While I was looking for shit to post today, Getty Images told me that “Jen Selter celebrates her Birthday at 1Oak Southampton on August 1, 2015”. I was going to post those, but Jen Selter was wearing a dress and facing the camera in a brightly lit room, so she looked like my lesbian aunt, Bonnie. When you have a face like Jen Selter, you honestly have no other recourse but to do 200 sets of squats and lunges seven days a week then post pictures of your progress at low angles in dim lighting while wearing sunglasses that cover most of your face. So I’m posting those pictures instead. I realize it’s her birthday, but why can’t we all get a gift?