The Cannes Film Festival Started

All the pretty people and Lana del Ray are at the Cannes Film Festival right now. Why that girl keeps getting invited to things like this I will never know. Anyway, here’s a bunch of pictures of people who are hotter and more successful than you will ever be in clothes that probably cost more than your car, because you know you love that kind of thing.

Note: I am 99% sure Todd is alive and will be back soon.

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Hugh Jackman Doesn’t Have Package Problems



I’m not able to say Hugh Jackman without pronouncing it “Huge Jock Man,” so I don’t think he needs a pair of Ewan McGregor’s Wonderjocks. Besides, we’ve been together a lot of times, so I think I’d know. Granted, it was when he was choosing me, his alleged “stalker,” out of police lineups, but it’s closer than you’ll ever get to him, so suck it.

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Ewan McGregor Has Package Problems



AussieBum, the company behind Wonderjocks, underwear which “helps to lift and promote the size of a man’s genitals,” has a fan in actor Ewan McGregor. How big of a fan? AussieBum founder Sean Asby says:

We found out that Ewan McGregor was buying them only because he made such a huge order and we had to do a credit check.”

Um, not really sure what to do here. There’s not much you can say to embarrass a guy who doesn’t mind a credit check because he has a bottle cap for a penis. He better be glad he’s rich and famous, because his award for “Technically Not Having a Vagina” probably wouldn’t get him a lot of dates.

Ewan McGregor and Hugh Jackman on the set of The Tourist:

Source

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