Charlie Sheen’s Twins Are Violent Sociopaths In A “Zombie-Like State”
Charlie Sheen’s Twins Are Violent Sociopaths In A “Zombie-Like State”

 

When your father (Charlie Sheen) spends all his time infecting busted porn stars with tiger blood, and your mom (Brooke Mueller) is a crackhead who is rich enough to go to rehab instead of rotting in jail, sometimes you have to stay live with your dad's ex-wife (Denise Richards), because some people don't understand that you actually have take of kids once you have them. And since those are your parents, you repay your dad's ex-wife's kindness by making her life a constant, living nightmare because your DNA really left you no other choice. Luckily, Denise Richards has a choice. Bye, kids. TMZ reports:

Denise Richards has informed the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services she will NO LONGER care for the twins of Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller … TMZ has learned. Sources connected with DCFS tell TMZ … Denise wrote a letter to the agency, saying the kids are violent and out of control, and she says it's ALL Brooke's fault. DCFS sources say the letter details horrifying conduct.  Denise says Bob and Max often go into a "zombie-like state" — they repeatedly kick her dogs in the head and squeeze their heads with both hands while watching the dogs whimper in pain.  She also says the kids will flip from sweetly petting the dog to strangling the animals and lifting them off the ground by the neck. According to the letter, Denise would tell the kids they were hurting the dogs, and Bob and Max would reply that they wanted to hurt and kill the dogs. According to the letter, the violence is not limited to animals.  Denise says her daughters — Sam, Lola and Eloise — have been targets of the boys.  She says her daughters have been strangled, kicked in the head and stomach, scratched, bit, slapped, punched in the face and head, and spit on by Bob and Max.  Denise describes one incident which she seems to blame on Brooke — after visiting Mueller, Bob threw a toy at Sam's face and she had to go to the doctor. Denise says Bob and Max went to school in September and they have been problematic from the get-go.  She says Bob in particular has harmed other kids and punched and slapped teachers in the face.  Denise says the kids have also thrown their own feces into the bathroom of one of her daughters.


IDLYITW was lucky to get this exclusive video of Charlie Sheen's twins at Halloween. Pretty scary stuff:
 

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Duh, Winning



As you look at these pictures of Denise Richards in a bikini, please keep in mind that Charlie Sheen was once married to this and inseminated it twice. Now remember that he calls this and this “goddesses”. You could take the DNA of the chicks he pays to pretend to love him now and splice with an actual goddess and it still wouldn’t look as hot as Denise Richards does here. I guess what I’m really trying to say is that I would have sex with Denise Richards. Yep, that’s what I’m saying.

Note: Since it didn’t take long for me to get the usual, “You are an idiot. Stick to celeb gossip. Obviously politics is too much for you.” on the last post, I hope this helps. It almost might help if you call my manager. He might be able to give you a full refund. Oh, wait.

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Denise Richards is a Wild Thing

The second season of Denise Richards: It’s Complicated premiered last week, but now you can it at the her regularly scheduled time on Sundays at 10:30 EST. Be sure to tune in, because really, there’s no telling what might happen in 24 minutes on a scripted reality show with a life lesson from a rich white woman who’s never worked a day in her life at the end of the episode. I can hardly wait!

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Boarding From Behind!

It looks like Denise Richards is having quite the time with her snowboard instructor in Utah. Sure, she’s not actually going down the mountain, but whatever is happening above…well, it looks like she’s enjoying it.

I once had a snowboard instructor do this to me, and I fell to the ground yelling “bad touch!” until someone came to my aid. I was 22, so I imagine it caused quite the scene. Then, Vail’s ski resort paid for my DV-R. It was the biggest scandel in Vail history…Until THIS.

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Re-Create The Greatest Kiss, Go To Vegas

If you’re having trouble convincing your significant other to let you film your…um…private acts, maybe we have a lead in for you.

NetFlix is having a contest to see who can best re-create famous kisses from film. They’ve set up a YouTube page and everything.

The best part is that it’s vote-based, so if you’re popular and attractive, you can get your friends to watch you make out with someone, and that making out might get you two free trips. The top three videos win trip to New York where the participants will kiss on stage. The winning couple gets flown to Las Vegas for some sort of getaway (we’re guessing “romantic’).

You can check out the official site here, or the YouTube page here, but they all suck thus far, so get kissing. (more…)

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Charlie Sheen is Sorry



The greatest love story ever told continues to capture our hearts and minds, as Charlie Sheen has apologized for several voicemails he left for Denise Richards in 2005 that were leaked online earlier this week. He doesn’t apologize for calling Denise Richards a “fucking cunt”, nor did he apologize for making fun of Richards’ mother who was undergoing chemotherapy at the time. Rather, he apologized for using the word “nigger” when he said the following:

I hope you rot in fucking hell. You’re a piece of shit, fucking liar…I hope I never fucking talk to you again you fucking cunt. You’re a coward and a liar and a fucking nigger.”

