Karrueche Tran Didn’t Waste Any Time

PLOT TWIST 2: TWITTER TRAN

Listen. One can only take so much. The best of luck to Chris and his family. No baby drama for me.

Huh. Karreueche can date him after he almost beat Rihanna to death and called Frank Ocean a faggot over a parking space, but a baby? Now that’s just too much, bruh.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Or Maybe Not
Or Maybe Not

 

PLOT TWIST!  (Via Baller Alert & ONTD)

By now you’ve heard the rumors that Chris Brown is allegedly the father of a 9 month old girl after engaging in an affair with a 31 year old former model named Nia. Various reports are saying different things but there are a few things we can clarify.

 

- First things first, Nia is definitely a former model. She’s from Houston, TX and part of the Rap-A-Lot family. We have a photo of J Prince Jr holding her daughter below. 

 

- Is Chris Brown the father? That, we don’t know yet. What we do know is that Nia has been telling friends that he is, despite the fact that another man has been raising her daughter

 

- The man that thought he was the father moderates an Instagram page for the child. Prior to all of this coming out, the loving father would post photos of he and their daughter napping, at doctor’s visits, etc. Pretty obvious he’s an active father. Once the news broke he took to social media to pour his heart out.

 

 – Finally, the photo TMZ used (above) is NOT of Nia and her daughter. It’s of Nia’s older daughter and her 9 month old, she alleges is Chris’. 

Wait, you mean to tell me that a woman would let another man think he’s the father then tell everybody else that a dude with more money is the father? Get outta here. In this day and age? I can understand because J Prince Jr. probably makes 70 cents on the dollar and Chris Brown makes a whole dollar. How long must men suffer from the crushing boot of the matriarchy? They make you think you’re their friend then talk shit about you in front of their friends but still expect that $3B check to clear, and you can’t say anything negative because their friends and Fox News will call you anti-semitic.

 

 

J Prince Jr Instagram

Related Posts:

Tags:
Chris Brown Has A 9-Month Old Baby Daughter

I wonder if she’ll make good relationship choices when she’s older. I’m sure she will!

Chris Brown is the proud father of a 9-month-old baby girl … TMZ has learned. The baby’s mother is a 31-year-old former model named Nia — who we’re told has known Chris for several years. Sources connected to both Nia and Chris tell us they are on very good terms — however they’re not together romantically. We’re told 25-year-old Chris is happy about being a father. It does not appear there is a formal child support order in place — and we do not know the nature of any informal terms of support.

Awesome. Brown and Nia are on very good terms. As long as she doesn’t ask who he’s texting. Or what’s up with the irregularities in his community service. Or mentions Drake. Or allows Frank Ocean to take their parking spot. Or looks him directly in the eye. Or makes any sudden movements.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Chris Brown’s Probation Was Revoked Because He Was Shot At
Chris Brown’s Probation Was Revoked Because He Was Shot At

 

By all accounts, Chris Brown is a horrific human being who instantly becomes a violent, petulant child when the world doesn’t revolve around him, but did you know there’s a new law for black guys? It’s pretty weird.

Chris Brown has had his probation revoked in the Rihanna case, in part because he was present at 2 separate nightclubs when people inside were shot, and officials are worried about more shootings and think Chris should serve time behind bars. Chris showed up for a progress report Thursday, when the judge told him the probation report presented multiple problems. First, the report mentions the shooting last Sunday in San Jose when Chris was on stage. Five people were injured.   The judge also said the probation report expressed concern over another shooting at 1OAK during VMA weekend last August. Again, Chris was on stage and several people were shot, including Suge Knight. And the judge said Chris left the county for San Jose without getting the court’s permission, which is a violation of his probation. As for why the shootings are an issue, they were raised in the probation report. The judge noted so far there’s no evidence Chris was criminally involved, but the probation officer says, “There is also concern that when he performs or attends at some of his public events, people will get shot or seriously injured.”

Just so I understand this correctly, Chris Brown performs, other people walk in and shoot up the place, yet prosecutors want to put him in jail? Shooting where Brown was not criminally involved, he just happened to be in the same place as the shooters. This is like sending my toilet to jail after I come back home from Cook-Out.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Chris Brown Thinks Ebola Is “Population Control”

 

As Americans, we love to panic when things happen here, but as long as they stay far away, we’re cool to let the rest of the world burn as long as we can still watch American Idol and drink lattes. So if Chris Brown is suggesting that Ebola is a form of population control in Africa, then he makes a little bit more sense, because it’s been around sense 1976. In closing, Ebola has been on Earth for almost 40 years, but now OMG EBOLA because it’s finally come back home. Wait, did I just type that out loud? ignore that last sentence. I’m SIX FEET from the edge and I’m thinkin (still happening btw).

