Taylor Swift Isn’t Passive Aggressive At All

Hey, remember this dress that Taylor Swift looked kinda hot in at the 2013 AMAs on Sunday? As it turns out, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley looked very hot in the same dress when she grinded on Harry Style's lap during a Glamour photoshoot this summer. E! News reports:

Taylor Swift made for one very glam golden girl at Sunday night's 2013 American Music Awards in her Julien Macdonald mini dress, but she wasn't the first leggy lady to rock the sexy look. Yep, before Swift walked the red carpet at the annual awards show in the glittering design, model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley stunned in the teeny-weeny number—with Swift's ex, no less! The British babe posed alongside Tay-Tay's former flame Harry Styles and the rest of the One Direction boys in the pages of Glamour's August 2013 issue in the strapless metallic number. Huntington-Whitely flaunted her cleavage with the frock's plunging neckline, but the singer took a more modest route, having a sheer illusion lining added that was sure to aid in the prevention of any unwanted wardrobe malfunctions.

Man what are the odds that Taylor Swift would wear the Puritan version of the dress that Harry Styles went home and masturbated to at the same event where she was sure Styles would see her? The only problem with Taylor Swift's master plan is that Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's body look like THIS. Taylor Swift's body looks like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's body after it's been donated to science for two weeks.

 

 

Related Posts:

Tags: , , , ,
Kendall Jenner Is Banging Harry Styles

Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner went out to dinner last week then he spent the night with her at Bruce Jenner's beach house leading many media outlets to speculate that the pair are dating. Let me clear this up, they are not dating. They're bonin'. Happy Monday.  Daily Mail reports:

They have been touted as the celebrity world's hottest new young couple since they were spotted enjoying a cosy dinner date last week. And it would appear that Harry Styles has already secured a welcome nod of approval from Kendall Jenner's Olympian father, Bruce.  The One Direction heartthrob was spotted tucking into a pot of yoghurt and a cup of coffee in Malibu, California, after reportedly spending the night at the former athlete's beach house…The young couple reportedly struck up a close friendship when they met at The X Factor USA studio while One Direction recorded their performance for last week's show.

And to tell you all you really need to know, Kendall Jenner was asked about Styles last night and said they were "friends".

Speaking to E!'s Giuliana Rancic on the red carpet, she said: 'We're friends. He's cool, yeah, he's cool. You go out with one person, you're automatically dating them.'

If a chick says a guy is her friend, she has either banged him previously, is currently texting him when she's drunk for him to bang her, is banging him at this moment, or will bang him eventually in the near future. And if she has no interest in banging him, it's only a matter of time when she stops being his friend because he just tried to bang her. Those are your only options. So the people saying that they are dating really need to open their eyes. I hate to be the one to raise my hand in the class here, but Harry Styles is white.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Harry Styles Is Banging This
Harry Styles Is Banging This

 

Even though they dated about five minutes longer than it takes Adele to take a shit after Del Taco, Taylor Swift wrote a song about Harry Styles and continues to be a vindictive cunt whenever they're in the same room. Look, I'm not one to defend any member of One Direction, but Harry Styles is obviosuly completely over it and gives zero damns to the point where he thinks Taylor's 5th grade drama is funny. And since we all know that the only thing that heats up Taylor's cold, lifeless vagina is seeing her ex-boyfriends happily move on without her, she's probably has a fever today because based on this picture taken at a party after the VMAs Sunday night, Harry's supposedly dating model Paige Reifler. Expect a song about a slutty model on Swift's new album.  Hollywood Life reports:

Harry Styles reportedly has a mystery girlfriend, but thanks to a new Instagram pic, we may now know who the woman in question is! Harry was recently spotted with sexy model Paige Reifler and a few friends, in a new Instagram pic, leading many to believe she may be his new girlfriend. “Harry has a new girlfriend,” a source told The Sun. “It’s someone he’s known for a while. It’s early days but they’re getting on really well, and the fact that he’s flown her to New York City shows how keen he is. He’s introducing her as his girlfriend to the camp. They seem very well-suited and happy.” But is the mystery girl actually Paige? The jury is still out, but when you’re a celebrity and you get photographed with a girl, it’s usually the real deal. So only time will tell if these two are friends or something more.

First off, screw you Taylor Swift for making me like a dude in One Direction. Secondly, go buy a vibrator that will text you during the day to say that it loves you. I'm sure Jennifer Aniston has one, just ask her where she got it.

 

Pic source = Instagram

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Somebody Hit Harry Styles In The Dick With A Shoe


Because teenage girls are stupid everywhere, One Direction performed in Glasglow last night. Taylor Swift apparently was also there with change of shoes.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
This May Explain A Few Things


Taylor Swift got dumped by Harry Styles recently, and some people said it was because she was a bottomless pit of need and insecurity and probably stopped taking her birth control. But he’s 19 and still sucks thumb because cocks aren’t always readily available I guess.

