Since the House of Lohan will fall unless one of them is drunk, I guess it's all up to Dina Lohan now. TMZ reports:
Dina Lohan was arrested for drunk driving in Long Island, NY last night … and cops say her blood alcohol level was more than TWICE the legal limit. Lindsay Lohan's 50-year-old mother was pulled over on the Northern State Parkway by New York State Police around 11 pm Thursday night … after she was allegedly going 77mph in a 55 in her white BMW. During the stop, cops say she appeared intoxicated — and tested her blood alcohol level, which registered at .20 — more than twice the legal limit of .08. According to officials, "Lohan made an allegation that she was injured during the course of the arrest" … but when medical personnel responded to the scene and determined she was fine, Dina "recanted her claim." Lohan was hauled to a nearby station where she was booked on two counts of driving while intoxicated and one count of speeding. After posing for a squinty-eyed mug shot, Lohan was released to a sober 3rd party. So far, no word on WHO picked up Lohan from the station. Lohan is due back in court later this month.
This wouldn't be a Lohan story without drama, so of course Dina made up a story that the police injured her and had to recant because only Lindsay can lie and get away with it. They should give her license back and tell her she can only drive at night in Colorado.
Last month, Lindsay Lohan moved back to NJ to live with her mom because she is completely broke, but since every time Lindsay touches something she immediately owes it money, this is now happening. Radar Online reports:
A process server delivered court docs to the actress and her mother Dina Thursday linked to Chase Bank’s intent to foreclose the $1.3 million Long Island mansion they live in, and we’ve got the details for you right here on RadarOnline.com. The Mean Girls star, 26, and her mercurial mom, 50, were both named in the notice which read, “Important Information Enclosed.” The process server who delivered the documents told the NY Post that the delivery was in regards to a mortgage issue involving the cash-strapped show biz family.
But don’t feel bad for Lindsay, she won’t be out on the street sucking cock, she’s doing that inside a lavish SoHo penthouse. TMZ reports:
Lindsay Lohan is NOT slumming it in NYC … quite the opposite, she’s livin’ pretty in a penthouse. There are reports out Lindsay is living at her mom Dina’s Long Island home, but it’s not true. We’ve learned she’s staying at her friend’s SoHo apartment. The friend is letting Lindsay stay there rent free until she finds a place of her own. And the friend hasn’t set any deadlines for moving.
“The friend”, huh? That’s all he is. A friend. A friend who is quality assurance tests on Lindsay’s new lip injections.
Because I grew up without a father and a hate myself, I live tweeted the premiere of Lindsay Lohan‘s Lifetime shitshow Liz & Dick last night, and let me be clear, after ten minutes in I would have rather watched a YouTube video of my own leg being amputated. There aren’t words in the dictionary to accurately describe how the wrap party just wasn’t held in a funeral home with framed pictures on caskets of everyone involved. Enter Michael Lohan:
“They know nothing about @lindsaylohan talent! She has more talent in her pinky then all of them together,” the proud dad tweeted. “You proved the critics wrong @LindsayLohan you are one of the best, so gifted, so amazing! Now apply it ALL! God bless you! And our family!”
Immediately after this tweet, Michael Lohan texted Lindsay to see if he could borrow $50. He also said he hated to ask, but the check cashing place in his laundromat isn’t open on Sundays.
Last week, Michael Lohan attempted to stage an intervention for Lindsay by randomly showing up to her house, but he didn’t make it in the door because Lindsay called the cops. Then her mom told Lindsay to get a protection order against her father then stole $100 from her purse. TMZ reports that Lindsay is now following her mom’s advice.
Lindsay Lohan is royally pissed at Michael Lohan and his “intervention” attempt — and now she’s 100% on board with obtaining an order of protection against him … just like her mom wanted all along. We broke the story … MiLo showed up to her house Friday — then refused to leave — and that was the last straw. Lindsay feels the ONLY way to stop her dad from pulling his crazy stunts is to get a judge involved … and she knows a lot of judges. We’re told LiLo will fly to NYC this week to meet with the rest of her family — and they’ll figure out how to get the stay away order.
Lindsay’s family believes Michael did this for attention, but as it turns out, the intervention was staged and planned by Michael and Lindsay’s ENTIRE MANAGEMENT TEAM, but the whole plan went to shit.
