Elon Musk Reportedly Dumped Amber Heard Because She Lied All The Time
Elon Musk Reportedly Dumped Amber Heard Because She Lied All The Time

 

I was gonna write about how Tina Fey said we should all stress eat cake to fight white supremacy and racism, but liberal white ladies have been doing that for aw while and I don’t want to start and be accused of cultural appropriation. Besides, they’re great at. Nothing quite says neoliberalism quite like, “let them eat cake”. Anyway, here’s about Amber Heard/Elon Musk story that I know you were dying to know about. It comes from Star (via Cele|bitchy). Apparently Amber Heard lies a lot.

Elon Musk said he and Amber Heard split up because of the “distance,” but sources claim it was close encounters of the come-hither kind that sealed her fate. “Elon caught Amber in countless lies. She would tell him she was having a quiet night in when she was actually out clubbing,” says a source, adding that Amber didn’t act like she had a boyfriend while she was in Australia. “But Amber would always drop Elon’s name when she went shopping.” Friends did try to warn Musk that Johnny Depp’s ex-wife was a golddigger dressed in hand-me-downs. “Elon had to learn that the hard way,” says the pal. “He couldn’t see it at first, but Amber was just using him.”

Amber Heard likes wealthy white men and not so wealthy white women depending on the mood she’s in, so maybe she’s trying to tear down the patriarchy by making them go insane or having a judge make them donate all their money to charity? Noble, but that seem overly complicated.

 

banner pic = Instagram

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Elon Musk Dumped Amber Heard
Elon Musk Dumped Amber Heard



Amber Heard wanted $50K a month from Johnny Depp, but started dating Elon Musk who is worth $12B. That come up was short lived, because Musk dumped her last week.

Heard, 31, is ‘devastated’ after tech tycoon Elon Musk ended their year-long romance. Last night a source told The Mail on Sunday: ‘It’s all over between Amber and Elon and she’s devastated. It was his decision. ‘He ended it a week ago. He’d heard certain things about her behaviour that didn’t sit well with him.  ‘Amber can be very manipulative and selfish. Elon’s back in LA while she’s licking her wounds in Australia.’

Two thing you can believe at the same time: 1.) Johnny Depp abused Amber Heard 2.) Amber Heard is a manipulative asshole. You can believe those to things remembering how their divorce went down. And that’s ok. Maybe that’s her thing. She’s a hot blonde and I assume hot blondes think that will work for them. But for unfortunately for Amber, she has to cancel her plan to be the first person to spend money on Mars. She’ll just have to be okay with being in Justice League, which from what I’ve heard, already has a 23% on Rotten Tomatoes.



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Amber Heard And Elon Musk Are Official
Amber Heard And Elon Musk Are Official

 

Amber Heard is bisexual, but can’t be in relationships with women because women earn 70% of what men make, so after being rumored to be dating Mars guy, Elon Musk, they made it Instagram and paparazzi official this weekend. Elon Musk is very rich and has almost realistic hair plugs. He also has 5 kids, so Amber better figure out a plan for that before it gets too serious.

 

A post shared by Elon Musk (@elonmusk) on

 

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