Gerard Butler Is Texting Charlotte McKinney Right Now Probably
Gerard Butler Is Texting Charlotte McKinney Right Now Probably

BREAKING: Gerard Butler is a fuck boy.

Charlotte McKinney had a lot of admirers at the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Daytona 500 in Florida this weekend, including Gerard Butler. According to a source, the “300” star, who was at the event serving as grand marshal, was spotted asking the well-endowed model for her digits. As of December, McKinney was reportedly dating “Blade” star Stephen Dorff. Butler split from girlfriend Morgan Brown earlier this month. Reps for both did not respond to requests for comment.

Blah blah blah good for him blah blah hit it once for me bro blah bah Charlotte McKinney topless. Bro, I am killin this page view game right now. 

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Gerard Butler Really Likes Cocaine/Prescription Drugs

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Gerard Butler is checking into Betty Ford today for what is being described as “issues with pain management”. Or “I manage to pop pain pill like Tic-Tacs even when I’m not in pain” or “Bro, I was so fucking high one time I banged Brandi Glanville and don’t even remember that shit. Who are you calling?”

Butler’s problems were triggered by the physical demands of shooting “300” in 2006. We’re told the actor began struggling with pain management, and the problem became exacerbated while filming “Of Men and Mavericks,” when Butler was badly hurt on December 18 during a surfing accident. We’re told Butler realized he was relying too much on prescription drugs and decided to head off a full-blown addiction by entering Betty Ford three weeks ago. Sources tell TMZ … Butler also developed issues with cocaine, but the root problem appears to be the injuries and pain management. We’re told Butler will be leaving Betty Ford later today.

I probably should have called this weeks ago, because Jess loves Gerard Butler and only spreads her disproportionate legs for Mexicans or dudes with severe drug problems. Or Mexicans with severe drug problems. As soon as that kid from ModerN Family grows up and gets hooked on heroin, Jess’s vagina could water a small to medium sized farm.

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Didn’t LeAnn Rimes used to be a singer? [Taxidriver Movie]
Shakira has a wedgie [The Superficial]
Candice Swanepoel is on video [Popoholic]
Sienna Miller is pregnant. Can you get herpes through breast feeding? [Celebitchy]
Russell Brand is uninvited from the People’s Choice Awards [The Blemish]
“Twitties?” I see what they did there! [Zoo Today]
Erin Garrett looks really unique [Coed Magazine]
Chaz Bono is saving up for a dick [Dlisted]
Emmy Rossum is cute [I’m Not Obsessed]
Vanessa Hudgens is in a trailer [Moe Jackson]
Katy Perry has awesome parents [Popbytes]
Jessica-Jane Clement is in lingerie [Egotastic]
Angelina Jolie has a lost twin [Allie Is Wired]
Brittney Palmer has a calendar [The Chive]
Beyonce influenced Ms. Cleo? [Popcrush]
Kelly Clarkson may have lost sales because of Ron Paul [Popcrush]
Tina Fey got me extra excited for 30 Rock [A Socialite’s Life]
Kim Kardashian is asking for it [Amy Grindhouse]
Shit girls say [Tabloid Prodigy]
Usher has some unlikely competition [Best Week Ever]
Kat Dennings has a boyfriend [Huffington Post]
Rose McGowan is alive [Hollywood Tuna]
Adriana Lima in bikinis on video [Celebuzz]
Ryan Reynolds because I don’t need a reason [Celebslam]
Britney Spears is getting comfortable [Evil Beet]

Follow us [Facebook][Twitter][Todd’s Formspring] [Jess’s Formspring][Todd][Jess]

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I Was Almost A Widow

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“Earth and water? You’ll find plenty of both down there.” The Chicago Sun-Times reports:

Gerard Butler is OK after being held underwater by some big waves while filming for a movie about a surfer at Mavericks, a famed Northern California surf break known for treacherous, stories-high waves. Filmmakers were shooting the 42-year-old “Of Men and Mavericks” star paddling out with competitive surfers Greg Long, Zach Wormhoudt and Peter Mel on Sunday afternoon, the San Mateo County Times reported ( The four were steering clear of a set of waves in the 15-foot range when a much larger set broke in front of them, said Wormhoudt, of Santa Cruz. Butler was held underwater for two waves and washed through some rocks while tethered to his surfboard, Wormhoudt said. A safety patrolman on a Jet Ski swooped in and picked up the actor. Butler was shaken up but not seriously injured, Wormhoudt said. He was taken by ambulance to Stanford Medical Center for examination and was later released.

