Katie Holmes And Jamie Foxx Are Engaged
Katie Holmes And Jamie Foxx Are Engaged


Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx have been dating for almost three years now, but please remember that Tom Cruise is second in command of a cult who like to throw people off their “cruise” ships. Think about it. 

Hollywood actress Katie Holmes has showed off a diamond ring, sparking rumours that she is engaged to Jamie Foxx. The former wife of Tom Cruise, who was seen wearing the ring in Los Angeles on Tuesday, has been dating the 48-year-old film star in secret for two years, according to InTouch Weekly.  The pair want to get married in the near future, the celebrity news magazine reported. Holmes, who has a nine-year-old daughter with Cruise, has reportedly kept the relationship with Foxx secret because she fears how Cruise may react. The couple’s six-year marriage ended in 2012. “She’s terrified,” a source told InTouch. “She’s afraid that he’ll be angry that Suri will have a new father figure and come crashing back into her and Suri’s lives.”


Wow, fascinating. Whatever. This is Jamie Foxx’s daughter. 


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Jamie Foxx Told Some Bruce Jenner Jokes

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: Bruce Jenner is transitioning into a woman, because he identifies as a woman! LOL, I know right?! Apparently you can’t make jokes about that kind of stuff, because you might be transphobic and someone might kill themselves. Take it away, Jamie Foxx.

Some viewers of the iHeartRadio Music Awards on Sunday night took to social media to vent about the opening monologue, saying one controversial joke crossed the line. Musician and actor Jamie Foxx hosted the second annual awards show in Los Angeles. “We got some ground-breaking performances, here too, tonight,” Foxx said. “We got Bruce Jenner, who will be doing some musical performances. He’s doing a his-and-her duet all by himself.”

Christ. Look, I get transgendered people face a lot of discrimination. Welcome to the Earth. On Earth, people make jokes about you. It happens. Ignore them and move on. And let’s not pretend, this is some new thing that you all want to be mad about. Where was the outrage when Jenner get castrated halfway through Season 2?

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Katie Holmes Is Banging Jamie Foxx

Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx rumors have been going around for what seems like forever now, but nobody ever really paid much attention. But Katie has been looking really dark recently, so there might be some truth to this. See, because Jamie Foxx is black and his semen…look, I don’t need to explain science to you people.

In this week’s issue of PEOPLE, multiple sources confirm the pair have been spending time together for well over a year – but it’s nothing serious.  “This is not some intense romance,” a source with knowledge of the situation tells PEOPLE. “Jamie and Katie are friends and have been for a long time. They are two adults who are attractive and single, and so apparently conclusions will be drawn.”  Adds the source: “But contrary to those conclusions, they’re not about to run off and make some serious commitment.”

Wow. So to translate, Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx aren’t dating but are friends who occasionally bang like two consenting adults with no expectation of commitment. They should do a success story ad for Tinder.

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The Final ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2’ Trailer Is Here

 

People said the final trailer for Amazing Spider-Man 2 would give me chills, but I think it's all this green tea I've had this morning. Should my hand be shaking like this? Doesn't seem like it should. Anyway, here's the trailer. Not sure if it will give you chills or not, maybe, I really can't speak for you. It's just hard for me to get emotionally invested in a college bro wearing a leotard who think Emma Stone is attractive. Sources say this was going to be the in-flight movie for Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, but everybody onboard decided to take the easy way out.

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Jamie Foxx Is A Dick



Jamie Foxx is one of the most delusional and self-aggrandizing douchebags in Hollywood, and when he gets near a microphone there’s no telling what might happen. Oh, wait I know. The same thing that always happens. Page Six reports:
The actor, who recently ridiculed Miley Cyrus on his radio show, laid into Rihanna during a party at Tao in Las Vegas the other night. “Jamie took over the microphone and started doing a show. Halfway through, he asked Rihanna to join him onstage,” said our spy. She was there with Jay-Z and looked “annoyed” at the request, said our tipster. “Rihanna declined, but Foxx continued to badger her.” The deejay played “Umbrella” and “that was the last straw” for the Barbados-born beauty. “She got up to leave, and Jamie told the deejay to stop the record,” said our source. Foxx shouted, “You can’t go while your song is playing. Relax.” Our witness said, “Rihanna stayed and pretended to enjoy herself, but it was so obvious she was fuming. As soon as the song was over, she got the hell out of there.”

Rihanna probably flinches every time somebody screams her name now, so having Jamie Foxx not knowing when to stop probably didn’t help. Sorta like me on white girl ass.

