James Bond Might Be Bisexual In Skyfall

In the upcoming James Bond installment Skyfall, the villain Silva (Javier Bardem) fondles Bond in which Bond replies, “”What makes you think this is my first time?”. Sounds pretty gay. But in an interview with Moveline, Daniel Craig and Javier Bardem explain why this wasn’t gay as much as a scare tactic. I can see that.

“What are you going to do?” Craig replied breezily, getting a nice laugh from the crowd, but then he added: “I don’t see the world in sexual divisions.” He then changed the subject from Bond to to Bardem’s wonderfully flamboyant character, Silva. “Someone suggested that Silva may be gay,” Craig said with a big smile. “And I’m like, I think he’ll f*** anything.” As Bond producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson sat silently onstage with Craig, the actor, natty in a form-hugging suit and skinny tie, then downplayed the scene as “a great flirt. It’s a game of cards,” adding: “It the right thing to say, and that way that Javier plays it is so great. He plays it for real, and he plays it to the limit. He never forgets that he’s playing a Bond villain.” Finally, Craig offered his final assessment: “I love that scene,” he said “It makes me laugh. I hope it makes you laugh.” Earlier in the day, Bardem dropped some hints about his character that may shed a little more light on the scene. Asked how Silva’s “sexuality informed [Bardem’s] interpretation of the character, the actor responded; “It was part of the game, but it’s not entirely the game.” Bardem explained that his “main goal” as Silva was creating “uncomfortable situations” for anyone who crossed his path. “Within that, you can read anything that you want or wish,” Bardem said. “But it was more about putting the other person in a very uncomfortable situation where even James Bond doesn’t know how to get out of it.”

I once flirted with a dude to get Radiohead tickets and that made him uncomfortable, so I guess I can understand. Actually I can’t. I looked pretty hot in that peacoat, what was that dude’s problem? He knows he wanted it.

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Penelope Cruz And Javier Bardem Had A Kid

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And I shall call him Jorge Villalobos Cruz-Bardem. Us Magazine (via Hola) reports:

Congratulations are in order for Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz, who welcomed their first child — a boy! — together on Tuesday. According to Spanish newspaper El Pais, the infant was born at Cedars Sinai Hospital in L.A.; Spanish magazine Hola broke news of the baby’s gender. Hola also reports that members of the couple’s family flew in from Spain for the birth: Cruz’s mother, brother and sister, plus Bardem’s mother.

Wow. I didn’t even know Penelope Cruz was pregnant. But I guess I should have assumed. Because you can’t outfuck Mexicans. You just can’t. If they had a Mexican Teen Mom, their audition lines would look like American Idol.

Note: Yes, I am fully aware that they are Spanish. And yes, I am fully aware that I said they are Mexican. But please keep in mind that I don’t care. Thanks!

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Penelope Cruz Got Married

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I wish this post had a vuvuzela button. People reports:

Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem have always kept their romance under the radar – and their intimate wedding was equally low-profile. Cruz, 36, and Javier Bardem, 41, exchanged vows in front of family members during a small, private ceremony held at a friend’s home in the Bahamas earlier this month, her rep confirms to PEOPLE. The bride wore a gown designed by designer John Galliano, a longtime friend of the actress.

The article goes on to call the couple “Spanish lovebirds” (which sounds like a sex act you do on a dare), but there’s a long standing rumor that Penelope Cruz is a lesbian. So that would make Javier Bardem her beard. Not that I care, because Javier Bardem kicked ass in Collateral and No Country for Old Men . Also, I would very much appreciate it if Penelope Cruz let me titty fuck her. I also would like to know more about the sphinx. It’s a lion with a human head. What’s up with that?

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The Oscars Were Last Night

The biggest excuse for Hollywood to suck itself off celebrated its 80th anniversary last night, and with the exception of Tilda Swinton, the winners went pretty much as expected. And as usual, they were mostly wrong. There Will Be Blood got robbed and if I was a 15 year old girl, I’d feel pretty good about my chances at winning a screenwriting Oscar next year. “That ain’t no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can’t be un-did, Homeskillet.” Really? That’s a line from an Oscar-winning screenplay? If I heard someone talk like that in real life, my only recourse would be an uppercut. And they would deserve it.

Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, Juno
Best Adapted Screenplay: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men
Best Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton
Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men
Best Actress in a Leading Role: Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose
Best Actor in a Leading Role: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Best Director: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men

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