Emma Thompson Said Donald Trump Asked Her Out Once The Day After Her Divorce
Emma Thompson Said Donald Trump Asked Her Out Once The Day After Her Divorce

 

Emma Thompson was a guest on some talk show called Skavlan, and said Donald Trump asked her out while she was shooting the 1998 film Primary Colors in NYC. Her divorce from Kenneth Branagh was finalized the day before. Shooters shoot. Shoot your shot, Donald.

“I was in my trailer, and it was on the Universal lot. And I had just been divorced (from actor-producer Kenneth Branagh), and my decree absolute had just come through like the day before,” Thompson explained. “Anyway, so the phone rings in my trailer, which it’s never done before. I look at it, and it’s, like, weird. It’s like a moose has just entered in my trailer. …Anyway, so, I lift up the phone: ‘Hi, it’s Donald Trump here.’ I said, ‘Really? What? Can I help you?’ And he said, ‘Yeah, I just, you know, I wondered if I could offer you some accommodation in one of my Trump Towers. They’re really comfortable.'” Thompson says she then asked, “Why are you offering me somewhere to stay in my trailer?” According to her account, Trump answered: “Well, you know, I think we would get on very well. Maybe we could have dinner sometime?” “I didn’t know what to do with myself,” she said to host Fredrik Skavlan. “I was on my own, and I just said, ‘OK, well, um, I’ll get back to you. Thank you so much for the offer.'”

I’d be okay in a world where Emma Thompson was the First Lady, but she fucked that up. I’d also be happy with Casey Anthony as First Lady where she could use her talents for good.

 

 

#fbf Bae

 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Stephen Colbert Roasted The Shit Out Of Rachel Maddow Last Night
Stephen Colbert Roasted The Shit Out Of Rachel Maddow Last Night

 

By now you’ve probably heard about that Rachel Maddow thing. It wasn’t good. Let’s recap then get to Stephen Colbert taking a shit all over it.
(more…)

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Lana Del Rey Is One Of The Witches Casting An Impeachment Spell On Trump
Lana Del Rey Is One Of The Witches Casting An Impeachment Spell On Trump

 

So you know those witches who are casting spells to bind Donald Trump until he’s impeached? Yeah, Lana Del Rey is one of them. 2017 is great.

(more…)

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Melissa McCarthy Has Donald Trump Shook
Melissa McCarthy Has Donald Trump Shook

 

There’s no way Donald Trump doesn’t have a small dick, because his obsession with SNL would be funny if it wasn’t depressing. You can count on a tweet storm after every episode, but weirdly, it didn’t happen this week. Why? Trump is upset Sean Spicer was portrayed by Melissa McCarthy – a woman. Good times.

More than being lampooned as a press secretary who makes up facts, it was Spicer’s portrayal by a woman that was most problematic in the president’s eyes, according to sources close to him. And the unflattering send-up by a female comedian was not considered helpful for Spicer’s longevity in the grueling, high-profile job in which he has struggled to strike the right balance between representing an administration that considers the media the “opposition party,” and developing a functional relationship with the press. “Trump doesn’t like his people to look weak,” added a top Trump donor.

To recap: Sean Spicer might get fired, not because he sucks at job, but because the President of The United states is upset his Press Secretary got roasted by a woman on a weekly comedy show.  Maybe he should build a wall around his emotions.

 

 

Here’s Ivanka Trump because she’s hot.

 

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Chelsea Handler Blames The Kardashians For Trump Getting Elected
Chelsea Handler Blames The Kardashians For Trump Getting Elected

 

I don’t know how Chelsea Handler makes her face looks so dry and moist at the same time, but that’s for another time. This time its about her interview in Vanity Fair where she blamed Trump’s win on the Kardashians. Sure.

Stop covering [Trump] so much. They were treating him as an entertainer first. It was a reality show. We’ve turned into a reality show. I blame the Kardashians, personally; the beginning of the end was the Kardashians. The way these people have blown up and don’t go away — it’s surreal. Everyone is for sale. We’re looking at a man that gets mad at Vanity Fair for reviewing his restaurant poorly. By the way, have you ever been to that restaurant? It’s the biggest piece of garbage you’ve ever walked into. That place looks like a Southwest airport lounge. It’s the worst.

My fellow liberal friends are still pretty confused as to why Trump won. Apparently everyone who voted for Trump is either a racist or hate women. The media they loved that told them that Hilary was going to win by every conceivable metric and laughed off a Trump win, is now fake news. Good times. For people who claim to not like labels, us liberals really like to remind everyone of a single defining characteristic before everyone’s name. Did you know that Hilary Clinton was a woman? Me either. I was just as shocked to learn as you that a woman could also be a horrifically bad candidate. Remember when we called George Bush was a racist? And John McCain? And Mitt Romney? And basically everyone else who disagreed with them. Take Trump’s immigration stance. It’s “dangerous rhetoric” or whatever, but he still needs to deport more than 3M people to beat Obama’s high score. That’ll be a while. And if you want to move to Canada, go to the border with just a dream and see how far that gets you (Hint: not far). Anyway, I’ve kinda went on tangent here and distracted you from the fact that the Kardashians are being blamed for something they had no control over. I always welcome that.

 

Not sure how Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner were that influential in determining an election, but it was 2016 and the year of realizing stuff so maybe Kylie should have made Hillary realize she was a cyborg Cersei.

