Kate Hudson Is Banging Diplo, Possibly Dating Him Now
Kate Hudson Is Banging Diplo, Possibly Dating Him Now


BREAKING: Kate Hudson has a type. 

Kate Hudson has found her boy of summer: Diplo. “They are dating,” a source reveals a source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly.  The actress and the DJ, both 37, who exited NYC’s Met Gala together in May, connected in mid-July near Ibiza, Spain, the insider says.

Us Weekly was nice enough to add this at the end of the second paragraph in their article entitled, “Kate Hudson Is Dating Diplo“. 

(His rep denies the romance.)

Maybe that should have been in the first paragraph? Who knows. Last time I heard of Diplo, he was banging this. Look, if you’re a white guy and you’re in some sort of band or have a laptop that plays music to a room full of people on molly, Kate Hudson will bang you. Plain and simple. She might even get pregnant. Her ass looks like this at 37, and she wears stuff like this to DreamWorks Animation movie premieres. Kate Hudson is just down to smash at any time, and either you can keep up or you can’t. Deal with it. Also, I didn’t know this, but Diplo’s real name is Thomas Wesley Pentz. He sounds like he owns slaves or would like to own slaves at some point. Not sure why I felt the need to include his real name here, but I enjoy sharing things that I learn. For instance, Taco Bell’s new Triple Double Crunchwrap is well worth the $3.49 asking price. 


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Diplo Seems Pretty Mature
Diplo Seems Pretty Mature

 

Since Katy Perry‘s tits have infected his brain, Diplo started some shit with her sworn enemy, Taylor Swift, over Twitter then got smacked down by Lorde. That really should have been the end of it, but I guess Katy Perry told him he had to keep it going if he wanted to titty fuck her again, so her posted this pic on Instagram with the caption MY DICK GETS MORE HITS THEN TAYLOR SWIFT. All these chicks in this picture look like they were freed from a cargo tanker by the Coast Guard, yet he wants to make fun of Taylor Swift’s ass. I don’t know, it looks pretty lickable to me. I guess it’s just kinda hard to figure out who the girl is in this whole scenario.

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Lorde Says Katy Perry’s Boyfriend Has A Small Penis

Diplo (real name Thomas Pentz) is an American DJ and rapper, so off top you pretty much know he’s a douche. So, of course, that means Katy Perry will let him get his penis near her vagina that abandoned Christ and his teachings. Katy Perry also hates Taylor Swift, so what better way to plant a shade tree than to tell Diplo to make fun of the chick who sold 1.5M albums in it’s first week while your album sold 51,000 when it came out? Unfortunately for Diplo, Lorde saw it.

 

I guess you can’t blame Diplo for trying to keep his tiny penis in between Katy Perry’s rack at all costs, but maybe he should have used his million Twitter followers to support a better cause: fixing Katy Perry’s eye that looks like it’s floating in water. She probably uses a lot of sunscreen, because people would mistake her Forest Whitaker. Eye up here, Katy.

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Katy Perry Is Single. Again.
Katy Perry Is Single. Again.

 

About five minutes ago the Internet learned that Katy Perry was dating Diplo (an American DJ, not a type of yogurt), now they already split up because Diplo saw her boobs once and started picking out baby names.

Multiple sources tell In Touch the pair have split after a one-month courtship, and it's because the 35-year-old DJ decided to call things off. “Diplo broke up with her because she does not want to be in a serious relationship. She's doing OK and not too sad about it. They wanted different things," a friend of Katy's tells the mag. "She freaked out when he wanted to introduce her to his parents. She doesn’t want to get married again — at least not anytime soon. “She wants to date and he wanted something much more serious. It was too much, too soon."

Diplo. Dude. We've all been there, but a month? Bro. This chick just got out of a two-year relationship, and you wanted your parents to meet you two at Olive Garden for some breadsticks? C'mon now. She just wanted to show you her boobs and give it up once in a while, but you started making a remix of the Kay Jewelers jingle. Just so we're all clear, you willingly decided to stop seeing Katy Perry's boobs because Katy Perry didn't want your parents to see her face. Do your parents have to meet the chicks you jack off to while watching porn, too? What is your endgame here?

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Katy Perry Is Banging Diplo
Katy Perry Is Banging Diplo

 

Or not. I mean it's Page Six, so who knows.

Katy Perry has moved on from her split with John Mayer by hooking up with top music producer and DJ Diplo at Coachella. Perry, 29, was spotted with Diplo, 35 — the LA-based producer and recording artist who’s worked with Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, Usher and Bruno Mars — backstage at the music festival and also at a series of parties. A witness told Page Six: “Katy and Diplo hooked up at Coachella. They were together behind the main stage, where she had a tour bus or trailer, and a group of her friends were hanging out.” The music spy added, “It was very obvious that Katy and Diplo were together. They seemed inseparable and at one point they were seen getting onto her bus together.”

Hey. Cool. That's all I got. If people call you "Diplo" and you can still bang Katy Perry, I say go for it, man.

 

pic source = Instagram

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