Here’s Chaz Bono on Dancing With The Stars

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Further proving the longstanding stereotype that fat white guys can’t dance, Chaz Bono made her its his debut on Dancing With The Stars last night by performing the Cha cha with the possible tranny, Lacey Schwimmer. And although this might look like a frolicking romp full of sexual chemistry and passion, please keep in mind that the blonde in high heels and the guy with the beard and beer gut both use tampons.

Note: In case this didn’t fully turn you on, here’s Chaz Bono topless. Awww, yeah baby! We’re heating things up!

Video source = TMZ

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Salsa Con Queso

In case you’re wondering how anyone can do cardio for hours and still look like they need to butter their doorways to leave the house, Chaz Bono was photographed outside the Dancing With The Stars rehearsal studio (likely because they called the paparazzi ahead) maintaining his girlish figure by ordering tacos off of a truck. If nothing else, this may explain Bristol Palin.

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Chaz Bono Has Haters

Chaz Bono’s gig on Dancing With the Stars is causing an uproar. An uproar. About Dancing With the Stars. Fuck everything. E! Online reports that his partner on the show, Lacey Schwimmer, has come to his defense:

“There’s a lot of people against him at this moment because they don’t know too much about him and his whole process,” she says. “I think that through this show you’re going to see a different side of Chaz. I think people are going to see past, ‘Is he a boy or is he a girl?’ I think they’re going to stop questioning and just accept him for him.” As for the undeniable impact Chaz’s appearance on the show will have, Schwimmer says, “I think it’s just showing that people need to be OK with this. We need to evolve. It’s 2011. I personally feel that we need to get over it.”

I really do commend Lacey’s open mind and kind heart to transgender issues, but based on these photos she might be a bit biased. The only thing stopping me from outright declaring her a drag queen is the fact that her chin is big enough to obscure her Adam’s apple.

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This Is Karina Smirnoff’s Playboy Cover. This.

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As promised, or threatened, here’s Karina Smirnoff‘s Playboy cover. Take a moment. Now tell me how much she gets for her Sharpie endorsement. Or if I should get a side of bacon or maple sausage with those tits. Maybe Karina and I can order that for lunch, because in a world that make any kind of fucking sense, that’s obviously when her shift at the strip club next to the Vietnamese nail salon would end.

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The Inevitable Happened


When Kirstie Alley was announced as a celebrity contest on Dancing With The Stars and “here’s her partner Thor” wasn’t said immediately afterward, it was only a matter of time before Sir Isaac Newton would be in the spotlight once again. Specifically, last night. When Maksim Chmerkovskiy‘s knee finally succumbed to the tsunami of BMI and heart disease that he’s been bombarded with for the last three weeks. As you watch this video, please keep in mind that this wasn’t an accident. It wasn’t a slip. You can literally see the point in the conversation where his femur and tibia looked at each other and said “fuck this bullshit” and collapsed like Chmerkovskiy had been kneecapped by the mafia.

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Nope, Not Gay At All

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Herpes infected guido, Mike Sorrentino, finally took his cast photo for Dancing With The Stars, and I don’t know about you, but I wonder how much he charges German men to shit on his chest in a bathtub. I don’t want to tell him how to run his business, but he could probably charge more since he’s famous.

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Australian F-List Star In An A-List Bikini

May I present Tania Zaetta, a nice C-list Australian celebrity who has a body carved out of coco-butter. Sure, I could tell you that Zaetta was on Baywatch in 1999, or that she starred in a Bollywood film since then, but all that really matters is that she was on Australia’s Dancing With The Stars and was the first person voted off. And if they let people like Steve-O on that show in this country, imagine how a country founded by criminals and rapists selects their reality royalty.

If you answer was: just put the attractive ones on TV, I think you’re right.

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Marie Osmond Fainted



Marie Osmond collapsed on live television last night after she performed a samba routine on the ABC show, Dancing with the Stars. Apparently she just stopped breathing and passed out. I can’t tell what drugs she’s on at the beginning, but I’d kinda like to know. She looks like she passed out pretty easy. Something has to work better than this belt.

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