Emily Sears Was Random Shit

Ok so this is gonna be my last Halloween post of 2016 unless Clinton tricks us by learning how to use email or if Fred or Daphne finally pull off Trump’s mask, but Emily Sears is one of my favorites so that means she’s forced to be one of your favorites. Her unquenchable thirst for Instagram likes aside, have you seen her ass? You probably have. Anyway, she dressed up as a bunch of random shit on Halloween and here’s the pics or whatever.

 

[  pics via Instagram  ]

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Heidi Klum Was Fail
Heidi Klum Was Fail

 

I had a feeling as soon as I posted this, Heidi Klum would wipe that all away but goddamn, not like this. Apparently Heidi Klum’s costume this year was cloning herself by making other women(?) sit through makeup and prosthetics to look like her, but she failed to realize that regular women can’t look like Heidi Klum. No amount of makeup or rubber will do that. These chicks look like a drag show that was stopped because everyone realized it was a horrible mistake. Christ, this is depressing.

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Of Course Lindsay Lohan Was Harley Quinn

I thought we’d get through Halloween without any generic Harley Quinn costumes, but I forgot to factor in that Lindsay Lohan is somehow still alive. I guess this is better than the time she dressed up like the lady Charles Manson had killed, but this looks like a methadone clinic decided to have a Halloween party last minute.

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Taylor Swift & Squad Were Non-Offensive
Taylor Swift & Squad Were Non-Offensive

 

Each time you get offended by a Halloween costume, a white person secretly votes for Trump, so good thing Taylor Swift and her squad spent Halloween like they spend their lives: being as bland and boring as possible. Unless there’s a think piece about the black girl with rollers in her hair, this is pretty much the least “offensive thing” I’ve seen this year. The only one who should really bee offended is Martha Hunt, since Taylor called her “Martha Brady” instead of “Marcia Brady”.

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Kylie Jenner Was Xtina
Kylie Jenner Was Xtina

 

I guess it’s time for the Halloween posts, so here’s Kylie Jenner as the Xtina incarnation of Christina Aguilera. According to Kylie, 2016 is the year of realizing stuff, and I’m now realizing her boobs look weird. They look weird, right?

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Charli XCX Is The Devil

The Kiss FM Haunted House Party was last night, and Charli XCX dressed up like a devil in a bikini. Not the metaphorical kind. Not sure what her demonic power is, but if I had to guess, it appears to be recent weight loss. Hail, Satan.

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Heidi Klum’s Halloween: A Retrospective

We’re four days before Halloween, people. That means Harley Quinn and a bunch of Harambe. Heidi Klum will toss that weak shit outta here, because nobody does Halloween like Heidi Klum. Nobody. Well, maybe Michael Myers. Not the Rob Zombie ones. So in order of #TBT, let’s take a look back at the true master of the holiday that Heidi Klum thinks is better than the one about that one Middle Eastern refugee kid all the white people like.

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