Ryan Gosling Is A Dad Now
Ryan Gosling Is A Dad Now

I forgot Eva Mendes was pregnant. Luckily, the baby did not.

Hey girl, indeed! Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling welcomed a baby girl on Friday, Sept. 12, multiple sources confirm exclusively to Us Weekly.

So there’s a four day old human alive right now because Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling had unprotected sex. At what point does this baby just stare at herself in a mirror all day? Six months old?

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Ryan Gosling Is Single. Or Isn’t Single.

That sound you heard yesterday was a tsunami of panties flying after two media outlets (InTouch Weekly and Life & Style) reported that Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes had split after two years. According to reports, Eva Mendes likes to party and Ryan Gosling likes to stay at home and make babies. Daily Mail reports:

They seemed to be crazy about each other when they stepped out regularly in LA with her dog Hugo. But on Wednesday, two publications reported Ryan Gosling, 33, and his girlfriend Eva Mendes, 39, split up over Christmas. 'There is no ill will,' InTouch's source said. 'Neither is rushing out to date other people right now.' Life & Style Weekly's source added: 'They just knew it was time.' Ryan's rep did not return calls to MailOnline. Eva's rep chose to not comment. A big problem was they liked different things. Eva, who is the face of Thierry Mugler perfume, preferred to be in the limelight, while her partner didn't. 'Eva loves Hollywood, the parties, the glamor,' a source shared. 'She loves going out.' But not Ryan, who is 'introverted – very serious and a total homebody'. Another problem was getting hitched and having babies. 'They knew it was time to take the next step and get married,' a friend admitted. 'But neither was sure they wanted that to happen.' Mendes has said in the past she was not interested in becoming a mother. 'I'm certainly not thinking about being a mom,' the beauty has said. 'I can't imagine it. I'm too selfish.' The Only God Forgives actor, however, wanted a brood. 'I'd like to be making babies,' he said. 'But I'm not, so I'm making movies.'

But as soon as the reports surfaced, Mendes' rep shot then down:

Sorry, ladies. Despite new reports which claim the couple, who were first romantically linked in September 2011, called it quits over the holidays, Eva's rep tells E! News the latest breakup reports are just another round of rumors.

It's a rep's job to say shit like this, so who knows if they're broken up or not. If they are, Ryan should text me. I mean, he's prettier than some of the chicks I've dated and I set a personal record max on the bench press yesterday. I also make pretty good brownies and can rock the fuck out of a tie and vest. Just sayin'. Holla at me, boo.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Ryan Gosling Is Very Calm And Easy Going

Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have been dating since September, so it’s only taken Gosling six months to become a controlling and jealous boyfriend who becomes enraged at the slightest perceived slight to Eva. Awesome! Women love that! Page Six reports:

We’re told the pair, in town for the premiere of their new movie, “The Place Beyond the Pines,” were at the Bowery Hotel Friday when a fashion photographer who had recently shot Mendes saw her and shouted, “Hey, baby!” “Ryan completely flipped out, and it got heated,” says an eyewitness. “Ryan got in the guy’s face and said, ‘Who are you calling baby?’ Eva had to jump in and calm everyone down before it came to fisticuffs. Ryan then made nice and shook the guy’s hand.”

Whoa, “fisticuffs”. That sounds pretty serious. I’m glad Eva stepped in before Ryan slapped him with a handkerchief and they both turned around and walked ten paces or whatever happens when a fashion photographer and a guy from the Mickey Mouse Club get into a fight.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Eva Mendes is the Most Desirable

Askmen.com’s Top 99 Most Desirable list came out today, and Eva Mendes was voted the Most Desirable of 2009. Yeah, sure, okay.

AskMen.com’s Top 99 Most Desirable Women is an annual list compiled by AM readers and staff, ranking the famous females deemed to be the year’s most alluring. Readers are asked to look beyond sex appeal and beauty to pick women who have the characteristics they value in a potential companion, like intelligence, humor, charisma, and ambition. The result is a list that acts as the definitive gauge for identifying what modern men desire most in their female companions.

Wow, so AskMen.com is obviously written by dudes in pink ascots drinking chamomile tea because I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “alluring”to describe a chick. Look, I’m not trying to take Eva Mendes on a dangerous jungle adventure to recover a lost diamond, I just want to see how close I can get her ankles to her ears. I can’t shake the feeling that Askmen.com might be somewhat overthinking this.