Todd messaged me in a panic when the love of my life “almost died.” After I stopped stress eating long enough to read the article, I remembered that Todd is melodramatic. Let’s be real, the waves Gerard dealt with are little compared to what happens in my pants whenever I hear him talking about dining in hell. In any case, I’m glad he’s okay, though I wish he were somewhat incapacitated for a short time. It’d make the whole “stalk him until he loves me” thing a little easier if he couldn’t run so fast.

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CNN Heroes 2010 Happened

The actual heroes CNN saluted were all pretty unattractive, but the guests were decent.

In Jessica Alba‘s case, extremely bangin’. I hear she’s a hero to screenwriters everywhere.

Annalynne McCord looks like the Crypt Keeper, but she’s a PR hero for convincing the brass on 90210 that she’s the hot breakout star.

Demi Moore is a hero for cougars and plastic surgeons:

Emmy Rossum is a hero for girls who want to stay relevant by dating and dumping trolls.

John Legend and his lady, Christy Teigen, are heroes because she tweets us and he reads us.

I don’t know who Shay Mitchell is, so I’ll say she’s a hero because she’s Mulan:

And as for the banner picture, Gerard Butler is a hero for Sparta. And for my vagina.

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Gerard Butler Is Smooth

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What does Gerard Butler do when he’s posing for a fan picture with Jennifer Aniston in Paris? Whatever comes natural, baby.

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Jennifer Aniston Will Die Alone

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Jennifer Aniston needs a PR team to convince people that men are actually interested in her, and of course when she filmed The Bounty with Gerard Butler, Aniston did everything she possibly could to make you think he was banging her. Here’s a hint: he wasn’t. The Sun reports:

The Scot’s sizzling on-screen chemistry with BRAD PITT’s ex-wife in new movie The Bounty Hunter has everyone convinced the pair are an item off-screen…[But] Gerard explains: “I went for her birthday to Mexico. We’re just friends. “We have a natural chemistry – you can see it in our magazine shoot and the film. We have a great time together.” “But here’s the thing – while they’re accusing me of being with Jennifer, I’ve probably been off somewhere else doing damage with someone else.”

Aniston is probably seeing if the hose can reach the exhaust right now, because it can’t do much for her self-esteem to learn that being linked to her is more of accusation than it is a compliment. Maybe she should buy a Toyota and take a long drive to clear her head. And since she’s angry, maybe she just drive really fast. She should be fine. I hear the brakes are really good on those.

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Gerard Butler Is Sexing Jessica Simpson

Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson have reportedly started talking again, but it’s apparently not going according to plan, because Jessica Simpson had her publicist plant a story in the media that she was on a date with Gerard Butler. Page Six reports:

Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler had a date at Soho House Tuesday night, with friends including her hair stylist pal, Ken Paves, as chaperones. “They were at a table with friends, but Jessica and Gerard, who sat next to each other, seemed to only be interested in each other and chatted for hours,” a spy told Page Six. “They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together, along with Ken.” Publicists for both didn’t return calls.

Gerard Butler has gone on record saying that “I have been in relationships with women. And men. That doesn’t make me gay. That doesn’t make me straight.”, so what better person to keep the sexual ambiguous party going than Jessica Simpson? Her face looks like a jack-o-lantern and if it wasn’t for the fact that she had a “D” in bra size, she’d be telling me about the Aussie Autumn Adventures at Outback. Just $9.95 each!!

God, somebody get this retard a helmet:

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The Bounty Looks Good

I don’t know if anybody on set realized the metaphorical brilliance of Gerard Butler shoving Jennifer Aniston in the trunk of a car, but I’d like to think they did.

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Yes It Is

I’m not really sure how Katherine Heigl became America’s sweetheart, because her face looks kinda like a Moon Pie, and when she’s not being a raging cunt (see here and here) she looks like something Harry Potter would fight when she’s not surrounded by a Spartan army of hair and makeup people (here and here). So here she is at the premiere of The Ugly Truth, where she can be seen smiling because she’s tricked the world into thinking she’s anything but a marginal actress with completely average looks. Also good a tricks? That elephant at the zoo who rode the tricycle. How did she do that?!

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