Ellen Page Is A Lesbian
Ellen Page Is A Lesbian

 

So I guess now it's official. Ellen Page is a lesbian. THR reports:

The star of the upcoming X-Men: Days of Future Past made the announcement in a moving and deeply personal speech delivered at Time to Thrive, a conference to promote the welfare of LGBT youth held at Bally's Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nev. "I'm here today because I am gay," Page, 26, told the audience, "and because maybe I can make a difference, to help others have an easier and more hopeful time. Regardless, for me, I feel a personal obligation and a social responsibility. "I am tired of hiding and I am tired of lying by omission," Page proudly and defiantly declared. "I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered and my relationships suffered. And I'm standing here today, with all of you, on the other side of all that pain." Page first shared the inner turmoil she's felt since she was thrust into the Hollywood limelight following the blockbuster success of 2007's Juno. "It's weird because here I am, an actress, representing — at least in some sense — an industry that places crushing standards on all of us," Page said. "Not just young people, but everyone. Standards of beauty, of a good life, of success — standards that, I hate to admit, have affected me.

If you're one of those people who think gays should keep this to themselves and you find it uncessary for them to come out, first, you're part of the problem, and second, please be real with your reasons for feeling that way. But, like, didn't we all kinda assume Ellen Page was a lesbian like 8 years ago? The patriarchy would have you believe Cinemax lesbians exists, but trust me on this, Cinemax lesbians don't exist. Cinemax lesbians only exist when two girls make out at a club for free drinks and attention. In reality, if you were to build the perfect ledbian in a lab, it would look like Elle Page. Or Ellen Degeneres. Or Justin Bieber. Basically if you meet someone named Ellen from Canada, just assume they're a lesbian.

 

 

Based on this video alone, Ellen Page is one of the greatest human beings who ever existed:

 

 

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Ellen Page Is A Lesbian

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Granted, the real way to out a closet homosexual is to viciously hound them on your website for months and draw cum and cocks coming out of their mouth until they finally break and release a statement. Then after their statement, you can get all pious about it and claim you did it for the betterment for the gay community, when in reality you’re a starfucking internet troll who would suck a horse’s dick if it had enough glitter on it and could get you a TV deal. Or Perez Hilton, for short. Apparently you can just write articles about someone being gay, too. You know, like this actual journalist did. V-Generations (via ONTD) reports:

June was called the “Pride Month” and we saw some really great developments like the New York same-sex marriage legalization. Now, New York has their first married gay couple. Additionally, the United Nations has passed a resolution for gay rights. But where are the Hollywood actors? Don’t they always claim to be outspoken for good causes? Where are all the left wing, liberal artists speaking out for the oppressed gay minority? I tell you where they are. They are hiding in their closets making lucrative business deals like Ellen Page. The comic book team the ‘X-MEN’ always served as a metaphor for an oppressed minority like gay people or Jews. ‘X-Men Generation Hope’ issue Nr. 9 deals with the ongoing problem of Gay-Teen suicide, inspired by the real events. Ironically, Page has become famous playing Kitty Pryde, a member of the X-MEN. Page claims to “believe in truth” and to stand for what she believes in. But like many other actors she hides behind her lawyer and manager deep in the closet, while gay teenagers struggle to survive. I think I gave Ellen Page a decent chance to come out with the truth. Two months ago, I mentioned her in my LGBT article and made it pretty clear what she had to do. (Yes, she knows about this site.) In times like these when young gay people commit suicide out of fear of rejection, role models are needed. The gravity of the situation doesn’t ask for passive hiding but active fighting. What will Ellen Page’s choice be?” Last month she was seen with Clea DuVall in Montreal. I wasn’t sure if these pictures were staged and Ellen Page’s management called the paparazzi or not. Montreal isn’t really known to be a paparazzi hotspot. As some readers pointed out, the real reason for the paparazzi gathering in Montreal was the visitation of the Royals. So, no staged pictures. Page is still hiding. I honestly have enough of this Hollywood nonsense. Using charities, NGOs or any good cause for personal business gains and an improved public image is despicable. Pretending to stand for something but ultimately running away from it is an act of cowardice and could be harmful for many.

I wish I could say this story was shocking, but it’s Ellen Page. If you could win prizes at the fair, they would purposely keep her out of the “Spot The Lesbian” game. Unlike Amber Heard. I mean, look at the banner picture. Ellen Page is basically Jeremy Renner in The Hurt Locker if The Hurt Locker was about the United States Army Penis Ordnance Disposal team.

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Ellen Page Isn’t Helping



If you’re a fan of comedy you probably don’t know this, but SNL is still on the air. Now that’s been cleared up, here’s a skit with this weekend’s host, Ellen Page, that supposedly makes fun of all the lesbian rumors surrounding her as of late. Not that I really care. She’s 21 and looks 12. Imagining her licking on some chick doesn’t really rank that high on my list of things to do. In fact, I asked my penis what he thought about all this and he blue screened.

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