The Kentucky Derby Was Unimpressive

The Kentucky Derby is a horse race and an excuse for non-British rich people and D-listers to wear weird hats. Seriously, when Sarah Jessica Parker doesn’t show and your most famous names are some guy who upgraded from a fat chick, a confused Bride of Chucky star searching for Colonel Sanders, and a reality divorcee whose vagina probably looks like a blown tire at a monster truck rally, it’s time to give up.

Marisa Miller was also at the Barnstable preparty:

All images via WENN.

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Jennifer Tillink

Patrick Swayze is a miracle [Dlisted]
Fergie is sporting some “Mom Shorts” [Hollywood Tuna]
Avril Lavigne thinks You Tube owes her money [Just Jared]
Ashton Kutcher doesn’t really care [Hollywood Rag]
Rachel Bilson has groovy curves [Popoholic]
Nicole Kidman is already skinny again [Popsugar]
Audrina Patridge in her ugly dress (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Carrot Top’s face is a freak show [City Rag]
Nicole Vaidisova has a cameltoe (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Let’s Put a Smile on That Face Box Office Round-Up [Pajiba]
Ashley Dupre is still trying to be famous [Egotastic]
George Clooney wants his martini [ASL]
Halle Berry has a ‘me day’ [Lainey Gossip]

Jennifer Tilly at the Wasted Space Rock club opening this weekend:

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Jennifer Tilly is Still Hot

This site is filled with used up skanks who are 21 and look 40 like the Hooter’s near my house, so as you look at these pictures of Jennifer Tilly at the premiere of Deal in Las Vegas last night, please keep in mind that by the second week of the 2008 NFL season, Jennifer Tilly will be 50. Fucking 50 years old. She’s old enough to have played tag with my mom, but I would jump over five cloned, naked Lindsay Lohan’s to run up in that. And by “run up in that” I mean “have sex with her.” My apologies, my cutting edge street slang tends to make some people uncomfortable.

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