This is pretty old, but just in case you forgot, here’s Jamie Foxx absolutely destroying comedian(?) Doug Williams at a roast for Emmitt Smith.:

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Jamie Foxx is Michael Jackson



Of course the BET Awards last night turned into a Michael Jackson circle jerk,so of course somebody at some point was gonna do the moonwalk. That somebody was Jamie Foxx. Which brings up the point, the moonwalk is just walking backwards right? And if it’s supposed to be an accurate representation of walking on the moon, then why are the laws of anti-gravity not being taken into account? How can this be an iconic dance when it’s whole foundation is built on half-truths and scientific falsities?! DO NOT BE FOOLED ANY LONGER!!! WAKE UP AMERICA!!!

I have no idea who any of those people in the audience are and I don’t look for pictures of Jamie Foxx, so here’s Nell McAndrew naked in Loaded Magazine. Yay racism! (a few might be NSFW):

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Jamie Foxx is Getting Sued



In a lawsuit filed yesterday in L.A. County Superior Court, William Presler claims he was severely injured at a 2007 party that was hosted by Foxx. The incident happened at Social in Hollywood where Presler was working the bar. The bar that was made completely out of ice. TMZ reports:
Presler claims drunk guests dropped their drinks around the bar and glass shattered everywhere. He claims he tried cleaning it up but was told to leave it be. Presler says the manager preferred kicking the glass along the side of the ice bar. At the end of the party, Presler says he slipped, fell and landed on the shattered glass, severely injuring himself. He needed 170 stitches to repair the damage to the severed nerves in his left hand. Presler says he obtained a neuroscience degree and was forced to abandoned his career to become a brain surgeon due to the damage in his left hand.

Jamie Foxx is a self-aggrandizing douchebag, but I’m not really sure what he has to do with this. I don’t know, maybe he did. Maybe he threw down a banana peel or hired Jerry’s cousin Muscles to push this dude down. Or I don’t know, maybe the guy should have realized he was walking on a fuckin sheet of ICE and shards of glass and been more careful. Like when I bury prostitutes.

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Jamie Foxx Kills Miley Cyrus



A long-winded intro will just get in the way, so here’s a clip of Jamie Foxx absolutely destroying Miley Cyrus on his Sirius Radio show. I don’t know if it’s illegal to tell a 16 year old girl to do heroin and make a sex tape or not, but somebody should probably let Jamie Foxx know if it is. Oh, and me, too. I mean, I sit in the high school parking lot everyday after school, but when the girls walk by they just run away! I’m beginning to think they just see me as more of a friend and want me to play tag. Everybody loves to play tag!!


UPDATE:
Foxx has now apologized. Kinda.

“I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don’t mean any of it,” he tried to explain to Jay. “And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far… There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean it maliciously.”

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Jamie Foxx is an Asshole



If you were a guest at the Four Seasons in L.A. last week, I hope you punched Jamie Foxx in face. Page Six reports:

During a publicity tour for “The Kingdom” at the Four Seasons in L.A., according to several junketeers, Foxx had his bodyguard commandeer the elevator. “He told guests of the hotel and journalists to leave the elevator,” our spy said. “Then, at every floor where the elevator stopped, the bodyguard would stand with his arm stretched out and say, ‘You can’t enter’ to anyone who tried to get on. A lot of us were like, ‘Who does Jamie think he is?’ “

Every story you hear about Jamie Foxx is the same, so I don’t feel for bad saying that Jamie Foxx can go fuck himself. Oooh, you played a blind guy addicted to herion?!? Well, why didn’t you say so? Right this way, your majesty!

Jamie Foxx on the set of The Kingdom:

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Jamie Foxx is Stupid



Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick accepted a plea deal from the federal government last week after he was indicted on charges related to funding an interstate dog fighting operation and viciously executing dogs when they became no longer able to fight. Jamie Foxx says Michael Vick was black, so he didn’t know it was wrong.

It’s a cultural thing, I think,” Jamie said. “Most brothers didn’t know that, you know. I used to see dogs fighting in the neighborhood all the time. I didn’t know that was Fed time. So, Mike probably just didn’t read his handbook on what not to do as a black star. I know that cruelty to animals is bad, but sometimes people shoot people and kill people and don’t get time,” Jamie continued. “I think in this situation, he really didn’t know the extent of it, so I always give him the benefit of the doubt.”

Jamie Foxx is one of the most delusional assholes in Hollywood, so it really doesn’t surprise me that he’d say some idiotic crap like this. Yeah, that’s what it was. Michael Vick didn’t know. He didn’t know it wasn’t cool to fight dogs to the death then electrocute them. He didn’t know that it might be considered illegal. Turns out the federal government does. That’s why I just stick with fighting squirrels. George Bush don’t care about squirrels.

Speaking of dogs, Jamie Foxx hit this (Eva Longoria in L.A. on August 22):

Source

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