Olivia Cockburn Had A Boy And Named Him Otis Sudeikis
Olivia Cockburn Had A Boy And Named Him Otis Sudeikis

 

Olivia Wilde had her kid last night, a boy named "Otis Sudeikis". To recap, Olivia Wilde has a son named Otis Sudeikis. Can't wait until he opens his gyro/auto body repair shop.

 

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Olivia Wilde Had To Make The First Move On Jason Sudeikis

In the October 2013 issue of Allure, Olivia Wilde said some words, but what we're going to focus on here is the unlimted options available to single men in New York City and Hollywood.

"I met Jason, and I thought he was so charming. He's a great dancer and I'm a sucker for great dancers. But he didn't even get my number. Over the next six months we kept running into each other. [One night], my best guy friend walked up to him and said, 'This is Olivia's number. Use it.' That was the beginning," she says.

As you read this, please keep in mind that Olivia Wilde was married at 18 in the back of an abandoned school bus and stayed married until 2011. He real last name is "Cockburn", so you know this could have only ended up one way. As 1 Peter 5:8 says, her vagina was roaming the Earth like a roaring lion seeking to devour the D. I would quote the Book of Jason, but it's mostly about unlimited blowjobs and anal.

 

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Olivia Wilde And Jason Sudeikis Went To Disneyland




Olivia Wilde already said publicly that she and Jason Sudeikis have sex like “marathin runners”, and even though I’m not sure what that means exactly, they do seemingly go to Disneyland like hipsters and rid children’s rides to be ironic. Also, Olivia Wilde has a gigantic forehead. I don’t know. Just felt the need to point that out.

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Olivia Wilde Is Engaged To Jason Sudeikis



When she was 19, Olivia Wilde married an Italian prince in 2003. They were divorced in September 2011. She started dating Jason Sudeikis in November 2011. They are now engaged. Olivia Wilde is like a Taylor Swift who can close. People reports:

Saturday Night Live funnyman Jason Sudeikis is definitely serious about his relationship with actress Olivia Wilde. The actor proposed to Wilde shortly after the holidays, PEOPLE has learned exclusively. “They are so excited,” says a source close to both. “And very, very happy.” Sudeikis, 37, and Wilde, 28, who has said she fell “blissfully, hopelessly, wildly in love” with the actor, began dating in November of 2011 and moved in together last year.

I really have nothing bad to say about either of them, so I guess I’ll just say congratulations. It’s always nice when someone is married for eight years then gets divorced and immediately marries somebody else. I don’t see any issues there.

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Olivia Wilde And Jason Sudeikis Have Sex Like “Kenyan Marathon Runners”



ATTN LADIES: Please read this. Good god, I love this woman. Us Magazine reports:

“I felt like my vagina died,” she shared (via Vulture) of her sex life with the filmmaker and Italian prince, 36. “Turned off. Lights out . . . you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina.”…Explaining that she is currently “blissfully, hopefully, wildly in love,” the actress boasted that she and the Saturday Night Live standout “have sex like Kenyan marathon runners.”…“Sometimes your vagina dies,” she explained. “Then you know it’s time to go. There’s no reason to sacrifice your womanhood and femininity for some sort of weird feeling of responsibility to something that may not be right. I feel like far too many women do that.” Added Wilde, “[Men] are not allowed to be the only ones thinking with their genitals.”

All of this is pretty funny of course since Olivia got married at 18 and only got divorced last year. All Jason Sudeikis has to do is be able to find her clit and know more that two sex positions she would have agreed to fly this blockquote on one of those airplane banner things.

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Jason Sudeikis Is A Mystical Warlock

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Jason Sudeikis is on SNL and has appeared in such horrific movies as Hall Pass and Horrible Bosses. His last name is also “Sudeikis”. Now that you’ve read that, please know that he is now banging Olivia Wilde. You know, after he was the first person to believed to be the father of January Jones‘ baby because he was banging her, too. DEAR GOD, MAN. Us Magazine reports:

A source tells the new Us Weekly — on stands Friday — that Wilde, 27, and Sudeikis, 36, haven’t been shy about their new romance. The SNL funnyman brought Wilde to the show’s afterparty at NYC’s Loi on Dec. 4. “They walked in holding hands,” says a source. “She’s come to the [SNL] studio at Rockefeller Center, and they’ve gone out to dinner after rehearsals,” adds an insider.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Bradley Cooper should be pulling this kind of ass, but since they’re gay, Sudeikis is repeatedly outkicking his coverage and banging every hot, available vagina in Hollywood. I can’t wait for his autobiography where he talks about the time he buried those Swedish models in Vegas while titty fucking Kate Upton.

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