Julia Stiles Says She Didn’t Split Up Dexter’s Marriage

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Earlier this week it was announced that Jennifer Carpenter had filed for divorce from her husband and castmate from the brilliant Dexter, Michael C. Hall. Immediately, rumors that Julia Stiles was to blame. You know, because they fucked on the show. Makes sense. People reports:

I have absolutely nothing to do with the split between Michael and Jennifer,” the actress, 29, says in a statement. “We are good friends and enjoyed working together. This is a personal matter between them, and we should respect their privacy.” Adds Stiles, “Although I too prefer to keep my private life, private – I felt compelled to dispel the rumors I was somehow the cause for this matter.”

Michael C. Hall certainly appears to have a type. Bony white chicks who look like they’ve had a mastectomy and their top lips donated to science. Are we sure this guy is from Raleigh? That can’t be right.

Hey, I have the same henley! That’s the point of this video, right?

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Deb Has Filed For Divorce

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Jennifer Carpenter, who plays Michael C. Hall‘s sister Deb on Dexter, has filed for divorce after two years of marriage. Wait, she knows Julia Stiles was just pretending to have sex with Dexter, right? TMZ reports:

They play brother and sister on television and got married in real life — but now Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter have new roles … they’re gonna be exes, and TMZ has learned Jennifer is pulling the plug on the marriage. Sources tell TMZ Jennifer will file divorce papers this week, possibly tomorrow. Hall and Carpenter have been separated for “some time.” The split was first reported by “Access Hollywood.”

Yikes. Michael C. Hall survived cancer only to live to get a divorce. I can totally relate. One time I sat through an entire commercial break only to watch the Panthers lose a timeout because they challenged a call. Jesus, John Fox, can’t you do anything right? If Brandon LaFell lands on top of the Gatorade cooler, there’s a pretty good chance he might be out of bounds.

“I mean are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire?” God, I love Deb:

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Dexter’s Wife is Hot

If you haven’t bought Jennifer Carpenter anything for a wedding present yet, you might want to think about deodorant. I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that it hasn’t been marked off her bridal registry.

Dexter is one of the best things on television right now, but they play brother and sister on the show. C’mon, man:

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