Related Posts:

Tags:
Chris Brown’s Neighbor Wants To Shoot Him
Chris Brown’s Neighbor Wants To Shoot Him

 

Chris Brown is renting a 8,000 square foot, 6 bedroom house in San Fernando Valley, and one of his neighbors who jacks off to the 2A already wants to shoot him.

“It can be the devil. I can care less. I don’t care if they’re having orgies. It can even be Saddam Hussein for all I care, as long as he doesn’t trespass onto my property. If he does, I shoot him.”

Usually the only white people who fire shots at Chris Brown are named Jenny and she does it on Twitter, but if I was Chris Brown, this would be the only one I’d worry about. The one thing about gun nuts are they can’t fucking wait to display the star spangled awesome power of their Jesus-given right to defend themselves by looking for any excuse to defend themselves against the perceived threats in their delusional and paranoid minds. Of course it’s legal to shoot a trespasser if that person intends to cause you bodily harm or murder you, but to a person who spends a lot of money on guns and spends a lot of time talking about guns, a random drunk guy stumbling onto your property by accident is reason for DEFCON 1. No point in having a gun if you can’t shoot it at the slightest sight of someone loosely violating a law. I know, I know. You have guns in your house because the government might one day come in and try to take all your rights away, so you have to….oops, sorry your house and everything in it just got blown up by a drone. Tell me more about the stopping power of your .45 again. Really? Is that so? Cool, cool.

Related Posts:

Tags:
Chris Brown Is (Was) A Great Boyfriend
Chris Brown Is (Was) A Great Boyfriend

 

I always have to look up Karrueche Tran because I don’t remember if that’s her actual name or more of a description, but here is a pic if her ass that Chris Brown posted on Instagram then immediately deleted, because she’s not Rihanna and doesn’t seem to want her ass all over social media. She also dumped him and isn’t even talking to him anymore.  If she’s bored, maybe she can start some shit on Twitter with a stranger. People really seem to enjoy that.

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Ugh
Ugh

 

In case you were under the impression that life makes any sense, Chris Brown and Justin Bieber  "did 1 for the fans". I assume they collabed on a track, but the fact they both have fans and fans want them to do this raises a lot of questions about humanity. I question Chris Brown's dumbass hat. I woukd type more, but Ronald pretty much said what I was going to type at his parole hearing.

 

Related Posts:

Tags: ,
Chris Brown Is In Solitary, Can Only Shower 3 Times A Week
Chris Brown Is In Solitary, Can Only Shower 3 Times A Week

 

It's always a great plan to give a sociopath time for silent reflection.

Chris Brown will stink to holy hell … because he's only allowed one shower every two days. According to our sources, Brown — who will sit in jail until April 23 — is in solitary confinement 23 hours a day … which means he won't have a cellmate to disgust with his vile odor. We're told Brown is allowed to work out in his cell and can read library books.

Man, this should be great rehabilitation for Chris Brown. Forced isolation, limited human contact, denial of regular hygiene, and side eyes from the librarian. He should come out of this a completely changed person. Or, in an even more realistic scenario, he'll come out free but trapped in the prison of his own mind ready to unleash his anger on the system on the first person he sees. Solid plan. Solitary is more for his protection in this case, but they really should put him in general population. A regimented schedule, trips to the cafeteria, an hour each day to go outside to socialize and exercise with his fellow inmates, a chance to enroll in a class, and to be taught to obey authority without question. Wait, I think I just described public school. Either or.

 

Related Posts:

Tags:
Chris Brown Will Be In Jail For A Month
Chris Brown Will Be In Jail For A Month

 

Chris Brown was kicked out of rehab on Friday because he couldn't keep his hands off the women even though he was instructed to stay at least two feet away every woman in the facility (no, seriously), and since staying in rehab was a condition set by the judge pending his trial next month, he will now stay in jail until then. Dude, there's only two episodes of The Walking Dead left. Sucks for you!

Chris Brown will stay in jail until April 23 … he was SHUT DOWN in court Monday afternoon in his bid to win release. Chris was arrested after getting booted from rehab Friday. The judge had ordered him to stay in rehab while he decided whether Brown violated his probation in the Rihanna case. The judge had Chris arrested almost immediately after the rehab facility kicked him out. The judge said Chris had an "inability to stay out of trouble." Hizzoner was especially concerned at a statement Chris made at the rehab joint, "I am good at using guns and knives." So Chris will sit in jail until April 23. The judge wants Chris in the slammer until a D.C. jury decides if Chris committed criminal assault in an unrelated case. That trial is set for April 17 and should only last a few days. It's unclear if the judge will let Chris back to attend the trial. The L.A. judge will hold a probation violation hearing on April 23, and if Chris is convicted in D.C. he's in big trouble. Worst case scenario … he could be sentenced to 4 years in prison for violating probation in the Rihanna case. One of the conditions — obey all laws.

At this point, Chris Brown should sell heroin in a school zone or buy a Hyundai Genesis. That way he can fully drive the point home that he might not be the best at making life decisions.

Related Posts:

Tags: