Bobby Flay Was Banging January Jones Pretty Much Daily

Hey, remember in 2010 when January Jones got drunk at a London Hotel and drove her car into three parked cars then called Bobby Flay because AAA services don’t include penis? Flay told the media that they had just met that night, but his wife says nah son. Nah.

Bobby Flay’s estranged wife Stephanie March has accused him of cheating on her with January Jones in divorce documents, according to a shock new report in In Touch Weekly. Stephanie allegedly accuses the famous chef of having three affairs during their 10-year marriage, one of which was with the Mad Men star, the magazine claims. In Touch’s source alleges: ‘Stephanie is claiming in court papers that Bobby committed adultery with January several times during the early months of 2010. ‘She says they had sex many times and in different places, including the London hotel in Los Angeles.’ In June 2010, TMZ claimed that Bobby showed up to the scene after 37-year-old January crashed her car. At the time, the 50-year-old said they had watched a basketball game together at the London hotel the previous evening and that the actress has asked for his number because she wanted his advice on redoing her kitchen.

In Bobby Flay’s defense, married or not, like who wouldn’t want to bang Betty Draper many times and in different places. I assume one of those places included the butt. January Jones is an okay actress and all, but she really needs to get a Side Piece Lifetime Achievement Award, because as you might recall, nobody knows who her baby daddy is. Mostly because she got knocked up on the set of X-Men: First Class, and the single and gay dudes in that movie weren’t the father.  I don’t even think the kid knows who his father is. He just has a lot of uncles that come around and play checkers with mommy in her bedroom.

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January Jones Deleted This #TBT Pic Because It’s ‘Racist’
January Jones Deleted This #TBT Pic Because It’s ‘Racist’

 

"Where da white women at?"

 

I guess when you post your first paid modeling gig and its you in a sweater posing with two guys who haven't got their 2014 Miami Heat NBA Champions t-shirts yet, people might think you're being racist. And those people are kinda dumb, because I'm not really sure what's racist about this picture. How about we focus on the real issues here and have a open dialogue about that sweater.

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January Jones Is Actually Holding Her Child

January Jones is an emotionless cyborg who is dead inside, but somehow her cold, lifeless uterus produced a child, Xander, from either the seed of married X-Men director, Matthew Vaughn, or Michael Fassbender. She still refuses to let anyone know who the father is, but up until know, the child probably thought his nanny was his mom. But I guess he's cool with January now, because like most men in Hollywood know, her boobs are easily accessible. That's always a plus.

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Liam Hemsworth Is Smooth With The Ladies

When you're engaged to Miley Cyrus, at some point you realize you've made a horrific mistake and are left with no choice put to cheat. So of course Liam Hemsworth has been banging January Jones (how you doin'?) because she is an ice queen with no soul who has babies with married men. And apparently it doesn't take much for her to wring her panties out. Us Weekly reports:

"January thinks Liam is so sexy," a pal told Us of Jones, 35, a single mom to son Xander, 2. And the feeling is clearly mutual: Earlier this summer, the clean-cut Paranoia star sent Jones a graphic, sexual text message. "I want to [expletive] you," it read, in part.

Oh, I see how it is. I tell Ashley Greene the same thing and lawyers get involved. She's probably racist.

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January Jones Is A Sheer Delight

There has never been nor will there ever be a more perfect casting choice than January Jones as Betty Draper on Mad Men, mostly because sex with her would be like Leo's drowning scene in Titanic when his life and soul slowly slips away into the icy, deep blackness. But good laawwwd she's hot. That's why she was interviewed by The New York Times and wore her cold, dead heart on her sleeveless shirt.

January Jones is a tough nut to crack. When The New York Times asked the Mad Men star to reveal who fathered her 20-month-old son Xander, the 35-year-old actress refused to answer. "That's my son's business," Jones explained in a May 19 interview. "It's not the public's business."

In regards to eating her placenta after Xander's September 2011 birth, Jones told The New York Times, "It was like taking a vitamin blended into a smoothie. I'm a mammal. I nursed. I did all kinds of weird stuff."

