It's not really a secret that Quentin Tarantino is one of the biggest freaks in Hollywood who even Rex Ryan thinks his foot fetish is kinda weird, so of course with the world being filled with hot women, Tarantino is apparently obsessed with Christina Aguilera. Did that last sentence make any sense? Sorry, it's early. Use your critical thinking skills to translate. 4 Music reports:
Quentin Tarantino has reportedly been "hitting up" Christina Aguilera with constant work opportunities. The film director is long known to have considered Uma Thurman, who starred in his Kill Bill franchise, as his muse. It seems he is now ready to move on and is adamant Christina is his biggest source of inspiration. He apparently became particularly interested in her after she showed off her slimmer frame a few months ago. "He's been hitting her up with e-mails and scripts for movies, plus calling her loads and even writing her letters," an insider told Heat magazine.The 32-year-old singer is no stranger to the big screen having starred alongside Cher in 2010's Burlesque. Although she would love to revisit movies, she is said to be questioning Quentin's motives. "Christina doesn't want to offend him and she's open to more acting opportunities. But she's worried that he may have a crush on her, so at this point it's gotten kind of creepy," the source explained. Top of Christina's list of concerns is said to be the way the film director wants to discuss future projects. "Quentin doesn't seem to care. He has all these projects he wants to discuss with her, but when she asks him to come to her office, he suggests dinner. Christina would love to be Tarantino's muse, but she is not going to bother if it comes with strings attached," the insider explained.
This story kinda seems like bullshit, but it's Quentin so you never really know. He could be asking her to play a Vegas singer who fights werewolf Nazis, or he could be trying to pitch a documentary about her feet.
Remember last year when Christina Aguilera would stab you in the throat for the last donut then drain you of your blood to cover her nachos? Well apparently she's been on a diet, because she showed up to NBC's TCA Summer Press Tour this weekend looking like this. "This" being more aesthically pleasing as to encourage penetration. Penetration from my penis. I'd put my genie in her bottle again AWWWW YEAH, SON. NAILED IT!
Christina Aguilera performed at the Billboard Music Awards last night looking like she's finally stopped getting text alerts when Krispy Kreme's "Hot Now" sign lights up. Good for her. And if you're thinking that I'm reducing a woman to how she looks in clothes, very good. Because I am. Mostly because you can't sell millions of albums by dancing around in a bikini in a boxing ring then get fat and say you shouldn't be judged by your weight. You didn't mind being judged in the bikini, so you really can't have it both ways. Unless you're Amber Heard. I hear she's into that.
Christina Aguilera attended TIME'S 100 Most Influential People In The World at Jazz at Lincoln Center in NYC last night where she was celebrated for international influence on how gas station burritos are made.
If you watched the 40th AMAs last night, you could actually see Christina Aguilera
getting fatter. She also suspended her performance to go back to Washington to personally fund the Hostess bailout. Seriously. Go look it up on YouTube.
Adam Levine and his band sing very heterosexual and very topical songs about payphones and 69-year old bisexual British guys, so everyone should probably back off from calling Christina Aguilera fat. Because a guy who judges a karaoke competition by spinning around in a chair will totally kick your ass. E! Online reports:
“People shouldn’t say those kinds of things because, f–k you. It’s like, come on guys, grow up,” Levine, 33, told reporters at a Friday Q&A in New York City when asked about the knocks the 31-year-old songbird has taken over her curvy figure. “The one thing about the culture right now—celebrity culture particularly—that is so ugly is [that] people feel like they can just say nasty things about other people…she gets a lot of it,” Levine added. “It pisses me off. Of course I have her back, of course I defend her.”
Our celebrity culture also includes Maroon 5 and The Voice, so let’s not get too carried away with righteous indignation there, Adam. How about you get another tattoo and listen to more Jamiroquai. We’ll keep calling Christina Aguilera fat. Thanks.
I’d like to apologize if you’re eating right now, but Christina Aguilera waddled onto Chelsea Lately last night, and while viewers were looking at Chelsea Handler’s mummified face in HD, the fat chick said that she didn’t like to wear underwear. She didn’t go on to say anything about the ecosystem between her legs.
E! Online reports:
“I don’t like to wear underwear,” Xtina said. “I like to be as free as possible at all times. It’s just who I am.”…Aguilera went on to explain, “It’s empowering. It’s pussy power!”
“The Voice”? More like “The Moist”, amirite?! Ok, gonna go vomit now. brb.
When defending her weight
earlier this month, Christina Aquilera
said she was Ecuadorian, but people keep “passing me off as a skinny, blue-eyed white girl”. I guess “Ecuadorian” means “sassy, black lady” in fat girl, because GODDAMN. It’s going to be pretty cool next week when she wears biker shorts and a halter top.
From 1999 to 2008, Christina Aguilera was the hyper-sexualized with the great voice, and she didn’t pass up any up opportunity to get as close to naked as possible. Then she got pregnant and started eating for two. Then the baby came and she never stopped eating for two. Now if you call her fat you’re racist. And if you work with her, don’t worry about bringing the donuts. She’ll have some. Billboard reports:
During the promotion of my album Stripped [in 2002], I got tired of being a skinny, white girl. I am Ecuadorian but people felt so safe passing me off as a skinny, blue-eyed white girl.”...”The next time my label saw me, I was heavier, darker and full of piercings!” the five-time Grammy Award winner laughs. “Let me tell you, that wasn’t an easy pill for them to swallow. I had gained about 15 pounds during promotion and during my Stripped tour [with Justin Timberlake, 31]. They called this serious emergency meeting about how there was a lot of backlash about my weight. Basically, they told me I would effect a lot of people if I gained weight — the production, musical directors.”… “I told them during this Lotus recording, ‘You are working with a fat girl. Know it now and get over it.’ They need a reminder sometimes that I don’t belong to them. It’s my body,” Aguilera tells the magazine. “My body can’t put anyone in jeopardy of not making money anymore—my body is just not on the table that way anymore.”
Women, please make up your minds. Do we want just everyone to be fat? Just tell us so we’ll know. If you see a skinny girl, we’re supposed to tell her to “eat a sandwich”. And if we see a fat girl who stole all the skinny girl’s sandwiches we’re not supposed to call her fat because she’s a real woman who is “embracing her curves”. I guess because nobody else is.
Since they can’t steal all of the other people’s awards, the 2012 NCLR ALMA Awards were held in Pasadena on Sunday, and as you can see, Christina Aguilera
won for something. I didn’t look it up, but I assume she won for eating the most pies.