The emails are between Michael, Evan Hainey (LiLo’s manager) Dave Feldman (entertainment lawyer) and Shawn Holley (criminal defense lawyer). The emails were sent between Sept. 23rd and Oct. 18th (the day before Michael’s intervention). Michael emailed Evan and Shawn on Sept. 23rd, claiming he had been informed by several people Lindsay was “drinking between a bottle and a bottle and a half of vodka per day” adding, “I have seen the empty bottles and even cocaine in her room at Chateau.” Michael continues, “She is AGAIN, taking pills to keep her up and to sleep (adderall)!! I even know that she is and was drinking during work as far back as Liz and Dick!” Michael then pleads, “I am asking you to PLEASE PLEASE find a way to get her to LA toward the end of the first week of October or the beginning of the second so we can do an intervention and FINALLY end this madness!” LiLo’s manager Evan responds the same day to Michael and Shawn, “I am hearing the same things.” Evan continues, Lindsay will fly back to L.A. Oct 15th — and they should plan an intervention for that week. Lindsay’s lawyer Shawn responds unequivocally, “Let’s do it.” On Oct. 12th Michael and LiLo’s entertainment lawyer, Dave, sent multiple emails to each other — planning a conference call with a well-known interventionist, named Earl Hightower. Then on Oct. 18th (the day before the intervention) Michael sent an email to Evan … revealing a plan to confront LiLo at her Bev Hills home.According to text messages from Oct 19th, which we have also seen, the group decided Michael would confront LiLo FIRST … and everyone else would show up afterwards.
So to recap, her dad and management team are trying once again to save her life, and Dina and the rest of her family are protecting their asset. That’s basically all it comes down to really. I would be more interested but did you see that pass RGIII threw yesterday? What was that about?
Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan called 911 on her mom after they both got drunk and got into a fight over money and blow. Lindsay claimed that her mom owed her $40,000, and usually when Lindsay says something you believe the exact opposite. But as it turns out, she was telling the truth. TMZ reports:
According to court docs obtained by TMZ … JPMorgan Chase Bank filed documents in 2010 to foreclose on Dina’s Long Island home because she had fallen behind on payments. Now here’s where it gets interesting …The bank and Dina cut some sort of deal in which mama Lohan agreed to a new payment agreement that would prevent her home from going on the auction block. Sources close to Lindsay tell us … Dina didn’t ante up on her own — she got money from Lindsay to make the payments. We’re told Lindsay made payments that helped Dina dig out of the hole, but recently she fell behind again and Lindsay had to give her MORE bailout money — $40,000. And that’s the 40 grand that Lindsay and her mom were arguing over when things erupted in the limo early Wednesday.
For the first time in 7 years, this is actually the first time I actually feel bad for Lindsay. She’s basically a 25-year old Toddlers & Tiaras contestant who has been taken advantage of by her horrific parents who treated her like a friend and gave her a serial killer type sense of entitlement for the sole purpose of sucking her dry. They actually want her to be a raging alcoholic and cokehead who is constantly in trouble with the law. It keeps her paranoid and easier to control. In other news, fuck you Dina Lohan for making me care about Lindsay.
Since the attention from Dina’s Dr. Phil interview and Lindsay’s fake assault is over, they now have no other option but to start their own drama. See how that works? TMZ reports:
Lindsay Lohan and mama Dina were in a blowout, violent fight early this morning, that ended in a 911 call with cops rushing to the scene … TMZ has learned. It started last night when the duo went to a nightclub in New York City. Our photog says they left the club at around 4 AM and headed back to Dina’s home in Long Island. Lindsay and Dina started arguing in the car and it escalated when they got home. We’re told it became physical with Lindsay sustaining a cut on her leg. We’re also told there was property damage — including a broken bracelet of Lindsay’s — that occurred during the scuffle. …6:26 AM PDT — Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … cops took a Domestic Incident Report but no arrests were made. 6:11AM PDT — We’re told the 911 call was a domestic violence call. Sources say in one of the 911 calls to cops … the caller said Lindsay was being held against her will by Dina and the driver.
Whatever. We’re all gonna feel really stupid when we find out they were shooting their pilot for their new TLC show. Or VH1 show. Or hopefully they both die.
