Henry Church Doesn’t Want To Tour With Britney Spears

Yesterday, between Albuterol treatments, Britney Spears announced on Good Morning America that she would be embarking on a summer co-headlining tour with Enrique Iglesias to promote her seventh album, Femme Fatale. Yet mere hours before Live Nation was scheduled to post concert dates, Enrique said whatever is Spanish for, “Damn, she’s really fat, huh? Just tell them my mom died or something. Or I drowned in a flood. Pass the salsa.” TMZ reports:

Enrique Iglesias dropped out of the upcoming Britney Spears concert tour because his ego couldn’t handle being her opening act … multiple sources connected with the tour tell TMZ. We’re told lawyers and agents for Britney and Enrique were hammering out an agreement for weeks, and the terms were finessed to make Enrique appear to be a co-headliner. We’re told both sides agreed to the deal and that’s why the announcement was made Tuesday. But just hours before Britney’s camp went public, Enrique was burning up the phone lines and the Internet, engaging various people connected with the tour in lengthy conversations in which he made it clear — he was, in reality, Britney’s opening act and he wanted out. One source says the deal was actually very favorable to Enrique … “great terms and great placement.” But we’re told it all came down to taking the stage before Brit — too much to handle.

I don’t know. That’s kind of a dick move. I mean, who wouldn’t want to tour with Britney? It’s almost Easter. I’d do it for the giant barbecue-flavored chocolate Easter Bunny alone.

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Enrique Iglesias Is Comfortable With Himself

I don’t know whether to be turned on or start building him a float for the next Pride Parade. Either way, I’m totally okay with this. According to OK! Magazine:

The 35-year-old star, who has been dating tennis ace Anna Kournikova since 2001, is not embarrassed by nudity and often likes to don his birthday suit with his buddies. He says: “I don’t know if I’m cool with it, but I’m not extremely embarrassed. I kind of like making fun of myself. I have five good friends and one of them is an exhibitionist so I think we all follow him. “Whenever he gets naked we all get naked and do stupid things.”

Thinking of Enrique Iglesias playing around naked with a group of his friends (who, in my head, all look like him) makes me think of Greco-Roman times where the men wrestled half-naked and looked like Gerard Butler in 300 and Brad Pitt in Troy, and that is definitely a happy place for my brain to be. So thank you Enrique, your self-disclosure has turned my Sunday frown completely upside down.

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