Darren Aronofsky Is Dating Suki Waterhouse Now
Darren Aronofsky Is Dating Suki Waterhouse Now

 

48-year-old pretentious film student and pile of scarves, Darren Aronofsky, had his last movie nominated for a bunch of Razzies (neckbeards are very, very upset) and his relationship end with Jennifer Lawrence two months ago because he couldn’t stop talking about said movie. Apparently, he’s now dating Suki Waterhouse. She played the woman who got her arm cut off in that movie that nobody saw. Per People:

Darren Aronofsky got cozy with Suki Waterhouse at the Sundance Film Festival. The pair were photographed taking an afternoon stroll together in Park City on Monday. The Black Swan director kept his arm around Waterhouse as they walked around before stopping at a restaurant for a bite to eat. Both Aronofsky, 43 (Todd’s note: He’s 48), and Waterhouse, 26, were bundled up for the outing in puffer coats to help block the cold, snowy weather.

Darren Aronofsky and Jennifer Lawrence both seem super annoying, and I really don’t know much about Suki Waterhouse except she used to date Bradley Cooper and my god who cares. Why do I do this to myself?

 

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Jennifer Lawrence And Darren Aronofsky Split Up Already
Jennifer Lawrence And Darren Aronofsky Split Up Already

 

Sad news to report. Jennifer Lawrence and Darren Aronofsky have broken up. If an overrated 27-year-old actor from Kentucky and a pretentious 48-year-old Brooklyn hipster can’t stay together after making a shitty movie together that they thought was art, what hope do the rest of us have?

Jennifer Lawrence and Darren Aronofsky have called it quits, ET has exclusively learned from multiple sources. The former couple dated for roughly one year after working together on the 2017 film Mother!, directed by Aronofsky. A source says the breakup happened last month. It was an amicable split and they remain friends. Another source tells ET the pair’s last public sighting was at the Governors Awards in LA on Nov. 11 and although the two were already broken up, they sat together and were friendly. It’s not awkward, the source adds.

I could make a Mother! joke here, but these two already made it one, so I’ll leave it alone. Not sure what happened with them, but hopefully she was replaced with Emma Stone.

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What A Lovely Couple
What A Lovely Couple

 

Jennifer Lawrence (27) and Darren Aronofsky (48) made their first red carpet appearance together at the NYC premiere of mother!, and I’m continuing this sentence so I don’t have to end it with an exclamation point. Lawrence is at the point of her career where she’s gonna be Kate Winslet and either date or marry every director she works with and maybe have a kid with each. I hope she doesn’t have a kid with Quentin Tarantino, because nobody wants to see a poor child suffer with a neck brace that holds his head up.

 

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Darren Aronofsky Might Be Natalie Portman’s Baby’s Father

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I normally don’t deal in wild speculation and conjecture, and although that’s not true, someone sent me this today. So, if you’re having a hard time believing how a dude ballerina who skips down the street got Natalie Portman pregnant, maybe this will make it a little more harder. You know, like Darren Aronofsky’s penis.

When this famous director dropped out of a high-profile project, there was some speculation that it was due to personal rather than professional reasons. He had broken up with an actress last year, and it was believed that each was taking time off from work to battle over the custody of their child/ren. What isn’t public knowledge is that their breakup was due in large part to his affair with another actress… who became pregnant with his baby. The jury is still out on whether or not any of the three will ever acknowledge the affair and/or the baby’s paternity.

Director:

First Actress:

Second Actress:

August 25, 2010 – September 15, 2010 – Natalie Portman gets inseminated at some point. Putting her due date between June 1 and June 22, 2011.

September 1, 2010: Black Swan has its world premiere as the opening film of the 67th Venice Film Festival.

November 8, 2010: Darren Aronofsky and Rachel Weisz announced they split after 9 years, claim they had been “separated for some months“.

December 27, 2010: Natalie Portman announces that she’s pregnant and engaged. In the same press release.

March 17, 2011: Darren Aronofsky suddenly and inexplicably pulls out of The Wolverine citing production in Japan “would keep me out of the country for almost a year. I was not comfortable being away from my family for that length of time.”

June 14, 2011: Natalie Portman gives birth.

Sooo….yeah. I’m not saying any of this is true, but if you were a woman with a working vagina, would it Niagra over a brilliant, auteur filmmaker, or the guy in the corner wearing leg warmers and a leotard? I just polled several working vaginas and I didn’t even get the chance to get out the “and a leotard” part.

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Rachel Weisz Is Single

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Director Darren Aronofsky and Rachel Weisz have split after nine years. Nine years. In Hollywood. Can somebody get these two silver plates, please? TMZ reports:

Aronofsky — who directed “The Wrestler,” “Requiem for a Dream” and “Pi” — and Weisz — who starred in “The Mummy,” “The Constant Gardner” and “The Fountain” — were together for nine years. They never married. Reps for the former couple tell TMZ, “Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky have been separated for some months. They remain close friends and are committed to raising their son together in NYC.” Sources tell us the couple will seek joint custody of their 4-year-old Henry Chance.

I’ve always thought Rachel Weisz was hot, but she’s never been on the site because she was all boring and content in her committed happiness. So hopefully that will change now since she’s 40 and a single mom who just got out of a failed relationship. I assume her self-esteem is at the point where I might have a chance. That is, of course, unless I can’t scoop her up before Amon Goeth makes her his maid. Oh, that Amon! Always up to no good!

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Darren Aronofsky is Rude



I guess when you’re the genius behind Pi, Requiem For a Dream, The Fountain, and The Wrestler, people let you get away with stuff. Stuff like flipping off somebody who is accepting an award on live television. In related news, I just threw a bottle cap away even though it said I won a free Mountain Dew! Darren Aronofsky and I are just rebels like that I guess!

P.S. Sorry about the recent site issues. Apparently our server is haunted.

Photo credit: Splash

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