If you want to read a hilarious recap of the full interview, Fish over at The Superficial has already beat me to it. Like he does to new issues of comic books and Blake Lively fan porn art. He really nails it, even when you consider the fact that January Jones could have just answered every question with "BITCHES BE CRAAAYY!" and the interview would have basically read the same.

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January Jones Remains An Ice Queen, Links

Olivia Culpo Braless in See Through Dress (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
It’s The Charles Ramsey Autotune [The Superficial]
Kelly Brook Busts Out Her Casual Uber Hotness [Popoholic]
Kelly Brook Looks Amazing In FHM [Hollywood Tuna]
Macaulay Culkin And Pete Doherty Are Living Together In Paris [Dlisted]
OOPS! (NSFW video) [MyEx]
Todd's Dream Girl [UDrunkBro]
Farrah Abraham working the pole like a stripper (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Marchesa ruined Ashley Greene [Lainey Gossip]
Chris Brown confirms Rihanna split [Celebitchy]
Blake Lively's Legs Are Works Of Art [Moe Jackson]
Help compile cinema’s greatest compliments [Film Drunk]
Justin Bieber doesn't play ping pong on normal tables [Celebslam]
LEGO recreation of Helms Deep [COED Magazine]
Shanna Moakler on Breastfeeding: ‘Incestuous and Gross’ [The Blemish]
Though Shape Magazine Previously Dissed Her, Britney’s Still Rocking Their Cover [Evil Beet Gossip]
Ender’s Game Trailer Hits the Interwebs [Crave Online]
Farrah Abraham beat Kim Kardashian in a porn battle [Popbytes]

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January Jones Banged Liam Hemsworth Last Weekend



Hey, remember when you couldn’t see a picture of Liam Hemsworth without seeing his arm around Miley Cyrus and then they got engaged and then she cut off all her hair and dyed in blonde then tried to become a lesbian Billy Idol then you really didn’t see those pictures anymore? Ok, good. Radar Online reports:

Looks like there may be trouble in paradise for Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth! The Australian actor, who got engaged to the Can’t Be Tamed singer in June 2012, cheated on his famous fiancee by getting hot and heavy with Mad Men star January Jones at a pre-Oscar party over the weekend, the new issue of Star is exclusively reporting. Liam, who showed up at the swanky soiree at the famed Chateau Marmont hotel without his bride-to-be, had guests aghast as he cozied up to the scandalous single mother, according to Star. “It looked like they had some hot chemistry,” an eyewitness at the event tells Star. “They were all over each other – and they even kissed!”

January Jones is an ice queen who doesn’t care about your relationship when she decides to have sex with you, so this really shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. We still don’t know who her baby daddy is, but we do know it was probably her married director on X-Men: First Class, Matthew Vaughn. January and Liam probably had sex while watching Hannah Montana on Netflix.

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January Jones Might Be Bald Soon



January Jones is a raging ice queen who smiles only when forced, programmed, or when she sees a married director who can impregnate her. So it makes sense she is losing her hair. Most cold-blooded creatures have no hair. Us Magazine reports:

January Jones’ days as a hair chameleon may be over. Speaking to British magazine Grazia Daily during the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, the blonde-again actress talked about the side effects of her multiple hair makeovers while promoting the movie Sweetwater. “I have been every color and now my hair is falling out in clumps,” Jones said. “I’ve been blonde, red with extensions for this film, then blonde, then black, and now blonde again. I’m going to have to shave it off and wear a wig.”

This would be cool if it was her vagina, but a bald January Jones in a wig doesn’t sound very sexy to me. Actually, it kinda depends on the wig. Can I pick it out? I’d really like to pick it out.

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January Jones Might Have Been Hacked



In case you thought the phone hacks were over (they’re not, btw. The answer is they’re not), here’s an alleged pic of January Jones that she may/may not have taken of the set of X-Men: First Class. So, why do people think it’s her? Oh, this. I don’t know what this picture is supposed to do except convince a married man to leave his family for a chance to have unprotected sex with what he saw in this text. Well played, January. Well played.

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