Note: In case you were wondering, the rest of the Top 10 are: #10 Kate Beckinsale, #9 Kristen Bell, #8 Rihana, #7 Scarlett Johansson, #6 Alessandra Ambrosio, #5 Anne Hathaway, #4 Keeley Hazell, #3 Marisa Miller, #2 Megan Fox. Jesus, 10, 9, 6, 4, 3, 2 are like penis powerball numbers.

Keeley Hazell:

Related Posts:

Tags: , , , ,
Eva Mendes is Topless in Vogue

Eva Mendes is the brown Jennifer Aniston, but at least she tries to mitigate some of the boring by being a raging drunk and taking her top off once in a while. Too bad she fails in this month’s Vogue Italia. She looks like a Mexican hooker at a WWII USO dance. Way to stay on the cutting edge, Vogue. You’d have an easier time getting me to jack off to a manila folder or X-ray results.

Most of these are NSFW:

Thanks to topless sniffing dog, Marcus, for sending these in!

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Eva Mendes is in Rehab

Yes, everyone in Hollywood is high:

TMZ has learned Eva Mendes is in Utah battling a substance abuse problem. We’re told the “Ghost Rider” star is at the famous Cirque Lodge, near Sundance. The Lodge, which treated Lindsay Lohan and other stars, is one of the most respected treatment facilities in the country. Eva has been at Cirque for several weeks.”

That’s right, Cirque Lodge is well respected. Just look what it did for Lindsay Lohan. There’s no doubt Eva Mendes will make a full recovery. Because smuggling in drugs and blowing guys in the bathroom just seem to be more relaxing in an unrivaled mountain setting.

Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz and Eva Mendes Burp and Fart

Eva Mendes and Cameron Diaz once spent a night burping and farting together. The masturbation material continues…

Gorgeous Eva went to Nepal with Cameron for an MTV show and confessed they stayed up in their hotel room breaking wind all night. Eva recalls: “Cameron is a big old belcher, but I can’t belch. “One night I had a heavy dinner, so I combated her belching with something I could do. “We were in side-by-side beds, so it was her disgusting bodily function versus mine. “It was an Eva-Cameron fart-belch off.”

“Cool” girls who hang with the boys can usually get away with this shit, but this is incredibly rare. Chicks like Jenny McCarthy have made a career out of it. However, Eva Mendes and Cameron Diaz are more manly than most male actors, so this news is not news. If I read a story in which scientists studied Eva and Cameron’s DNA and it was confirmed these “women” are actually females, then that would be shocking. But telling me they take pride in their gas is like telling me I am God. The enlightened ones have known this for centuries, now let us change topics, for I am now blushing.

Jenny McCarthy hotness, because it’s necessary:


Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Eva Mendes Lets Her Nipple Slip on French TV

Eva Mendes was in France all this week appearing on a bunch of television shows to promote the French premiere of Live!. I’m not sure what French shows usually consist of, probably discussions on finger painting and the art of surrendering, but I’m guessing a hot American chick’s nipples would probably be must-see TV.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Eva Mendes Would Rather Go Naked

Eva Mendes has been named the face of PETA’s winter anti-fur campaign. There’s an article where she rambles on about her dog speaking Spanish, but the only purpose of this post is Eva Mendes ass. With her slutted up hair and makeup, Eva poses completely nude with the caption, “Fur? I’d rather go naked.” I really hope she means that, because a lot of pubic hair is gross. Oh wait, we’re talking about animals. That’s right, murdering animals is bad. Except when they deserve it. Like when they’re real juicy.

These are probably NSFW:

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Eva Linkes

Penelope Cruz has a ridiculous dress [Dlisted]
Jennifer Love Hewitt responds to the bikini pics [Hollywood Rag]
Jennifer Aniston’s nose job [City Rag]
Lindsay Lohan is out whoring again [ASL]
Stacy Keibler is still alive [Hollywood Tuna]
Ashlee Simpson has crappy new music [Just Jared]
Ashton Kutcher is still getting paid to “act” [Popsugar]
Megan Gale is Wonder Woman [Popoholic]
Vanessa Hudgens showing off some leg (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather]
Japanese Diarrhea [College Humor]
Kristen Bell has cleavage [Egotastic]
Nobody Puts Pajiba in a Corner (Dancing With the Stars) [Pajiba]
Yet another Paris Hilton upskirt (NSFW ads) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Eva Mendes and her sexy booty in Beverly Hills on Nov. 29:

Related Posts:

Tags: ,