Kendall Jenner Gets Her Own Coachella Post

I really don’t consider Kendall Jenner a Kardashian since she weighs under 200 pounds and is actually attractive, so I don’t feel bad giving Kendall her own Coachella post. Mostly because she’s really hot and I’d like to have sex with her. To be honest, that’s how I make 90% of my decisions. The other 10% is based on if a restaurant charges for guac.

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Lindsay Was Fall Down Drunk At Coachella
Lindsay Was Fall Down Drunk At Coachella

 

I thought I was done with Coachella posts. Dammit, Lindsay. Get it together.

Oh no, it’s a case of history repeating itself as Lindsay Lohan’s been spotted drinking vodka at Coachella despite promises she’d stay sober. The fallen actress was spotted backstage at the festival with sister Ali, with an onlooker saying she was handed a vodka soda by a friend. "She looked completely out of it," the source told In Touch. "She couldn't stand up straight and she was frantically chain smoking cigarettes. In one of her hands she had a plastic cup with a clear liquid in it." All pretty worrying considering she’s only been out of rehab for seven months. It comes just a few weeks after Lindsay, 27, admitted she’d relapsed by drinking a glass of wine, saying visiting LA wasn’t good for her sobriety. Check out the video at the source.

There's really no way to tell if this story is fake or not, but it doesn't really matter, because this has been true enough times for me to automatically just starting nodding. Yep. Sounds true enough. I could read that Lindsay tried to suck off a potato farmer because she thought vodka would come out and, yep, just starting nodding to that one too.

 

 

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Here’s Some People Who Went To Coachella

I'm almost positive the tweakers at Coachella crashed Instagram this weekend leaving girls who took pictures of their thighs at the pool to be so done over having to wait to post them. So, if you haven't seen enough Coachella pics yet, hey, here's some more. Wow! How exciting!

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Here’s Outkast’s Full Coachella Set

 

After not appearing on stage together for over 10 years, Outkast reunited at Coachella and performed 27 songs much to the delight of stoned EDM white people with a vague understanding of who they were seeing. Kendall Jenner probably thought they were holograms. Coachella then immediately started selling fish and grits for $50. A side of pimp shit is $20 extra.

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Ashley Benson Was McDonald’s Official Corporate Whore At Coachella
Ashley Benson Was McDonald’s Official Corporate Whore At Coachella

Ashly Benson Coachella

 

Seen here not even attempting to pretend that she wasn't paid by McDonald's to attend Coachella, Ashley Benson deep throated the golden arches the entire weekend. She couldn't have hooked up with Moe's? I would have respected her more.

 

source = she's lovin' it

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Here’s Leonardo DiCaprio Dancing At Coachella
Here’s Leonardo DiCaprio Dancing At Coachella

 

Leonardo DiCaprio wanted to remain anonymous at Coachella and this video of him dancing is probably why. He'd look more coordinated if he walked into a downed power line.

 

 

pic source = this person

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These People Went To Coachella

Coachella is the organic tofu burger of music festivals, so we kind of expect everyone to dress like a Ben & Jerry's label come to life. Nobody is safe. It looks like a halfway house broke into an Urban Outfitters and everybody got dressed really quick before the cops showed up. Also, everybody you see in these pictures is probably high.

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