Tom Hiddleston Tried To Bang Priyanka Chopra At The Emmys
Tom Hiddleston Tried To Bang Priyanka Chopra At The Emmys


Taylor Swift‘s vision board had Tom Hiddleston proposing before the Emmys so she could flaunt her rock on the red carpet to an international audience for maximum exposure, but turns out she was boring. So instead of the publicity fairy tale that she dreamed, the guy she took on a plane with a camera crew to meet his mother less than two months ago, was trying to bang Quantico star Priyanka Chopra the whole night. 

When The Night Manager star and Priyanka Chopra presented an award Sunday night at the 2016 Emmys, viewers couldn’t help but notice the pair participating in a little twirl as they made their way to the microphone. Multiple eyewitnesses tell E! News that the pair was “openly flirting with each other” at the Emmys after-party in between snapping selfies and mingling with guests. “Tom had his arm around her and held her close. Afterwards, Tom and Priyanka talked closely and were holding hands at one point for a few moments,” our insider said. “Priyanka fixed Tom’s bow-tie and then the two kissed on both cheeks.”

Keep in mind, Tom Hiddleston had Taylor Swift grinding on his dick at the MET Gala in front of Calvin Harris, so he gives zero fucks about collecting your girl if you’re not protecting your girl. As I was saying:




I would say Taylor Swift is gonna kick all the Indian chicks out out of her squad, but there aren’t any.  Not sure she even knows what would look like. Maybe she can hide behind a dumpster with Lena Dunham and Lena can point one out. 


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Kirsten Dunsts Breasts Weren’t Nominated For An Emmy And That’s A Travesty
Kirsten Dunsts Breasts Weren’t Nominated For An Emmy And That’s A Travesty


Transparent director Jill Soloway screamed, “topple the patriarchy!,” at the end of her acceptance speech at the Emmys last night, then the In Memoriam part of the show was a bunch of old men, so I didn’t know if I should be sad or not. Not trying to be problematic, so let me know. I only bring this up because I’m about to objectify Kirsten Dunst. We can topple later or whatever. But yeah, Kirsten Dunst was pretty damn great in Fargo, and her tits also remain pretty damn great. Her face has always been kinda weird, but again, titties. The titties are her constant. You might point out that they sag, but then I might point out that they’re real so that happens. I realize the anime you jerk off to doesn’t really educate you as well as it should.


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The Emmys Were Last Night
The Emmys Were Last Night


The NFL Network kept telling me Aaron Rodgers is the best QB in the league, but somehow he managed to lose to Sam Bradford who had Adrian Peterson watching from the locker room. Long story short, I was flipping to the 2016 Primetime Emmys during commercial breaks. You can find the complete list of Emmy nominees and winners by clicking on that link thing if you want, but all you really need to know is that Rami Malek won on his first try for Mr. Robot, Tatiana Maslany finally fucking won for Orphan Black, Best Drama Series went to Game Of Thrones, and VEEP and The People v OJ Simpson won basically everything else. What didn’t win? All the “diversity” jokes. And Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer didn’t win shit. I’m perfectly fine with all this except I think Taylor Swift should have been nominated in at least one drama category. Missed opportunity. 


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The 65th Emmy Awards Were Last Night

 

As my headline clearly points out, the 65th Emmys were last night. Here are some winners you may care about. And if you're don't punch your nearest coworker over the fact that Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul were robbed, I say unto you: Get away from me you workers of lawlessness. I never knew you.

 

OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES
Breaking Bad, AMC

OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES
Modern Family, ABC

LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Claire Danes, Homeland, Showtime

LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom, HBO

LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep, HBO

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Bobby Cannavale, Boardwalk Empire, HBO

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad, AMC

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Tony Hale, Veep, HBO

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie, Showtime

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