Eliza Dushku Has A Stalker



Um, yeah. ONTD says:
A Shoreview man obsessed with TV star Eliza Dushku drove to California with plans to deliver four scripts he had written to her at a charity benefit. The scripts, written over many months, were for her canceled science fiction drama “Dollhouse”. The charity event was canceled and the man was reported missing but later found somewhere in L.A. Tore Simonsen, 37, was a successful lawyer until he took off to L.A behind his family’s back. He was flown home by his sister however his car is still somewhere in L.A. with the scripts still in the trunk. The man now lives in a homeless shelter in Minneapolis and has made it his mission to save Eliza Dushku’s show “Dollhouse”. He is currently involved in some legal drama as he sought an order against Catholic Charities homeless shelter — they wouldn’t allow him to hand out Dollhouse fliers or to take their picture. Catholic Charities requested a continuance, which the judge granted, so the judicial hearing is delayed until Feb. 11.

I’ve never seen an episode of Dollhouse, but apparently it emits an insidious transmission through your TV that turns you into dumbass. That’s why my foster mother only lets me watch porn. She even makes me cookies before we watch it. I don’t know what’s in them but they make me really sleepy because she knows I don’t like naptime. She loves me so much!

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Halloween Was Boring, Unattractive



I’m not sure what the hell was going on for Halloween this year, but dear God it was boring. The McCord Sisters of Eastwick probably left the house thinking they were hot, but that would only happen if they had been literally set on fire. Ashley Greene can’t wait to get in a bikini or naked (NSFW) every other day of the year so it’s a little surprising that she dressed up as a peacock cocktail waitress. Seriously, how am I supposed to masturbate to this? I mean, I’ve done it to Animal Planet before, but my therapist says that it can be healthy. I think he might be just saying that. Blake Lively is one of hottest pieces on television right now, but she looks like something in one of my grandpa’s magazines. Eliza Dushku and Rick Fox (?) went as a some sort of vampire Bonnie and Clyde. I’m not sure why vampires would need inaccurate automatic weapons to rob a bank, but then again, I wasn’t high when I picked out my costume. The usually smoking hot Jessica Alba went as a lost Mexican child who never stops asking questions, and although I appreciate her bending over, how am I supposed to guess what’s in her backpack? How should I know?! You packed the fucking thing !!

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Eliza Dushku Does Complex



I’m not a real big fan of Eliza Dushka, mostly because her face is kinda weird and her name sounds like a Sith Lord, but I’m all for chicks who deal with their daddy issues and desperate need for fame by posing in bikinis in magazines. So, I guess I’m a fan of Eliza Dushku today. I’m also a fan of anal sex with your girlfriend. Sorry about that, man. We did talk about you afterward while she made me a sandwich if that makes you feel any better.

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Maxim’s Hot 100 List: Pretty Hot

I’m with the Maxim Hot 100 List 2009 as far as their top pick: Olivia Wilde. Mmmm. How’d I love to lick those boots, and I’m not even a foot fetishist.

Beyond Wilde, the list gets a little wonky, but the hearts of the Maxim staff are in the right place. Though it looks like they brought one to many of the idiot editors of Blender over to the flagship mag when the latter bit the dust.

That’s right, I didn’t like the Blender editors. That’s the joke.

1. Olivia Wilde
2. Megan Fox
3. Bar Refaeli
4. Malin Akerman
5. Mila Kunis
6. Eliza Dusku
7. Adriana Lima
8. Rihanna
9. Jordana Brewster
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt

These are mostly SPOILER ALERTS, since the full list won’t be revealed until the mag hits newsstands this Wednesday.

You can see numbers 31-100 at the Maxim site HERE.

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Links Served With Naked Chicks

Allure is putting naked celebs in the pages of Allure. Finally, the mag is alluring. [Egotastic]

The story of Lil Wayne losing his virginity while playing board games makes me understand Lil Wayne a lil better. [BestWeekEver]

10 Most Outrageous See-Throughs. End of pitch. [CityRag]

Blake Lively thinks she looks like a tranny. I usually disagree. Usually. [ImNotObsessed]

Oh, he was hiding MURDER behind that wall of sound? [FatBackMedia]

It’s Kelly Ripa’s “O Face.” Though you might realize you’ve seen it before…Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

At this point, poor Bronx Mowgli is gonna live his life on Twitter. [ICYDK]

Hugh Jackman’s hair wants to look like Wolverine’s hair even though it’s been cut. [LaineyGossip]

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Spirit Awards: Highlights

Yesterday was the Film Independent Spirit Awards, where The Wrestler grabbed top honors and added another Best Actor win for Mickey Rourke who will go head-to-head with Sean Penn tonight. But starting this off with tales of bloated-corpse Rourke and Sean Penn as gay activist Harvey Milk is sort of in the wrong direction.

I’ve collected the highlights of last night’s female attendees including Jessica Alba looking like a 30-year-old babysitter, Elizabeth Banks looking kinda busted, Cameron Diaz looking like a wax-sculpture, Eliza Dushku and her round face, Lucy Liu in pink, Penelope Cruz in brown and a surprise win for hottest by re-emerging starlet Claire Danes, who manages to look better than her contemporaries, somehow. What’s that girl been eating?

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ELINKa Dusku and Her Sexy Promos

Eliza Dusku‘s Dollhouse premieres next Friday, so it’s time to dump her sexy promo outtakes onto the internet! [BadandUgly]

Dan Ackroyd‘s daughter has a tramp stamp. Site NSFW [TaxiDriverMovie]

A guy named Joe Satriani is going to “ambush” Coldplay in New York. They always needed a good ambushing. [LaineyGossip]

Kristen Stewart has pot-leafs for nipples. [Egotastic]

Charlize Theron‘s nipples could probably do the job of laser-etchings. [CityRag]

Like everything else in Toys “R” Us, Jordan’s boobs are cheap and plastic. Site NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]

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It’s A Hot Spring TV Season

Two shows you should know about, simply because you get to see hot women in motion: Friday Night Lights with Minka Kelly is on NBC on Fridays, and starting February 13th, Eliza Dushku will be on Fox for Joss Wheadon’s Dollhouse.

“Dave,” you’re probably not asking, “are you mentioning the TV shows completely arbitrarily so you can post pictures of these hot starlets?”

You snarky genius, I reply.

Here’s FNL’s Minka in Cosmopolitan and Dollhouse’s Eliza in In Style. Both lookin’ hot, so who cares if they are on TV?

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Eliza Dushku, Fox, At Fox


Just tell yourself it’s bad lighting, when you think that Eliza Dushku is plastic.

She’s running around, switching between looking like a diplomat and looking exactly like my Eliza Dushu sex doll (Elicka Tushku) without much in between. Dusku is out pimping Dollhouse, her Fox series that starts February 13th, where she plays Echo, a character who has her memory wiped so she can be reprogrammed to be a super spy or a whore. Personally, I’d like my Eliza Dushku to love me, cook for me, and somehow make marshmallows with her body. I don’t know why I want that last part. Maybe because I don’t like being the only one held responsible for my sticky, white goo all the time.

Diplomat:

Topless:

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Eliza Dushku is Topless



If you like to watch predictable straight-to-DVD thrillers about lame serial killers and cops who play by their own rules, you’ve probably already seen The Alphabet Killer. If you haven’t, here’s Eliza Dushku’s topless scene. I’m not really sure what part this is, but I have feeling that black guy might get arrested.

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