Photo credit = WENN

Related Posts:

Tags:
Taylor Swift Has Already Written Five Songs About Harry Styles



Two days after the news broke that she was dumped yet again, Taylor Swift tweeted this. If you’re doing the math at home, she wrote a song for every 13 days they were together. Sun reports:
HEARTBROKEN Taylor Swift has already penned FIVE songs about her break-up with Harry Styles — despite the couple only splitting a week ago. The American singer is back in the studio and deciding whether to release more tracks about another failed showbiz relationship. Grammy winner Taylor, 23, has just had a No1 hit called We Are Never, which is rumoured to be about Hollywood actor Jake Gyllenhaal. And the star — who only dated One Direction pin-up Harry, 18, for 66 days — also pulled out her poison pen for US singer John Mayer in song Dear John. A source revealed: “Taylor writes music in the same way that other women chat to their friends on the phone. “It’s been how she deals with her emotions for most of her life. “Harry and Taylor only dated for a short time but there were very strong feelings, so it’s been a tough comedown.” The source added: “Lyrics have been written, but Taylor hasn’t come close to deciding whether she’ll ever release them. A song about it will surface at some point but it won’t be anything like the way she had a dig at her other ex John Mayer in one of her other tracks.”

Taylor Swift has been attached to 13 dudes in 4 years, so is she really looking for love or trying to set a world record in imaginary bridal registries? Stop asking dudes to pick out baby names on the first date. Stop buying a house in their neighborhood on the third. Get a tan. Find out why your eyes look Asian. Chill with the bangs. Stop dating dudes based on whether you can check them out of school. Learn a new kind of song. Maybe think about implants. When a guy shows interest in you, go home and practice your sane face in the mirror the same way you do your “I’m so shocked to win this award” face. Watch more Investigative Discovery. Get a cat. Get two cats. I can’t think of anything else right now, but stay away from dick for a while.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Harry Styles Dumped Taylor Swift Because She’s “Asexual And Doesn’t Put Out”



Well, I guess this would explain it. It would explain everything. Radar Online reports:

Harry Styles dumped Taylor Swift after growing tired of her “asexual” ways, RadarOnline.com exclusively reports. The 18-year-old One Direction heartthrob, who has earned a reputation as a ladies’ man across the pond, got bored of Taylor, 23, after she hardly ever put out. “Taylor is so concerned that the public will think she’s a wh*re because she dates around, that she doesn’t put out,” a pal close to the We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together singer told RadarOnline.com. “What she doesn’t get is that the guys keep dumping her because she’s being a prude.” Another source says the fact that she constantly talked about antiques was another turn-off for the young singer! “Harry found Taylor a little sexually uninterested,” a source close to the star revealed.

If I was a famous 18-year old dude, a chick would have to bring a lot more to the table than just wanted to spoon while watching Love Actually. And if Taylor Swift is concerned that people think she’s a whore, then maybe she shouldn’t be in a different relationship every five minutes. Maybe she should just pick one guy and start being comfortable with semen on her T-zone. We usually pass out engagement rings for that.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
SHOTS FIRED! SHOTS FIRED!



On the same day that Harry Styles dumped Taylor Swift because her vagina apparently has teeth, Miley Cyrus posted a picture of herself in bed with a cardboard cutout of Harry Styles. So, Taylor Swift’s new album should probably be out some time later this week.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Taylor Swift Bought Harry Styles $80K Of Beatles Stuff



“I call this one the John Mayer LOL”

When Taylor Swift turned 23 earlier this month, Harry Styles spent $1,500 on 23 cupcakes, a Jimmy Choo bag, and earrings. And since Taylor Swift has no fucking idea how to take shit slow, because she’s a codependent slut who falls in love with anyone famous who says hi to her, she just dropped $80K on Beatles memorabilia, because Styles is a fan. New York Daily News reports:

Nothing says love like $80,000 worth of Beatles memorabilia. In a sign of just how fast her latest relationship is blossoming, Taylor Swift has called around Liverpool record shops in an effort to purchase the perfect gift for her beau, One Direction singer Harry Styles, London’s Daily Star reported. It’d be the perfect gift for 18-year-old Styles, despite his boy band pedigree, is a huge fan of the Fab Four.

Conor Kennedy reportedly broke things off because apparently Taylor Swift was already talking about babies and getting married. And this was left than a month ago. Note to self: 1.) Tell Taylor Swift she’s pretty 2.) Tell her I’m a fan of cyborg dragons with laser eyes.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend Probably Banged Some College Chicks



If you live long enough, you’ll probably end up dating Taylor Swift because her vagina is basically Ellis Island. And your chances just got a little better, because her boyfriend, Harry Styles, more than likely banged some college chicks as soon as she left England. New York Post reports:
Hours after seeing Taylor Swift off to Germany, Harry Styles attended a party where he was snapped hanging out with a bevy of female college students. According to The Mirror, Styles turned up at the bash at 1:30 a.m. and partied with the star-struck Sheffield students for three hours. Fangirls excitedly took to Twitter to announce their night with the One Direction heartthrob. One tweeted about a friend, “He told her she was very attractive and to take off her Minnie Mouse suit lol.” Another tweeted, “Best day of my life! Chilled with him for like 3 hours!!! I was literally in shock the whole time, trying to play it cool haha, but inside i was freaking out!!!!!”

Whatever. I’m more concerned with what’s going on with Taylor Swift’s ass. Can you legally call that an ass? You’d probably cum faster fucking a pizza box.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,