Yesterday Dina Lohan‘s promo for her Dr. Phil interview that will air on Monday, hit online and many people speculated that she was drunk. Because she was. But like any Lohan who is accused of something, she found a way to make it somebody else’s fault. TMZ reports:
But Dina is adamant she was sober … telling TMZ, “I don’t care what it looks like. I’m fine and I don’t care what anyone says.” She continues, “All people saw was two minutes edited of an hour long interview. Of course they cut it to make it interesting. That’s their job . I don’t blame them for doing that. Some of the comments were taken out of context but I’m fine. I’m fine.” Dina tells us the public shouldn’t judge her until they see the full interview — insisting she’s a “good mom” who’s always been there for her 4 kids, including her oldest daughter Lindsay Lohan. “I think the interview will be good. I know what I said and the facts are what the facts are. The proof is in the facts. The truth will set you free”
Yes, that’s it. The editors made her look drunk. I don’t know why we didn’t think of this before. If they can make Mitt Romney look like a soulless robot incapable of human emotion unless he sees a signed, blank check on the ground, why wouldn’t they make Dina Lohan look drunk? It’s all some left-wing conspiracy, I bet.
Joining Kris Jenner, Casey Anthony, and Constance Langdon on the Mt. Rushmore of the shittiest mothers in history, Dina Lohan will appear on Dr. Phil on 9/17. Here’s the promo. I’m surprised it doesn’t include her asking if Harpo Studios has any drink specials.
Since she’s been a constant enabler with the parenting skills of a Teen Mom possessed by a demon with a learning disability, Dina Lohan can no longer choose to look the other way and count money while her daughter spirals closer and closer to an early grave. She got to make shit happen, baby! Her hair isn’t gonna color itself, you know. TMZ reports:
Lindsay Lohan’s mom is trying to expose her own daughter’s dark secrets, blowing the lid off of Lindsay’s alleged drug and alcohol use in a memoir that she’s shopping around town — shopping it as recently as 2 weeks ago — as Lindsay was looking down the barrel of a hostile judge and a jail sentence. TMZ has obtained the draft of a prologue for Dina Lohan’s memoir, which Dina’s rep is shopping to people in the literary world. In the prologue, Dina writes: “I blamed her friends, her career and her handlers for an (sic) newfound lifestyle of partying excessively. Drinking, drugging and behaving irresponsibly became Lindsay’s way of daily living–and it tore me up inside.” Dina explains why she moved Lindsay from New York to L.A. at such a young age: “How could I deny my daughter the chance of a lifetime? How could I hold Lindsay back from her dream of becoming an actress? So, I listened to others and sent my daughter to Hollywood with a few pieces of luggage and a chaperone.” When Lindsay began acting crazy, accumulating mugshots and what not, Dina says she was helpless, claiming she couldn’t demand that Lindsay return to New York. Dina also confesses she was conflicted since she was both Lindsay’s parent and manager. Dina and her rep were soliciting meetings via email two weeks ago, to brainstorm how to make her book “a best seller.” Our sources say a ghost writer actually wrote the prologue after long sit-downs with Dina and her rep, and both were solidly on board.
It really is hard to feel sorry for a 25-year old adult who has been given chance after chance, but when you look at Lindsay’s parents, you realize this is exactly how she was gonna end up. The fact that her IMDB credits don’t include “Ass Assassin 34″ or “Ginger Bukkakke Gangbang Party 2: Red, White, & Blue” by now is probably the only rainbow wrapped around this story.
That advice is pretty much “Do the complete opposite of what you’re doing right now.” Radar Online reports:
“Dina Lohan’s relationship with her daughter Lindsay disturbs me,” Liv’s mom said… “But if my baby girl got that screwed up I would NOT allow to make her own decisions. I’m sorry! Anybody can think what they want. But I would abduct my child and I would make sure that I didn’t leave her side until she didn’t have those problems anymore. “But she also has to be responsible for her own actions. Her mother needs to start being a mother and not yes her to death. Bebe says she has a solution for Lindsay’s flailing career. “If Lindsay spent a year with me I could turn her around. I could have her winning her first Oscar in two years!” She also said that Lindsay needs to work on her appearance and put some weight on! “The first thing I would do is put 10 pounds on her. She needs a more kittenish quality. She’s looking too thin right now. That’s not a good look. And she also needs to go back to being a natural red head. The blonde hair doesn’t work. It ages her. She just needs the right people around her. She’s got it all man. She’s just around people who don’t get it.”
Bebe Buell presents some decent points, but Liv Tyler’s been nominated for more Razzies than Oscars, and it sounds like she wants Lindsay to transform into Christina Hendricks. Lindsay might have an easier time if Michael Lohan started a band and had her use the moves she learned in I Know Who Killed Me to regain her star power. Including the amputated leg.