 

 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Kanye West Had A Meeting With Donald Trump Today At Trump Tower
Kanye West Had A Meeting With Donald Trump Today At Trump Tower

 

George Bush didn’t care about black people. Apparently Donald Trump does. So Kanye West just walked into Trump Tower today to meet with Trump and so Trump could have a photographic evidence of him standing next to a black person the youth of today enjoy. God help us all.
(more…)

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Kanye West: ‘I Would’ve Voted For Trump’
Kanye West: ‘I Would’ve Voted For Trump’

 

Half the country didn’t vote, and apparently Kanye West was one of them. But….

Kanye West drew boos Thursday during a concert in San Jose, California, after telling the audience that, while he didn’t vote in the 2016 presidential election, he “would’ve voted for Trump.” The rapper reportedly stopped the concert and delivered a 25-minute political rant, shocking the crowd with his endorsement of the Republican president-elect. West admitted “there’s things [he] liked about Trump’s campaign … There’s methods, non-political methods to speaking, that I like – that I feel were very futuristic. That style and that method of communication has proven that it can be a politically correct way of communication. And I fuck with that.”

I for one am pretty shocked to learn that Kanye West is a xenophobic, sexist,  and misogynistic white supremacist who refuses to acquire job skills that allow him to compete in a global economy with the rest of America who can afford a college education. Doesn’t seem like the type I hear about on Twitter.  I don’t if if Secretary Of Twitter is a position still open in Trump’s cabinet or not, but I’d like to publicly endorse Kanye.

 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Trump Said Tom Brady Voted For Him, Gisele Said He Didn’t
Trump Said Tom Brady Voted For Him, Gisele Said He Didn’t

 

I realize it’s hard trying to keep up with lies Donald Trump tells on pretty much a daily basis, but apparently he told a crowd in New Hampshire that Tom Brady voted for him. Not sure how that translates into him winning Miami.

 

 

Then almost immediately, Gisele took off her Uggs because Tom needed to borrow them and went on Instagram to deny her husband voted for Trump.

Gisele Bündchen — wife of NFL superstar Tom Brady — flatly rejected Donald Trump’s assertion that her husband had voted for the GOP nominee. “NO!” the Brazilian model told an Instagram user who asked if it were true that she and Brady were backing the brash billionaire.

Trump also claimed Bill Belichick wrote him a letter. Not that you need another reason to hate Belichick, but that’s actually true. Belichick did write Trump a letter. He used the word “tremendous” twice and “amazing” once. He didn’t give him tips on how to rig the elections, so that’s cool.

Related Posts:

Tags: , ,
Trump Fans Booed And Walked Out Of An Amy Schumer Show
Trump Fans Booed And Walked Out Of An Amy Schumer Show

 

Just so this makes sense, Amy Schumer‘s comedy show was in Florida.

About 200 people walked out of Amy Schumer’s comedy show at the Amalie Arena in Tampa Sunday when she mocked Donald Trump as, among other things, an “orange, sexual-assaulting, fake- college-starting monster.” Loud booing from a vocal, but small minority of the arena crowd started about halfway through the show, when Schumer’s raunchy humor veered into more topical matters topics, including gun control and the presidential election…She made it clear she doesn’t understand how people can support Trump. At one point, she asked for a Trump supporter – preferably one with sleeves, she told security personnel – to join her up on stage to explain their enthusiasm for Trump. One fellow did, but he said he was voting for Trump mainly because he doesn’t trust Clinton. When some audience members booed, the actor/comedian invited them to leave and also asked security to remove anyone booing.

Just like their Supreme Leader, when faced with even the slightest bit of criticism, Trump stans have an unhinged meltdown, but also, Amy Schumer is a horrible person. I’m voting third party on this one. Nope. Still not Gary Johnson. Dude needs to just eat the other half of his brownie and go to sleep.

 

UPDATE: The video was removed from YouTube. It’s a global conspiracy and the media is trying to rig the election or something.

 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Donald Trump Fired Khloe Kardashian From ‘The Apprentice’ For Being Fat And Ugly

We already know what Donald Trump is about when it comes to the ladies, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that he fired Khloe Kardashian from the 2009 season of The Apprentice for being Khloe Kardashian. If you’re wondering why she was on the show, remember it was 2009, and Kris Jenner thought all her daughters would be economically viable. It was a simpler time.

According to sources on the show, Trump complained to producers about Kardashian’s looks and itched to have her removed from the show. “He basically wanted to just get rid of her,” an editor on the show recalled. “He called her a ‘piglet.’” The editor said that Trump asked: “What is this? We can’t even get the hot one?” ― in reference to Kardashian’s sister, Kim. A second source at “The Apprentice” confirmed the incident, using similar words to describe what Trump said about the Kardashians. “He said: ‘Why don’t we fire Khloe? She is a fat piglet. Why did we get the ugly Kardashian?’”  A third source, another editor, recalled the firing as being notable because of how personal Trump made it. “When they fired [her], it wasn’t on merit,” the editor said. “It was on him not liking her.” The editor said that Trump went to the staff and asked: “What’s the reason we can get her off [the show]?”

This is normally the part where I write my thoughts on whatever the article is, but what do you want me to say? No argument here.

 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,