Look, I never really understood the whole Dita Von Teese thing. She looks like a vampire that just got back from Glamour Shots and she’s known for doing that thing that my grandfather jacked off to back in the 40’s. And she willingly banged Marilyn Manson. But here she is at he Heart Truth’s Red Dress Collection in NYC, where apparently the only criteria to show up was to wear a red dress. So yeah, there’s that.
Btw, the melanin-proficient chick in the banner pic is Camila Alves, or as she’s known in some circles “Matthew McConaughey’s wife”.
There was frantic negotiating to land Nicole Richie a $100,000 exclusive magazine deal ahead of her big wedding to Joel Madden today. Reps for Richie — who recently took a photographer to court to protect her and her children’s privacy — were as late as yesterday “playing the weekly magazines against each other to drive up the price,” an insider said. Sources tell us that the reps for Richie, who said she planned to give the money to charity, had agreed to an OK! bid earlier in the week to make her a “cover chip” — a less important story referenced with a small photo on the front page — but then went to People to negotiate a full cover.
Nicole Richie is famous because she’s the daughter of a Commodore with a Jheri curl (more…)
A lesbian porn video featuring Dita Von Teese has finally hit online. Yippeeee!! The Sun reports:
Explicit clips of the 35-year-old being spanked and pleasured with a bizarre sex toy by women have emerged online. It is a blow to Wonderbra who only launched her as the new face of their famous push-up bra last month. They hoped Dita – real name Heather Sweet – would enhance the company’s clean-cut image by designing her own limited edition collection. But the sleazy flick – shot before she rose to fame – will shock lingerie bosses. In one scene the former wife of goth rocker MARILYN MANSON romps with a leggy beauty with a sex toy. In another she cavorts with two stunners in corsets.”
I wish all women would be as strong and independent as Dita Von Teese. And when I say “strong and independent” I don’t mean by voting, but rather “star in lesbian porn videos.” Will it solve all the world’s problems? No. Is it a start? Why yes, my friends. Yes. I do believe it is.
Check out the Dita Von Teese sex tape after the jump. (Warning: Very explicit and very NSFW):
Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are dating again [Dlisted] Mariah Carey’s cleavage is ho’licious [Hollywood Tuna] Jessica Alba does some baby shopping [Popsugar] Sarah Jessica Parker is pissing off her co-stars [Hollywood Rag] Hayden Panettiere musters up some cleavage [Popoholic] Jamie Lynn Spears is phat [Just Jared] Charlize Theron and Teri Hatcher fight it out [City Rag] Hulk Hogan is dating is daughter’s twin (NSFW ads) [Drunken Stepfather] Lara Flynn Boyle’s terrifying face [Egotastic] Janice Dickinson being Janice Dickinson [ASL] F1 pres. Max Mosley’s sex tape leak [Taxi Driver Movie] Walks Like a Duck, Talks Like Bakhtin (Trading Places) [Pajiba]
Dita Von Teese in some crazy bodypaint photoshoot (NSFW):
Page Six reports that Jeremy Piven is basically stalking Dita Von Teese:
The “Entourage” star picked out two black satin, sequined mini-dresses from the Be Seduced line for a woman he told a swag-suite clerk he had a crush on. But as he browsed at Kari Feinstein’s suite at Social Hollywood in LA last week, he was forced to come clean about the identity of his “brunette and curvy” lady friend because he didn’t know her size. He finally told the clerk the dresses were for Von Teese, the burlesque-dancing ex-wife of Marilyn Manson. “He said he likes her, but it’s not official yet,” the employee told Page Six. Piven’s rep said the duo are “not dating. He’s busy shooting a movie.” But apparently he’s not too busy to flirt. Von Teese’s lawyer, Keith Fink, told us Piven has seen her performance and he shyly said hello to her when he ran into her at an LA newsstand right before he bought the dresses. “She is single, and she’s not dating, so he should step up to the plate because there’s a lot of guys interested,” said Fink.”
Wait, Jeremy Piven stared at the ground and mumbled hello to Dita Von Teese after he “ran into” her on the street, then he bought her some dresses? Um, ok. Yeah. Because nothing says “I’m not creepy” like picking out clothes for your imaginary girlfriend. I wonder if this happened before or after he broke into her house and masturbated in her panty drawer. Probably before. From what people tell me, masturbating can make you pretty lazy.
In his new video, 38 year old Marilyn Manson dresses his girlfriend, 19 year old Evan Rachel Wood, as Lolita and has “real” sex with her. Heart-Shaped Glasses features Marilyn and Evan having sex, Evan having a fake orgasm, Evan rubbing her crotch while watching Manson perform and Evan covered in blood. About the “real sex” stuff:
Manson and Wood elected not to fake their intercourse. Though their naughty bits are concealed on-screen by bedclothes and each other’s bodies, the logistics of the shoot ensured the crew members had an intimate view of the proceedings: The video was originally intended to be shot in 3-D, meaning the couple’s writhings had to be shot from several different angles simultaneously. And just to be sure they got it right, Manson and Wood got it on three times for the cameras.”
Yes, this is all truly impressive. Glorifying pedophilia with Lolita references is super cool, Marilyn. Why you didn’t take it one step further and dress her up as Jon Benet Ramsey or Polly Klaas is beyond me. How about next time you impress us all with a “real” disappearing act, and take your trendy, pain in the ass, pseudo-nonconformist, Hot Topic shopping fans with you. Really, it would be a breath of fresh air if you did something different in your videos like, say, learn how to sing. At this point you should just suck it up and go on tour with Britney Spears.