Aaron Carter Asked Chloe Grace Moretz Out On Twitter, She Didn’t Respond
Aaron Carter Asked Chloe Grace Moretz Out On Twitter, She Didn’t Respond

 

Chloe Grace Moretz did some interview in Variety where she said she wanted to date Aaron Carter when she was a 4-year-old. Aaron Carter took that to mean she still does. Aaron Carter is in a bad place, guys.

 

She hasn’t responded. Chloe Grace Moretz might want to be careful, because this makes her look like she isn’t an ally of the LGBT community. It’s 2017, it would definitely be better for her career if she went out with a weird, hollowed out drug addict than to not fully support the bisexual dude who publicly asked her to go eat dinner. He might kill himself since that’s a thing.

 

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Chloe Grace Moretz Should’ve Stayed Inside

If I just say Chloe Moretz from now on, you’ll know who I’m talking about right? I don’t have to keep typing Chloe Grace Moretz for you to know I’m talking about that super short lady with the weird head and kinda big ass? I have things to do. Like says she maybe should have stayed inside the gym until the cameras left, because damn. She also should think about staying inside until the sun goes down, because I can’t imagine a scenario where her skin and the sun get along.

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Chloe Grace Moretz Called The Cops On A Dude Who Brought Her Cookies
Chloe Grace Moretz Called The Cops On A Dude Who Brought Her Cookies

 

The Chloe Grace Moretz butt posts were fun. It was a simpler time. This story doesn’t involve butts. I wish it did. It involves a dude on a skateboard offering Chloe Grace Moretz cookies then having the cops called on him.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the “Neighbors 2” star had an uninvited guest roll up to her home on a skateboard with a container full of treats. We’re told Chloe was inside but didn’t answer. The guy asked a neighbor if this was Chloe’s home, and the neighbor started grilling the guy. Cops say Moretz called the cops and reported the guy, who looked about 18. The cops never got to speak with the guy because he made a hasty retreat. LAPD’s threat management is now on this case.

It’s 2017, so it might be one of these white terrorists I keep hearing so much about. They travel on skateboards apparently. I just assumed we all knew we had a better chance to get killed by a white person in America than we did a Muslim immigrant. We should also assume if we went to Jurassic Park that we’d have a better chance to get killed by a velociraptor than a Muslim immigrant, because that’s where the velociraptors are. The only difference is, velociraptors didn’t hear what happened in the Jurassic Park movies then plant bombs where Sam Neil lives. I’d really like to know what kind of cookies this guy brought before we label him a terrorist though.

 

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Chloe Grace Moretz In Yoga Pants Because You Like Them

You weirdos like Chloe Grace Moretz, specifically her ass that I didn’t know she had until January. Now that I know these two things, I guess I have to post every “Chloe Grace Moretz wears tight pants or shorts” thing. This is one of those things. A thing where Chloe Grace Moretz wears tight pants but not shorts. You’re welcome. And how’s your day going, btw? I feel we don’t talk anymore. 

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Chloe Grace Moretz Is Gonna Speak At The Democratic National Convention



Not gonna lie, the DNC is gonna have a tough time topping the the RNC. The sheer star power of Scott Baio, the dude from Duck Dynasty who hates gays and loves 14-year old girls, that one lady from the one soap opera, Antonio Sabato, Jr., Trump’s mail order bride, billionaires who say the economy is broken, and that one dude who said white people are better at everything, might be too much for the Democrats to overcome. Luckily, the DNC will have people you don’t have to Google, so that’s a plus! One of those people is Chloe Grace Moretz

Chloe Grace Moretz, Lena Dunham, America Ferrera, Debra Messing and Star Jones are among the Hollywood stars who will take the stage to support Hillary Clinton…NBA stars Jason and Jarron Collins and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar will speak at the convention as well. Katy Perry, Eva Longoria, Alicia Keys, and Demi Lovato are all set to make appearances…

The lack of  straight white men in this list makes me think Hillary Clinton doesn’t love America and hates freedom and what’s to be PC by inviting a bunch of people who aren’t straight white men. Typical leftist logic! Am I doing this right? Anyway, Chloe Grace Moretz is talking, so hopefully she’ll let us know how to get our heads out of a hole and look around to realize what’s ACTUALLY happening in the REAL world. Looking forward to it. Also looking forward to her ass. 


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Chloe Grace Moretz In Leggings & Links

The Selena Gomez meet & greets seem like fun  (NSFW)  [  Taxi Driver Movie   ]

A moment with Alden Steimle  [  Hollywood Tuna   ]

Demi Lovato in a bikini is unfortunate  [  Popoholic  ]

Rebecca Hall in a bikini is also unfortunate  [   The Nip Slip   ]

Jordan Peele is a national treasure  [  The Superficial   ]

Hey, Bella Thorne got topless again on Snapchat  [  DrunkenStepfather   ]

Zac Efron doesn’t want to work out anymore  [  Dlisted  ]

Blake Lively said some more things  [  Cele|bitchy  ]

Not sure what Gigi Hadid is wearing here   [  Moe Jackson ] 

James Cameron: Han Solo is one of the best scripts I’ve ever read  [  The Blemish  ] 

#fbf Chloe Grace Moretz‘s ass: 1, her cut off jean shorts: 0 [  IDLY  ]

 

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Chloe Grace Moretz’s Ass Doesn’t Have The Time Today
Chloe Grace Moretz’s Ass Doesn’t Have The Time Today


We’ll never know if Chloe Grace Moretz‘s genetic code was specifically designed for ass appropriation of black women in Oakland or not, all we really know is that she’s short, and got a big ass that struggles to be contained in shorts. This is the look of a woman who hopes you get that sometimes leggings are more of a necessity than a conscious fashion choice. 


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Good For You, Brooklyn Beckham

Chloe Grace Moretz is 19 and Brooklyn Beckham is 17, but let’s try not to think too much about that since some things aren’t as “problematic” as others. Let’s focus on that the fact that Chloe is walking around Studio City with her ass hanging out, and Brooklyn is wearing jeggings (yes, you’re wearing jeggings, hipsters. sorry you had to hear it this way). It’s cool. Maybe Chloe just likes balls that size. 

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It’s Chloe Grace Moretz At The ‘Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising’ LA Premiere
It’s Chloe Grace Moretz At The ‘Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising’ LA Premiere


Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising isn’t a very good title. Glad we got that out of the way. And I’m not sure if Chloe Grace Moretz is a good actor or not, but she generally says stuff I agree with, and sometimes she says stuff I really agree with. I also agree with her ass. She’s just agreeable all around. She’s also dating the Beckham’s kid, Brooklyn, who kinda looks like Victoria Beckham if she were trying to confuse NC’s bathroom policy. David will probably end up banging this. It appears you’re now all caught up with your Chloe Grace Moretz stuff. Go forth and preach the good news. 


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Chloe Grace Moretz Isn’t Here For Kim Kardashian’s Naked Selfie Bullshit
Chloe Grace Moretz Isn’t Here For Kim Kardashian’s Naked Selfie Bullshit


Chloe Grace Moretz, who already came for Taylor Swift, went in on Kim Kardashian again in the new issue of Glamour. I might be in love.

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