MSNBC reports:

I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings,” Sheen said in a statement obtained by Access Hollywood. “And for the record, my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation,” Sheen’s statement continued. “So three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continue to be manifested on a daily basis.”

In case you didn’t know, Tony Todd is best known for playing Candyman. Using the word “nigger” is never acceptable, only when the windows are rolled up or you can run away really fast, but when he has a hook for a hand, all bets are off, man. All bets are off.

Charlie Sheen and his new wife, Brooke Mueller on their honeymoon on June 3rd:

Photos: Splash

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Denise Richards Might Be Lying



On her new reality show Denise Richards “claims to be setting the record straight” about the drama that has been surrounding her for the last four years. Turns out “setting the record straight” means “making up stuff so I won’t look like a husband stealing lunatic.” Page Six reports:

On the show, Richards says more than once that she’s no husband stealer, claiming that she and Heather Locklear weren’t friends for months before she started dating Locklear’s estranged husband, Richie Sambora – and that the relationship started only after Locklear and Sambora split. But a Locklear pal says otherwise. “Heather has phone records that prove Denise was calling Richie while Heather was still married to him,” our source said. “Heather was such a good friend to Denise. She gave Denise clothes and offered her a shoulder to cry on when she and [now ex-husband] Charlie [Sheen] split up – there are even photos in the press of Heather taking Denise out after she and Charlie split. And then a few weeks later – not months – Denise starts dating Richie. “For Denise to claim that not only did she not initiate contact with Richie but that she and Heather weren’t friends for three months before she took up with him, well, that’s just absurd and an outright lie. “Denise also claims she’s still friends with Richie – which is not true. He doesn’t speak to her at all.”

In case you didn’t know, Denise Richards is insane. No, for real. She’s crazy. I fully expect next week’s episode will follow her to a relaxing trip to a day spa then down the street as she barks and chases cars.

Denise at a celebrity carnival/pediatric AIDS benefit on June 8th:

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Denise Richards is Pissed Off



Denise Richards has gotten a lot of bad press recently, so to solve that, she visited the office of Lycia Naff, a writer for People Magazine, because celebrities are higher beings who don’t deserve any criticism or any negative press. In case you’re wondering, it ended badly. I don’t want to give anything away, but some people might get the impression that Denise Richards is a raving psycho.

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Charlie Sheen Has Prostitute Tranny Infested Sperm



Yesterday, sources close to Charlie Sheen publicly questioned Denise Richards claim that she needed to do her reality show to support her children, because she receives $52,000 a month in child support and has the potential to make an estimated $25 million off Sheen’s television show, Two and Half Men. As usual, it didn’t take long to fly into a psychotic rage. Page Six reports:

Sheen branded her a liar and claimed she sent his fiancee, Brooke Mueller, an e-mail asking him for his sperm so she could have another kid. Now Richards, in town to promote her E! reality show “It’s Complicated,” tells us: “For him to slam me saying I’m exploiting the kids, well, he’s exploited our entire situation,” Richards fumed to us yesterday. She claims Sheen obsessively sends her rage-filled text messages. “Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he’s going to Family Day [for daughter Sam’s school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold,” Richards said. “His response was, ‘I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.’ My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis. “He missed Dad’s day at the school and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?” Richards claims the e-mails sent to Mueller were fakes: “I don’t want Charlie’s prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We’ll leave it at that. I am so over him. He’s the one who can’t move on. He’s disgusting and he’s hit an all-time low.”

There are times when I wonder if writing about topless hot chicks and Britney Spears all day is even worth it anymore. Then there comes a story like this. It’s not every day that you can say you covered the greatest love story ever told. If I can be real for a minute, that’s what keeps me going my friends.

Photos: Splash

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Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen are Still Fighting



In another battle in their ongoing child-custody war, Denise Richards is taking Charlie Sheen to court for his refusal to allow their two daughters to appear on Richards’ new reality show. Richards thinks it would be a good idea to put them on television, Sheen doesn’t. Yahoo! says:

Sheen has refused to let his girls, three-year-old Sam and Lola, two, take part in the former Bond girl’s TV plans – and so the ex-couple is going back to court later this week to fight it out. Sources tell U.S. news show Extra that Richards recently landed the reality TV deal, which will revolve around her life as a working single mum in Hollywood. In order for the girls to appear in the reality television show, Sheen has to approve but he has refused. Richards is asking the court to revoke Sheen’s power as the children’s father in this matter, so she can move forward with the show without his consent.”

This is the 100 Years War of custody battles, so be prepared for more of this insane nonsense. Sam and Lola must be pissed. I wouldn’t be surprised if they ran away from home with a handkerchief tied to a stick and were later seen on a raft with an escaped slave.

Update: TMZ is reporting the judge has ruled that Denise is allowed to film the reality show with her children and under certain restrictions.

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