Ireland Baldwin Is Single
Ireland Baldwin Is Single

 

Since she couldn't bring herself to write "Ireland Trout" at the DMV, Ireland Baldwin split from her boyfriend, Slater Trout. Read that name again. Damn, bro. Sources say Woody Allen got excited for a second then realized she was legal. Sad times.

 E! News has exclusively learned from the 18-year-old beauty herself that she is no longer in a relationship with her surfing beau. So what was the main cause for the breakup? "I am focusing on work and school now," she explained when asked how the big decision came about. The two began dating back in 2013 and had been very public about their affection for one another on their social media accounts in the past. Last May, the model gushed about Trout to People magazine, explaining, "I would say he is my best friend. We have our moments but that's rare. We can act stupid in public, private or wherever and we are always laughing."

I chose not to use her face as a banner pic, because sometimes she looks hot and sometimes she looks like she pees standing up when nobody is watching. So, here's a pic of her ass instead. Not much really going on there either. I really didn't have too many options as you can clearly see.

 

pic source = Asstagram

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Ireland Baldwin Gets It
Ireland Baldwin Gets It

 

Depending on the day, Ireland Baldwin looks hot or looks like she pees standing up, so it's good she recognized this and just straight up posted a pic of her ass on Instagram. Thank you, Alec Baldwin. That voicemail you left that one time is really starting to pay off.

 

pic source = Instagram

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Ireland Baldwin Won’t Be Long Now
Ireland Baldwin Won’t Be Long Now

 

Ireland Baldwin hasn't gotten as famous as she would like yet, so what better way than to pretend you're talking about makeup while posing topless on Instagram? Guess what will happen? I'll post it. This site is read by billions of people worldwide and has received many prestigious and sought after journalism awards, so this post I'm writing in my underwear will probably have her internationally more famous than Lebron James before the day is over. Maybe even less, because so many A-list celebrities and leading professionals in their field read this site daily. Last year, Robert Downey, Jr. was asked his thougts on the site and he replied, "I…don't…I don't…in that way…wait, could you repeat that? Is this like one of those Tumblr things or something?".

 

pic source = Instagram

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Ireland Baldwin Really Wants You To Buy Her Boyfriend’s T-Shirt
Ireland Baldwin Really Wants You To Buy Her Boyfriend’s T-Shirt

 

Besides having a stupid, douchey name, Ireland Baldwin's boyfriend, Slater Trout, is a surfer or something. And since he can't twerk in a bikini to sell his t-shirts, he has to get Ireland to put on the shirt and some panties to make you buy something that says, "Slater Trout Is My Homeboy" on it. There's no fine print, but I should let you know that if you buy the t-shirt, Ireland Baldwin in panties doesn't come included in the free shipping. I just want to make sure you know that after you buy this, you'll be walking around in a t-shirt that says, "Slater Trout Is My Homeboy" on it. I just really want to drive that point home to you.

 

Ireland Baldwin

 

 

pic source = Instagram

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Ireland Baldwin Says Her Dad Isn’t A Racist Homophobe

MSNBC decided to give Alec Baldwin his own talk show, Up Late With Alec Baldwin, but when you hire an unhinged maniac with severe anger issues, you might find yourself suspending the show because your host on your liberal network got caught on camera calling someone a "cocksucking fag". Then his daughter, Ireland Baldwin, who he called "a thougthless little pig" when she was 11, takes her undiagnosed Stockholm Syndrome to Twitter to defend her dad because the only reason he called a stranger a cocksucking fag was because of the children. E! Online reports:

"Sometimes we let our tempers get the best of us,"…"Tempers are like wildfires. Something or someone can easily fuel the fire…It takes a lot of strength for someone to release their anger...It takes a lot of strength and SUPPORT for someone to grow and become a better person. We all say things we don't mean. We all say things we can't take back….For someone who has battled with anger management issues, my dad has grown tremendously"…."My dad is far from a homophobe or a racist…From what you've read and from what media has been shoved down your throats, he has a kind heart," she continued on the social networking site….My point being, what my dad said was WRONG. What my dad felt WASN'T. My dad has an INFANT CHILD to protect. All the parents out there should understand. You would do anything to protect your baby…Now, let's all quit acting like children. Let my dad be and let him have his room to learn and enjoy his family."

So you want to "let's all stop acting like children"? You mean we should stop acting like your dad? I know you're 18, but adults have the ability to control their emotions. If your dad really wants to protect the INFANT CHILD, maybe he should teach her not to scream "cocksucking fag" when somebody just doing their job slightly inconveniences her in some way. I'm pretty sure the photographers weren't going to capture the baby's soul with their camera or kidnap it and sell it on the black market, so instead of blaming everybody else, how about tell your dad to chill the fuck out. I could be wrong, but I'm almost postive buildings in NYC have a back entrance,

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The 65th Emmy Awards Were Last Night

 

As my headline clearly points out, the 65th Emmys were last night. Here are some winners you may care about. And if you're don't punch your nearest coworker over the fact that Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul were robbed, I say unto you: Get away from me you workers of lawlessness. I never knew you.

 

OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES
Breaking Bad, AMC

OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES
Modern Family, ABC

LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Claire Danes, Homeland, Showtime

LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom, HBO

LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep, HBO

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Bobby Cannavale, Boardwalk Empire, HBO

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad, AMC

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Tony Hale, Veep, HBO

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie, Showtime

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Ireland Baldwin Is Really Bored

 

When a chick is hot, there's a level of crazy that you put up with, because hot girls are either insane or feel they have to be goofy nerds to be relatable to other people. That being said, here's Ireland Baldwin on Vine doing…..whatever the hell this is. Keep in mind she's 6'2", blonde, and models bikinis, so the dude recording this laughs nervously in hopes that his feigned acceptance will get him a blowjob later. Because crazy chicks are the best at giving blowjobs. I hope that clears everything up.

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Ireland Baldwin Is Great On Vine

 



 

Alec Baldwin's daughter, Ireland Baldwin, is a model now, so that means being in bikinis a lot and pretending to act like a goofy nerd so people willsay she's hot without her having to ask for compliments. So here she is on Vine twerking in a bikni and shaking her ass. She's tall and blonde, and really seems to know how to work her hips, so…what? She's 17? She is? You mean this chick is 17? Man, I didn't even write this post anyway. Who is "Todd"? He doesn't even work here anymore. This is a wholesome family site.

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Ireland Baldwin Is Getting The Hang Of Twitter



Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger are both crazy, but when they have unprotected sex and Kim doesn’t have an abortion, this happens sixteen years later on Twitter.

I stoleeeee your snapback HA #minenow #lamemirrorpic #bahaha

Like most teenage white girls, Ireland Baldwin took a random premise and added a bunch of stupid hashtags to attempt to hide the fact that she’s just posting a pic of herself in a bikini to get compliments. Keep up the good work, Alec.

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