Jenny McCarthy’s mom and she’s apparently found the cure for Austism by looking online, but she still has huge boobs. And huge boobs is something this site prides itself on. So glad we had this talk.
Jenny McCarthy was in Miami Beach this weekend and while she was there she tweeted constantly about how the paparazzi were hounding her and not letting her relax. Which, of course, means she loved the attention and wanted everyone to know that people still give a shit about her. When she’s not killing children with her reactionary, completely insane ramblings about Autism sheHOLY SHIT LOOK AT HER TITS! Sorry. I got sidetracked for a second there.
After dating for almost five years, Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy broke up in April. And even though she’s a lunatic whose medical advice causes children to die of measles, to reiterate, she’s Jenny McCarthy. It wasn’t going to take long before her needs would be filled horizontally by somebody else. And that somebody else is 35-year-old “Las Vegas hunk” Jason Toohey. Long story short, Jim carrey might kill himself.
…pals fear the funnyman’s downward spiral may prompt a return of the condition that once forced him into treatment for mental health problems. “Jim isn’t himself these days – and he hasn’t been ever since he and Jenny split,” a close friend told The ENQUIRER. “But finding out she has already moved in with a guy has just sent him reeling.”…A devastated Jim has been acting strangely, say sources — and he has posted weird messages on Twitter recently. Not long after splitting with Jenny, he Tweeted the word “boing” 40 times. Then he attacked Tiger Woods’ wife in another post, claiming she must have known about her husband’s affairs. “That was the manic Jim acting out,” says the friend. “He isn’t happy.”
Obama doesn’t need to step in for factories to make more vagina, so I’m not really sure what his problem is right now. Snap out of it, dude. You’re Jim Carrey. You could turn over a casket then set it on fire, and still fuck every chick at a funeral.