Minka Kelly Probably Has A Lot Of Signed Baseballs

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Star of shows not many people watched Minka Kelly and manwhore/Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter are back together. Us Weekly reports:

Five months after announcing the end of their three-year relationship, the former couple reunited for a romantic vacation in Paris, France, over the holiday weekend. The New York Yankees player, 37, and the Charlie’s Angels star, 31, checked into the Pont Royal Hotel last week “and couldn’t stop showing how much they loved each other,” a source tells Us Weekly. “They are lovely people, and looked very happy with each other,” the source says. “A real perfect couple.” The notoriously private pair have kept the details of their summer breakup under wraps, but a second insider tells Us “they kept in touch” in the months that followed. Explains the insider: “I always had a hunch they would get back together.”

Surprise surprise. Derek Jeter has a habit of leaving and coming back to Minka Kelly. You know, a lot like his herpes outbreaks do to him.

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Derek Jeter Is Generous

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It’s good to see someone of wealth and influence giving back. You know, to sluts. The New York Post reports:

Yankee star Derek Jeter, one of New York’s most eligible hunks since his split with longtime gal pal Minka Kelly, is bedding a bevy of beauties in his Trump World Tower bachelor pad — and then coldly sending them home alone with gift baskets of autographed memorabilia. The Yank captain’s wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kiss-offs came to light when he mistakenly pulled the stunt twice on the same woman — forgetting she had been an earlier conquest, a pal told The Post. “Derek has girls stay with him at his apartment in New York, and then he gets them a car to take them home the next day. Waiting in his car is a gift basket containing signed Jeter memorabilia, usually a signed baseball,” the friend dished. “This summer, he ended up hooking up with a girl who he had hooked up with once before, but Jeter seemed to have forgotten about the first time and gave her the same identical parting gift, a gift basket with a signed Derek Jeter baseball,” the pal said. “He basically gave her the same gift twice because he’d forgotten hooking up with her the first time!” Jeter, who fiercely guards his privacy to protect his All-American image and multimillion-dollar marketability, split with the gorgeous actress Kelly this summer and has been playing the field ever since.

It’s not Jeter’s fault she wasn’t a memorable lay. She should just be thankful he gave her something besides the gift that keeps on giving. If times get tough, she can auction off her swag to pay for her Valtrex prescriptions.

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Minka Kelly Is Either Retarded Or A Genius

Minka Kelly was dating Derek Jeter for three years before they announced their split this week. This means one of two things. People reports:

While female Yankee fans are buzzing about Derek Jeter’s new single status, sources on the set of Charlie’s Angels in Miami are talking about a growing late-night friendship between his ex Minka Kelly and her costar Ramon Rodriguez. “We have seen Minka and Ramon talking in his trailer way after hours, and often late into the night,” a source on the set tells PEOPLE. “They have been together long after they need to be for the show.” Another source isn’t so quick to couple them up: “They’re just friends. Ramon is basically the only guy on set so of course they all hang out with him.” Kelly, 31, had been dating Jeter, 37, for the past three years with annual talk about an impending lavish wedding. It wasn’t meant to be however, with the couple announcing their split Thursday, and a source telling PEOPLE they still “care about each other and … are still friends.” Puerto Rican-born Rodriguez, also 31, who is best known for his TV roles in The Wire and Day Break, plays John Bosley on ABC’s Charlie’s Angels reboot – a much younger version than fans are used to. A rep for Rodriguez didn’t immediately comment. An ABC rep declined to comment.

Listen, I have a well-documented weakness for Latin men, but uh, not ones that look like George Michael if he didn’t have car insurance. I’m going out on a limb and saying this is a brilliant publicity stunt for Charlie’s Angels, because Minka Kelly was banging Derek Jeter. Derek. Jeter. As in, one of the world’s most recognizable and richest athletes, for three years. If this isn’t a publicity stunt, I’m going out on a limb and saying Minka Kelly might want to get her chromosomes counted.

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Minka Kelly Is Single



I tried to work in a joke about 3,000 hits, but it’s too early or whatever excuse that means I’m too lazy. People reports:
After dating for three years, Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter have broken up, her rep confirms to PEOPLE.”They care about each other and it was amicable,” says a source. “They’re still friends.”

I wanted to speculate why they broke up, but I’m a little tired because I just had sex with her in my mind. See? I’m doing it right now. Awww yeah, you like that? You like that don’t you, baby? Oh, don’t worry. My mom doesn’t come down here. I’m a grown ass man. I pay rent. That’s right, now just stick your ass up like th..oh, oh, uuhhhhh ooohhh. Sorry about that. Give me like, what? Five minutes?

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Derek Jeter is a Pimp



Derek Jeter, the New York Yankees shortstop who has plowed through Hollywood actresses such as Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, and Jessica Biel seemed to enjoy his stay at Miami’s Shore Club. Page Six says:

Our spy in the lobby of the Shore Club in Miami early Sunday morning spotted “two scantily clad women screaming at the front desk because they had spent the night at Jeter’s penthouse and were then charged for parking.” “The girls were wearing what looked like the same clothes they wore the night before – a tight cocktail dress and a mini-skirt. They were making a huge scene because they were asked to pay for parking. “Obviously, they’d spent the night there,” giggled the onlooker, who noted that one of the overnight guests was screaming into the phone, “After last night, he’d better fucking take care of it!” After a bit of insistence, “they eventually left happy. I assume he paid for their parking after all,” said our snitch.”

When people visit Cooperstown in fifty years, the tour guide will probably say something like, “To your left, you’ll find Hank Aaron’s Negro League Jersey, to your right, you can see Reggie Jackson’s bat from Game 6 of the 1977 World Series, and right through those double doors contains the actual penis of Derek Jeter….”

Obligatory NSFW Jessica Biel pictures:

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