Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week is going on in Berlin right now, and I’ sure that’s cool or whatever, but Doutzen Kroes wore this dress and stuck out her butt a lot. I’m not sure what a German automobile manufacturer and a week of looking at $800 t-shirts has do with her butt, but please know that this post is about her butt and not those two other things.
Doutzen Kroes is pregant with her second child, and to let us all know, she posted this on her Instagram. To reiterate, Doutzen Kroes has only been pregnant twice. I don't know how good my math is here, but I could get her pregnant twice in like 2 hours minutes. I have a pretty fast recovery time. Thanks, Progenex!
Granted, you want look like Doutzen Kroes when you wear it, but she still wants you to buy the new Victoria's Secret sports bra. I mean, that's why you bought that gym membership on January 3rd, right? Oh, then you bought that ice cream and those Doritos the next day. Nevermind. I honestly don't even know why I bother you. Jesus Christ you're such a disappointment.
pic source = Instagram
I could spend a lot of time writing text you won’t bother reading, so instead I’d just like to wish all the ladies out there Happy Eating Disorder Day!
Doutzen Kroes was doing a shoot in a bikini yesterday, and I know, I know. She’s not a “real woman” and “needs to eat”. Btw, how are those chocolate pork rinds? Tasty I bet. Mmmm, pork rinds.
I know, I know, this bitch again. It’s a slow news day. From Radar Online:
The Senate’s historic vote to repeal the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy has led to an outpouring of Twitter support from celebs, with Lady Gaga leading the cheers.
“Can’t hold back the tears + pride,” Lady G Tweeted. “We did it!! Our voice was heard + today the Senate REPEALED DADT. A triumph for equality after 17 YEARS.”
The singer has been has been among the most vocal critics of DADT. She frequently railed against it during concerts and even released a video
demanding the repeal.
Kathy Griffin wrote, “FINALLY! Equality IS coming.”
Ellen DeGeneres Tweeted, “Thank you Senators for pushing us one step closer towards full equality.”
And Ricky Martin added his voice, Tweeting ” DADT is gone! Historical!”
So some unattractive public figures (and one goodlooking one who enjoys golden showers) endorsed a bill benefiting the demographics that hurl the most money at them. I just fell asleep writing this because it feels like I’m watching CSPAN.
Because I too like
exploiting our fanbase for site hits seeing you happy, here is Doutzen Kroes in lingerie. We did it!
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Oh, hey there mom of the year. Page Six reports:
Coming motherhood hasn’t slowed Doutzen Kroes. The five-months pregnant Victoria’s Secret model stayed out past 2 a.m. at Provocateur Friday night to support her boyfriend, DJ Sunnery James, who spun in the nightclub.
Please. It’s Doutzen Kroes. If that’s your mom, it’s hard to fuck it up. You could inject her umbilical cord with Glenfiddich and SARS and this baby will still come out doing a pageant wave.
Every time I say Doutzen Kroes name, I can’t help but sing it to this, but more to the point, here she in a new Victoria’s Secret shoot. Oh, and she’s pregnant now. Whoever the guy is, I can’t say I blame him. American soldiers pulled out of Iraq faster than I’d pull out of this chick.
More pics of Doutzen Kroes in St. Barts hit online, so of course, I’m posting them. Not for any reason in particular. Because that stopped being a reason about 10 minutes ago. So, if you would be so kind, let’s all stop and have a moment of silence for my penis.