Emmy Rossum Giseled
Emmy Rossum Giseled

 

Fresh off her Esquire shoot, Emmy Rossum decided to keep her name in your mouth by mocking Gisele's breastfeeding Instagram pic with the caption:

Hey @giseleofficial, I feel ya girl. #kidding #fakebaby #soymilk #shameless

Ironically, this is to promote Shameless, but I'm really more concerned who the father of this baby is. And shouldn't this baby be wearing a "2013 Duke ACC Football Champions" t-shirt?

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Gisele Bundchen Posted A Breastfeeding Pic On Instagram
Gisele Bundchen Posted A Breastfeeding Pic On Instagram

 

So the Internet flipped out for a little bit, because Gisele Bundchen posted this pic of her breastfeeding her kid with the caption:

What would I do without this beauty squad after the 15 hours flying and only 3 hours of sleep #multitasking #gettingready

Before we all jump in and say a natural function of life is gross and has no business being posted on social media, let's all realize that this kid has Gisele Bundchen's boobs in his mouth everyday and you don't. Let's not lose focus on who the real enemy is here,

Related Posts:

Tags:
Gisele Seems To Be Taking The Patriots’ Loss Well

[SinglePic not found]

Although I correctly predicted the final score, I picked the Patriots to win, and Gisele Bundchen basically explains why they lost. TMZ reports:

On her way out of the stadium last night, the supermodel was heckled by New York Giants fans … one who screamed, “Eli owns your husband.” Gisele didn’t shout back … but turned to a friend and said, “My husband can not f****ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.” Clearly, G was taking a shot at Wes Welker, Aaron Hernandez … and every other Pats player who CHOKED during the big game. The comment was captured on tape and has already hit the Internet. A short time later, Gisele could be seen comforting her hubby in the bowels of the stadium.

I’d like to feel bad for Tom Brady, but the pity head and fuck he got last night from a Victoria’s Secret model kinda makes that a little difficult. I bet he didn’t have to force it into tight coverage when he got home later amirite?!

Related Posts:

Tags:
Gisele Is A Doctor

A model said something stupid? GTFO!

The supermodel’s latest gaffe: claiming she doesn’t use sun tan lotions because all of the chemicals they contain.

“I cannot put this poison on my skin,” Bundchen — who has appeared in ad campaigns for Nivea Sun products — said at the launch of her own organic skin care range, according to the UK’s Daily Mail. “I do not use anything synthetic.”

Instead, the leggy beauty says she protects herself from sun damage by only exposing herself to rays before 8 A.M.

However, cancer experts have been quick to question Bundchen’s expertise on the matter.

“Sunscreen prevents damage to the skin and is of fundamental importance for the prevention of cancer,” said Dolival Loao, head of dermatology at Brazil’s National Cancer Institute. “This is not any poison, when a public person makes a statement like this, it creates confusion.”

Give me a break. If Gisele really insisted on not using anything synthetic, she would never leave the house with makeup, self tanner, hair extensions, or fake eyelashes ever again. Since that won’t happen, she’s lashing out at something she used to endorse in order to gain publicity for something different she’s currently selling. If this “creates confusion” for anyone, they probably took all of their classes in a room with ramp access.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Tom Brady And Gisele Had A Boy



New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady welcomed his second child (the first that he didn’t leave while the mother was pregnant) with supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Page Six reports:
It’s a boy for Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady. People is reporting the pair have welcomed their first child. Brady has 2-year-old son Jack with ex Bridget Moynahan. The New England Patriots quarterback and the Brazilian supermodel tied the knot during a private ceremony back in February and then held a reception in Costa Rica in July.

To reiterate, Tom Brady is prettier than your girlfriend, is a two-time Super Bowl MVP, and an international supermodel didn’t mind if he didn’t pull out. Awesome. In recognition of their special day, I would just like to say fuck you, Tom Brady.

