Lady Gaga Just Elected Trump
Lady Gaga Just Elected Trump

 

Besides 2016 being the year of the liberal echo chamber where being “problematic” on Twitter could cost you your job and wearing a Halloween costume that might offend someone could force you to do a Cersei penance walk while people who have their rent covered by their parents throw shit at you, it’s also the year we decided white people are the cause of every single bad thing that has ever happened. Then in a country with 77% white people, we’re shocked that Trump has kept the election close. If you think only racist rednecks are voting for Trump, you’re gonna be super shocked tonight. Maybe in 2020, we can change that narrative so people won’t feel the need to vote for a cartoon villain just stop listening to your insufferable whining and superiority complex. And to make matter worse, Lady Gaga showed up in Raleigh last night to campaign for Hillary Clinton looking like a Nazi intergalactic space overlord. That plays well in NC let me tell you.

 

 

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2016 Presidential Debate Recap
2016 Presidential Debate Recap



So if you didn’t watch the 2016 Presidential Debate last night between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, here’s the recap. I thought it was gonna be more, but it only took 17 pics. This won’t take you long.
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Hillary Clinton Did ‘Between Two Ferns’
Hillary Clinton Did ‘Between Two Ferns’


I’m gonna give you a break from all this Brangelina stuff (because THERE’S MORE), so here’s Hillary Clinton doing Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis. I have to admit, for a person whose health is in rapid decline and who suffers from severe brain damage, she’s seems to be holding up pretty well. Or maybe it’s the body double. What does the LIBERAL MEDIA NOT WANT US TO KNOW?! I’m sure Breitbart readers will continue to throw up shit hoping something, anything sticks. You know,  if they have time from tweeting pictures of gas ovens to Jewish reporters. 


 

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Hillary Clinton Is The Democratic Nominee For President, Let’s Move On
Hillary Clinton Is The Democratic Nominee For President, Let’s Move On


Last night, the Associated Press declared Hillary Clinton the “the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee“. I know, I know, the CORPORATE MEDIA. The same corporate media who played every racist, sexist, dumbass Donald Trump soundbite on a constant loop, yet he still moonwalked into the Republican nomination. The media must wield a lot of power. Bernie Sanders, of course, has refused to concede despite Clinton leading in every conceivable metric. Immediately after this was announced, Sen. Sanders released this statement. Let’s examine it! Yay!

It is unfortunate that the media, in a rush to judgement, are ignoring the Democratic National Committee’s clear statement that it is wrong to count the votes of superdelegates before they actually vote at the convention this summer.

Uh oh, “the media”. I thought that was Sarah Palin’s thing? Also, “superdelegates”. This will be a pattern. 

Secretary Clinton does not have and will not have the requisite number of pledged delegates to secure the nomination.

This is correct. She doesn’t. She just needs to win 30% of the remaining pledge delegates. Honestly, what’s the probability of that happening? Honestly. Would Sanders concede then? Well, no duh.

She will be dependent on superdelegates who do not vote until July 25 and who can change their minds between now and then. They include more than 400 superdelegates who endorsed Secretary Clinton 10 months before the first caucuses and primaries and long before any other candidate was in the race. Our job from now until the convention is to convince those superdelegates that Bernie is by far the strongest candidate against Donald Trump.

Now, for the sake of time, we can skip the fact that if the Democratic presidential process abided by GOP rules, this shit would have been over in March. Now, I’m not a political strategist, but calling superdelegates “undemocratic” (and accusing them of being Clinton $hills in your statement), then needing to “convince” them to change their minds so you can win, doesn’t really seem like the best move, no? Maybe talking in circles isn’t really my thing. Can Sanders convince all of them to switch sides? Nothing’s impossible. But since math exists, Clinton would still have more pledged delegates more of the popular vote by tonight. So if Sanders and his supporters don’t want superdelegates to “thwart the will of the people“, then what exactly is he trying to gain here? Any way you read it, it doesn’t sound very democratic does it? Sorry. Now if your argument is that the superdelegates should change their minds since Sanders polls better against Trump (which he doesn’t), Facebook tells me that polls don’t matter when Clinton is mentioned. Somebody needs to clear that up. And if your ultimate goal is to beat Trump, but you refuse to vote for Clinton if she is the nominee, you have to be real with yourself about your reasons for allowing Trump to be elected. If you want to take your toys and go home, just do that instead of a four-scroll FB post. Nobody has that kind of time. And if you’re still not convinced of the math or your miscalculated strategy, you might want to tell me that Bernie Sanders is a “movement” that can’t be stopped. That’s fine. Now if you’re cool with joining the zero sum cult lead by an elderly man who thinks the wealthy are evil and that the woman he’s fighting against is an elitist with too much power, then congratulations, you’re followers of The High Sparrow. You’re not? Then why did you post this article on Facebook today? We telling women how to dress now? Let me know when her walk of atonement is scheduled.  

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Ted Cruz Has High Production Value
Ted Cruz Has High Production Value

 

Hillary Clinton announced her Presidential run on Sunday in a video where she check marked every possible demographic, and almost immediately, Ted Cruz posted a response video called “We’re Ready For Hillary”. You’d think all the money he gets from Koch Industries, he could afford a video that didn’t look like he put out an ad on Craigslist offering copy/credit/exposure/one free meal. If you listen to it with the sound off, it looks like he’s asking for a ransom.

 

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Hillary Clinton Might Be Bisexual
Hillary Clinton Might Be Bisexual

 

Proving that their is no statute of limitations on scorned woman crazy, Bill Clinton's former sidepiece, Gennifer Flowers, is now saying that Hillary Clinton is bisexual. The Daily Mail reports:

Their 12-year affair made Gennifer Flowers one of the most high profile mistresses in America. Now, two decades after they split amid scandal, the former news reporter from Little Rock, Arkansas wants to ‘sit down and talk’ with Bill Clinton. In an exclusive interview with MailOnline, Gennifer has spoken of her deep regret at turning down Clinton’s pleas to talk some eight years ago and revealed her belief that they would still be together today, were it not the birth of Clinton’s daughter, Chelsea….Gennifer said: ‘I don’t know Huma or the Weiners. I just know what Bill told me and that was that he was aware that Hillary was bisexual and he didn’t care. He should know. 'He said Hillary had eaten more p***y than he had.’

Holy crap. Our current President is a Kenyan Socialist put in place by cyborg Illumunati who won't rest until he provides healthcare for poor people and passes laws that might decrease the chance of you getting shot to death in a Wendy's, and our next President is a Marxist in a pantsuit who whipped her hair at Benghazi and her tongue at vagina. How long before everybody at Fox News starts burning their sets to make fire and voting on a leader based on a death match in a ring of torches?

 

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