Who Wants To Win $200
Who Wants To Win $200

 

Sup? So,  the powers that me asked me, well, told me to put up this survey for you guys to fill out, because we care about you and want to give one of you lucky people some cash. It’s $200, so you can get like 100 PBR’s or a jar of almond butter at Whole Foods. The choice is really up to you, because it’ll be your money! Go wild with it! The survey is basically about what events you like to attend and if you look at crap about them online. Also, $200. I don’t think that can be overstated.

So, go HERE to fill that bad boy out, and then however these things work will decide who gets $200. It’s won’t be me. I’m not really that good with computers and math and stuff.

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Hey Guys
Hey Guys

 

So, I'll keep this short. Tomorrow is my birthday, and since technology has advanced to the point where I can schedule posts to be published later, posts will be coming into your lives while I'm on a plane to Atlanta. This makes my 8th birthday here at the site, and I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone at Evolve Media for allowing me to continue here as long as I have. This site has allowed me to meet some amazing people who I would have never had the chance to meet otherwise and they have become some of the most important people in my life. But most importantly, I'd like to thank all of you who condescend to take time out of your day to read the incoherent and grammatically incorrect ramblings of a dude in North Carolina in pajama pants. I truly do love each and every one of you, and trust me, loving someone you've never met isn't as hard as it seems. Especially you. You with the ass. Stop crying. And you, you with the yacht. So if you're bored and feel like celebrating with me, feel free to follow me here and here. Just don't actually follow me around. Dude. That's just weird. But in all seriousness, thanks for reading all these years and hopefully we'll all stick around for a few more. Your brother in Christ, Todd. (Sorry, had to close with a joke. Bad habit.)

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We’ve Gone Mobile
We’ve Gone Mobile

 

Hey, so are you tired of needing mutant eyes or glasses from the future to read this site on your phone? You are? Yeah, me too. Nice we could bond like that. So, I'm pretty excited to announce that IDLYITW now has a mobile version that went live yesterday. I'd like to give a special thanks to Katie who finally got this done after I whined about it for almost three years. Katie also dated Ryan Gosling once and saved a puppy from an alligator one time. No, three alligators. So she's pretty badass all around. Anyway, we're not trying to healthcare.gov this thing, so if you see anything you don't like, or we could make better (if you say anything about the galleries, I'll cut you) leave it in the comments, and I'll let Katie know. Sorry, Katie. That build up wasn't for nothing. Happy reading on your phone, everyone. Try not to walk into anything. Oh, and if you have an Android. Shut up. Nobody wants to hear it. Sorry your phone sounds like a robot.

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IDLYITW SITE NEWS



Hey. Sup? Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is, I probably won’t be posting tomorrow. Wait, maybe that’s good news to some of you. Probably. Anyway, let’s just assume that’s bad news. The good news is I probably won’t be posting tomorrow because the site has finally received a full redesign and has moved to a new platform. That will launch tomorrow. A lot of people who are way smarter than me say they don’t want me in here dicking up anything tomorrow while the changes are being made as the site goes live, so depending on when they finish, they’ll be no new posts tomorrow. But when I start posting, you’ll have all new galleries, a way better looking site, you’ll be able to post comments via Facebook or register with the site (no more anonymous comments), and the site will overall just be a better, user-friendly experience. Unfortunately, it won’t automatically fix my spelling and grammatical errors. It’s 2013, what’s up with that? Anyway, I’ve seen the new site, and I have to say it’s fucking awesome. We hope you guys like it, and if all goes horribly wrong, I’ll see you Thursday. Thanks for reading, and personally speaking, I love every one of you assholes.

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Happy Good Friday, Bro



Since somebody thought it would be a good idea to make a holiday commemorating the torture and death of Jesus and the original Newton, The Passover, we’re taking a half day here today. Like we always do on holidays. Damn, is there any holiday that doesn’t involve somebody dying or breaking into your house? What’s up, God? You okay? You need to go talk with someone? Maybe get a hug?

Note: See ya Monday. Remember to hide some painted eggs and give chocolate bunnies to little kids to remember Jesus’ sacrifice. Makes sense if you try not to think about it.

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Happy Thanksgiving!



Like a legitimate rape, we’re shutting this whole thing down until Monday. Most of you are probably on a plane and/or drunk by now anyway, so have fun, be safe, and try not to kill a family member. If you do, cut off their hands and remove their teeth then burn them with the oil from the deep fryer. Then move to Mexico. They have Internet there, so we can pick all this back up on Monday.

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IDLYITW News: Who Wants To Be An Intern?



What, with all my time taken up by hard-hitting investigative journalism and looking at pictures of boobs, there isn’t enough time in the day for me to give our audience everything it needs. What? No, not that. Who am I, your mother? Anyway, if you would like to contribute to the site by doing links posts, writing on the weekends, and dealing with me every day, please submit your reasons why I should hire you for this non-paying and thankless job. I look forward to your submissions and the best one will be posted on the site and get the job. Obviously. Duh.

To apply, send us an email by March 16th to editor@idontlikeyouinthatway.com with the subject, “IDLYITW Intern Position” or “Face Down, Ass Up”. They mean the same thing. Haha, jk! “IDLYITW Intern Position” will be fine because there is no room for sexual harassment in the workplace. Remember that, kids.

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Happy New Year!



Well, another year has come to an end, and to be honest, I can’t believe I will have been here six years next month. Fuck. Six years. What have I done with my life?! But most importantly, I think we’re mostly shocked that Lindsay Lohan isn’t dead yet. That seems like it should have happened by now, right? It does, doesn’t it? Anyway, while she will continue to taunt me in 2012, I’d like to take this time to thank everyone of you who condescends to read this site everyday. Jess and I really do appreciate it, because we know there are a billion other sites out there that have fully grasped that whole grammar and punctuation thing. Also, Jess says if we reach 10,000 fans on Facebook she’ll have sex with me then bake me something. So, let’s ring in the New Year by making that happen. In a more realistic scenario, you guys be safe tonight because we love each and everyone of you. We’re basically like a big misfit fam…what? No not like that. What would make you think we loved you like that? Jesus, dude why do you have to be such a homo all the time? It’s exhausting.

Note: Our annual “Hottest Chick” and “Best Posts” of the year will be up on Tuesday. We’re taking votes here, so if you’re not sloppy drunk and embarrassing your family and all those around you, feel free to give us a suggestion or just email it to editor@idontlikeyouinthatway.com.

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Happy Turkey Holocaust Day, Everyone!



I realize black people complain a lot about slavery and all that working for free stuff, but keep in mind, they got a free cruise to America. But what did my people get? Some blankets? What’s up with that? I dare you to go on Amazon right now and compare the price of a cruise to a blanket. Granted, you might have to adjust the cost when you add smallpox to it, but still. That doesn’t seem fair. I guess the whole point of this is to let you know we’ll be back on Monday, so you all can enjoy a day of thanks. And by “thanks”, I mean be thankful that you have a day off to watch football because we saved you from starvation to give you the energy to rape everybody and burn down shit. Also, I have Green Bay at -6 1/2.

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Happy Good Friday, Everybody!



Well, people. I’m calling it a day. But much like Jesus, I will be back in about three days probably not smelling so hot. So have a good weekend, be safe, and explain to your kids about the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ by telling them a giant bunny hid them chocolate eggs and wants them to wear a stupid looking dress. I’m sure that’s what Jesus intended.

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