NOTE: No, I don’t mean “three-time Super Bowl Champion”. I mean “two-time Super Bowl MVP”. Thanks, though.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Gisele Bundchen In Numero, Tokyo

I’m a little confused because these ultra sexy pictures of Gisele Bundchen are from a magazine called, Numero, but they are for Numero’s Tokyo Edition, which explains some of the “I’m a Space Alien sent to sell you Bento shaped like Space Aliens” facial expressions. What’s not explained is how someone in Tokyo asks for Numero Magazine. I’m guessing “Noom-Ro.”

Oh, the charm of mild racism.

Insert topical Swine Flu reference here.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Failed to POP-a-razzi

Meet Uri Cortez, the bureau chief for AFP press agency. He’s a paparazzi. And while he was trying to take creepy spy pictures of Gisele Bundchen’s Costa Rican re-wedding to Tom Brady, someone shot at him. He reported to the Costa Rican police that Bundchen’s security team fired a bullet at him as he sat in his car, smashing the rear window and bouncing off the front windscreen, missing his head by inches.

What a noble profession where you get shot at and unironically sell your story off to the very companies that would have bought Gisele/Brady re-wedding pics in the first place. We got ours from Splash.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Sorry Ladies



After dating for almost three years, New England Patriots quarterback(?) Tom Brady and model Gisele Bundchen were married yesterday in Santa Monica. Us Magazine reports:
The bride, 28, donned a form-fitting ivory lace strapless gown with a trumpet skirt, scalloped edges, long train and a floor-length veil with attached handmade satin roses and attached satin headband, all by Dolce & Gabbana. Her three dogs also wore matching Dolce & Gabbana floral lace collars….The ceremony — which began at dusk — was “very small and intimate,” a source tells Us, adding that guests mostly consisted of immediate family. Brady’s son with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan, John Edward Thomas Moynahan, was also present.

Bridget Moynahan was pregnant when Tom Brady started dating Gisele, so I bet this wasn’t awkward. Not at all. When asked for comment, Bridget said, “So let me get this straight. I plug the hose directly into the tailpipe, right?”

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Leonardo DiCaprio Had Girl Problems





In a recent interview, Leonardo DiCaprio revealed he was a “slow starter” with women. I really hope he doesn’t expect me to feel sorry for him.

“He said: “I’ve always been a slow starter. My first date was with a girl called Cessi. We had a beautiful relationship over the phone all summer and then when we met I couldn’t look her in the eye.” The 33-year-old star – who recently revealed he is keen to put his playboy lifestyle behind him and settle down – is notoriously secretive about his private life, but claims he has to be in order to ensure he is believable as an actor.”

What a touching story. Poor Leonardo. He had to suffer through that embarrassment just so he could live to get balls deep in Helena Christensen, Gisele Bundchen, and Bar Refaeli. I just don’t know how he managed to live like that. My penis heard me reading this and he picked up a megaphone and started passing out flyers in protest.

Bar Refaeli:

Gisele Bundchen:

Helena Christensen (NSFW):

Related Posts:

Tags: , , , ,
Gisele Bundchen Has Nice Shorts



Apparently somebody entered me into a competition to see how many bare asses I could get on the front page, so here’s Gisele Bundchen’s at a Malibu photoshoot this week. Yay me! The Sun says:

The Brazilian beauty got her perfect rear into gear during a Marin Testino photo-shoot in Malibu this week. Fresh from a trip to Ibiza with Vogue, Gisele sizzled in bizarre thong-style micro-shorts. A delighted holidaymaker told me: “It’s normally Gisele’s boobs and legs which grab the limelight but there was no mistaking her fine bottom. “I think all of the staff were a tad jealous when a bearded man had to apply oil to her bum cheeks.”

If I was that actual bearded man, I probably wouldn’t be into women, but on the off-chance I was, I’m pretty sure I would cut my hand off and place it upon a satin pillow inside a glass case. And shining on that glass case would a be light, a beacon if you will, a beacon of hope for all those who traveled to ask my hand to heal their sick and contact their dead loved ones. The hand would enjoy feasts and parades as young virgins were offered up to him. And there would be much rejoicing. You know, something like that.

Related Posts:

Tags: