Heather Locklear Is Still A Lot Of Fun

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In 2008, Heather Locklear was arrested for impaired driving then tried to commit suicide, so what’s going on with her in 2012? Oh, you know, the usual. Xanax and overdosing and what not. TMZ reports:

Heather Locklear was taken to the hospital by ambulance Thursday afternoon after taking a dangerous mix of prescription drugs and alcohol … law enforcement sources tell TMZ. We’ve learned … Locklear’s sister called 911 at 2:05 PM PT fearing Heather was in danger. The fire department, along with the Ventura County Sheriff’s Department responded. Paramedics examined Heather and determined she needed to be hospitalized. This is not the first time Locklear has had a medical emergency where 911 responded. Locklear recently called off her engagement to Jack Wagner. Heather was at the Lakers game Tuesday night … hanging with a friend, who was playfully trying to take away her beverage. It’s unclear if the drink contained alcohol.

So, Locklear went to the Lakers game on Tuesday night, got shitfaced, then went home and realized she’s 50 and newly single then drank some more then took some Xanax then drank some more then it was Wednesday then took some more Xanax then opened another bottle of something then cried to her cat then took another Xanax then it was Thursday then fell down at some point while trying to pour another drink. I don’t know. Something like that. This is all just speculation on my part.

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Heather Locklear Isn’t Done Yet
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Heather Locklear was celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ this weekend by going to Hawaii and getting in a bikini. 48-year old women in bikinis usually isn’t my thing, but that’s until you realize that Heather Locklear is almost 50 and looks better than most of the skanks on this site. The only bad thing is that she’s part Native, so when I ask her if she has any Native American in her, my usual follow up question might cause an awkward pause.

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Heather Locklear Got Arrested

Heather Locklear was arrested Saturday night after witnesses called police because Locklear was driving erratically and loudly revving her engine when leaving a parking lot in Montecito, California. Witnesses say she also backed over a pair of sunglasses several times. Why? TMZ reports:

A resident reported Heather was “driving erratically” while pulling out of a parking lot. The California Highway Patrol then found Locklear’s car parked on a state highway and blocking a lane. After talking with her, the officer determined she was under the influence of something and arrested her. She was tested for drugs and alcohol. As we first reported, law enforcement tells us alcohol was not a factor. They are conducting drug tests. She was released without having to post bail.”

If I move to California I’m buying a jetpack or Falkor, because there’s no way in hell I’m driving on the same road as these lunatic actors in Hollywood. Seriously, I’m only half joking when I say I’d rather be in a cavalcade and driving by a book repository than walking across the street in L.A.

Heather acting crazy and shocking back in June:

Banner photo: Splash

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Linker Locklear

Hulk Hogan needs to stop talking [Dlisted]
Carmen Electra nude in some old photoshoot (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend molded her ass [Hollywood Rag]
Johnny Depp is a public enemy [Just Jared]
Lindsay Lohan looking skanky, as usual [Hollywood Tuna]
Robert Downey Jr. goes rug shopping [Popsugar]
Jessica Alba’s baby pictures [City Rag]
Nick Zano’s big box [ASL]
Elliot Spitzer’s hooker is at the beach [Egotastic]
Aisleyne Horgan Wallace topless pictures (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Heather Locklear drunk and flashing gang signs a couple nights ago:

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Heather Linklear

Jack Black upstages Angelina Jolie [Dlisted]
Jennifer Aniston’s ass from a stalker angle (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Paris Hilton’s yucky fashion [Hollywood Rag]
Christina Aguilera’s breasts are huge [Hollywood Tuna]
Fantasia scares Simon Cowell [Just Jared]
Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson broke up again [Popsugar]
Christina Aguilera or transvestite? [City Rag]
Jodie Foster and her girlfriend broke up [ASL]
Marisa Miller tops Maxim’s Hot 100 list [Popoholic]
Blake Lively and Maria Menounos photo-op [Egotastic]
Rachael Leigh Cook shows off her cleavage (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Sneakers was a great movie and if you don’t like it you’re a butthole [Pajiba]
This Panda is doing an impression of me. Allergy season blows. [College Humor]

Heather Locklear at The Ivy (a.k.a. Paparazzi Photo-Op Central) on May 14th:

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Heather Locklear is Still Alive

Here’s Heather Locklear’s “I’m Not Dead Yet” photo-op showing us all her suicide attempt wasn’t successful. She’s also showing us she can’t quit Dr. Peter Burns. Heather, you will always have “Special Guest Star” billing in my heart. And Jack, baby, you’re all I need:

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