Long story short, Daniel Craig was dating Sienna Miller while filming Layer Cake in 2004. He then banged Kate Moss and fell in love with her vagina. Somehow Jude Law fought out and somebody from the Sunday Mirror hacked Craig's phone so now we're here. Daily Mirror reports:
Daniel Craig left Kate Moss a voicemail message declaring his love for her, a court heard today. Former News of the World reporter Dan Evans told the Old Bailey he intercepted a message from Mr Craig while working at the Sunday Mirror. The message said, 'I love you, I love you, I love you,' the court was told. Mr Craig and supermodel Ms Moss were widely rumoured to be dating for a few months in 2004, but never publicly confirmed the relationship.
Before you profess your love for a chick, you first have to make sure she's not an easily manipulated ho. That's step one. You should also make sure you're not dating anyone at the time or have Jude Law as a friend.
In the upcoming James Bond installment Skyfall, the villain Silva (Javier Bardem) fondles Bond in which Bond replies, “”What makes you think this is my first time?”. Sounds pretty gay. But in an interview with Moveline, Daniel Craig and Javier Bardem explain why this wasn’t gay as much as a scare tactic. I can see that.
“What are you going to do?” Craig replied breezily, getting a nice laugh from the crowd, but then he added: “I don’t see the world in sexual divisions.” He then changed the subject from Bond to to Bardem’s wonderfully flamboyant character, Silva. “Someone suggested that Silva may be gay,” Craig said with a big smile. “And I’m like, I think he’ll f*** anything.” As Bond producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson sat silently onstage with Craig, the actor, natty in a form-hugging suit and skinny tie, then downplayed the scene as “a great flirt. It’s a game of cards,” adding: “It the right thing to say, and that way that Javier plays it is so great. He plays it for real, and he plays it to the limit. He never forgets that he’s playing a Bond villain.” Finally, Craig offered his final assessment: “I love that scene,” he said “It makes me laugh. I hope it makes you laugh.” Earlier in the day, Bardem dropped some hints about his character that may shed a little more light on the scene. Asked how Silva’s “sexuality informed [Bardem’s] interpretation of the character, the actor responded; “It was part of the game, but it’s not entirely the game.” Bardem explained that his “main goal” as Silva was creating “uncomfortable situations” for anyone who crossed his path. “Within that, you can read anything that you want or wish,” Bardem said. “But it was more about putting the other person in a very uncomfortable situation where even James Bond doesn’t know how to get out of it.”
I once flirted with a dude to get Radiohead tickets and that made him uncomfortable, so I guess I can understand. Actually I can’t. I looked pretty hot in that peacoat, what was that dude’s problem? He knows he wanted it.
Before we get started, please keep in mind that Kris Jenner is pure, unadulterated narcissism whose life solely exists to be a broodmare for any rich, famous man who will agree to marry her so she can shit out an assembly line of fame whores who will suck every bit of money and cum from any product/place/thing/network/government that lands on her desk (ex. see the banner pic? That’s her at the opening of a fucking milkshake shop in Dubai). To ensure she can live vicariously through her walking withdrawal slips, Kris Jenner has already pimped out her youngest daughters by forcing them to become underage bikini models and she has recently teamed with E! to launch an all out attack on Kris Humphries (only after their strategy of faking a marriage for $20 million backfired) by manipulating the media, leaking false stories, and editing all their billion shows to make him the bad guy. And how did all this fame and fortune land in their lap? Easy. Her first husband defended a guy who cut his wife’s head off and by secretly overseeing the sale and release of a sex tape where her daughter got butt fucked and pissed on like a rented lay in a hostel. So if you’re not sitting down, be sure you do as you read her response to Daniel Craig calling her family “fucking idiots”. The National Enquirer reports:
“(He has) crossed the line,” she told Heat mag. “It’s not made him look like the world’s nicest guy. The right thing for a real man to do now would be to issue a public apology. “The easy thing would be to criticize his career now, but our family won’t stoop to that level.”
I once saw a homeless guy run down Glenwood Avenue with a stolen shopping cart telling every woman that he saw that they had to come with him because a giant octopus who could teleport would be coming to get them pregnant and that they would only be safe in his time machine (shopping cart). Because his time machine would take them to Long John Silver’s because that’s the only place a giant, raping octopus would be afraid. I guess what I’m saying is that he was less delusional than Kris Jenner.
In a candid interview with the January issue of GQ magazine, the British actor branded the famous family as “f**king idiots,” and RadarOnline.com has a preview of his no holds barred interview. The cutting comments came as 43-year-old Craig opened up for the first time about his marriage to fellow Brit, Rachel Weisz, who he secretly wed last June. “I think there’s a lot to be said for keeping your own counsel,” he told the monthly men’s magazine. “It’s not about being afraid to be public with your emotions or about who you are and what you stand for. But if you sell it off it’s gone. You can’t buy it back – you can’t buy your privacy back. “‘Ooh I want to be alone.’ F*** you!” he said vehemently. “We’ve been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta and now you want some privacy?” As an example of his disgust with celebrities who sell out so blatantly for fame, Craig name checked Kim Kardashian and her clan. “Look at the Kardashians, they’re worth millions. I don’t think they were that badly off to begin with but now look at them,” he explained. “You see that and you think, ‘What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a f***ing idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions?’ “I’m not judging it – well, I am obviously,” the witty Brit concluded.
Normally I’d roll my eyes and suggest that if he didn’t want to be famous that he could do dinner theater in North Dakota, but this is Daniel Craig. As if I didn’t love him enough for being the best Bond since Connery, Daniel Craig has to go and prove, once more, that he gives no fucks.
Also, for all two of you who think reality TV is real, watch this — you can skip to 1:30.
Olivia Wilde, Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, John Favreau, Ron Howard, Steven Spielberg, the Old West, creepy spaceships, and shit blowing up. I don’t know whether to watch this trailer or buy it dinner and try to talk it into letting me fuck it.
Daniel Craig can do no wrong in my eyes after the insanely awesome Layer Cake, so I don’t care that he looks like he drives by elementary schools during recess as he photobombs the shit out of Taylor Swift and some chick in red who I really hope has a fetish for giving blowjobs to celebrity gossip bloggers. Hey, wait a minute, I’m one! I didn’t even think about that!