GLAAD Hates Chelsea Handler Now

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Good. Everybody should. GLAAD says:

Last night’s episode of Chelsea Lately repeatedly made a mockery of Chaz Bono’s transgender identity when discussing the transgender advocate’s upcoming appearance on Dancing With the Stars. Host Chelsea Handler herself started the discussion off with a joke about Chaz Bono’s identity and anatomy, but was joined a few moments later by two members of her all-comedian panel in using transphobic humor to mock him. Chelsea Handler: “The Dancing with the Stars cast has been announced and, this is season 13, it includes Chaz Bono, otherwise known as Chastity Bono [laughs] before she got her penis [laughs]…”. This is especially disheartening coming from a show whose host has made a point of being publicly supportive of the LGBT community, though the content of her show has skirted with crossing the line on more than one occasion. After learning of the incident earlier today, GLAAD reached out to the show, which has yet to respond. GLAAD calls on Handler and the show to apologize for the jokes, and asks them to invite Bono, or another transgender celebrity like Top Model’s Isis King, to make an appearance and offer viewers the chance to get to know them beyond a few hurtful punch-lines.

Let me preface this by saying that Chelsea Handler is a talentless, unfunny cunt who sucked off half of Hollywood to get her own show and shows gratitude for her undeserved fame by treating anyone and everyone around her like shit. Whew. That’s out of the way. Now, in case you didn’t know, Chaz/Chastity/Whatever doesn’t have a penis yet. So, she’s just a really fat lesbian with a beard. And really fat lesbians with beards are funny. And really fat lesbians with beards who think they can make it through the tango without medical personnel standing by are funnier. In closing, maybe Chelsea Handler can save that joke for when Trans Bono get its dick. Then maybe she can look at it to see if she recognizes it.

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Chaz Bono Has Haters

Chaz Bono’s gig on Dancing With the Stars is causing an uproar. An uproar. About Dancing With the Stars. Fuck everything. E! Online reports that his partner on the show, Lacey Schwimmer, has come to his defense:

“There’s a lot of people against him at this moment because they don’t know too much about him and his whole process,” she says. “I think that through this show you’re going to see a different side of Chaz. I think people are going to see past, ‘Is he a boy or is he a girl?’ I think they’re going to stop questioning and just accept him for him.” As for the undeniable impact Chaz’s appearance on the show will have, Schwimmer says, “I think it’s just showing that people need to be OK with this. We need to evolve. It’s 2011. I personally feel that we need to get over it.”

I really do commend Lacey’s open mind and kind heart to transgender issues, but based on these photos she might be a bit biased. The only thing stopping me from outright declaring her a drag queen is the fact that her chin is big enough to obscure her Adam’s apple.

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Chastity Bono Is Dumb

Other than Sarah Jessica Parker, Kirsten Dunst, and Cameron Diaz, Chastity Bono is the ugliest woman to ever appear on IDLYITW. She/He also has mental problems. Popeater reports:

For the first time, Chaz Bono, born to Cher and the late Sonny Bono as Chastity, opened up about his new life as a man, in an exclusive interview with ‘Good Morning America.’ “This was a very difficult decision to make, but it is the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m happier. I’m more confident. I feel great,” he said. “It would be easy to say, ‘Why did I wait so long to do this?’ but I am a person who believes things will happen when they’re suppose to happen. I was ready when I was ready. Life is just great now,” he said. Bono, who has served as a LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) civil rights advocate, began the gender-changing process earlier this year, following his 40th birthday. His publicist announced Bono’s decision to undergo gender reassignment in June. He is currently living with his girlfriend Jennifer. Bono has undergone breast removal surgery and began taking hormones to alter his appearance. “It was just a long process of being comfortable enough to do something about it. I was turning 40, and I thought it’s now or never,” he said. “Gender is between your ears and not between your legs. I’ve felt male for as far back as I can remember,” he said. “As I child, I felt like a boy. My friends were boys and in school, I related to boys. If a game broke out [with] girls against the boys, I was always with the boys.”

Really? Because I don’t think anybody has ever given birth between their ears. I’ll make this simple for you: If you’re born with a vagina, you’re a woman. If you’re born with a penis you’re a man. That’s it. Case closed. Just because you like playing with trains instead of dolls and you feel like a boy, it doesn’t mean that God made a mistake, it just means you need to double your dosage. Instead of cutting things off and taking hormone pills, maybe you should see a psychiatrist and deal with the ugliness inside instead of trying to get rid of it on the outside. “Society” calls you a woman because you were born with ovaries. Get over it. Just like I got over being born with a three-pound cock. Screw you God !!! Why have you cursed me so??!!

NOTE: I feel like I should say something here, so let me take this opportunity to offer my apologies to the LBGT community. For that show V. Man, that show sucks !!

Due to my gag reflex, there’s no way in hell I can download and edit more than one picture of this freak, so here’s Olivia Wilde at the 14th annual GQ Men of the Year Party last night. Set your penis to stun:

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Chastity Bono Becoming a Man

Wiener alert! (“Wiener alert” is the new “Hello”, btw.) Cher’s daughter Chastity Bono is making the transition from female to male. From TMZ:

“Yes, it’s true — Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity,” confirmed Bono’s publicist, Howard Bragman. “He is proud of his decision and grateful for the support and respect that has already been shown by his loved ones. It is Chaz’s hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his ‘coming out’ did nearly 20 years ago. We ask that the media respect Chaz’s privacy during this long process as he will not be doing any interviews at this time.”

I don’t know which part of the transition he is in, so for this story I’m just going to assume he grew a penis already. Or purchased one at a yard sale. Sometimes I wish I could try one on. Just trade genitalia with a man for a day. Things I would do with my penis-for-a-day: 1. Pee on a wall or tree 2. Ejaculate into a man’s eyes (How do you like it? Yes, the eyelids get stuck together.) 3. Helicopter! (ROFLcopter) And I think that’s about it.

In all seriousness though, I am very happy for Chaz, and wish him the best of luck! And here’s Miranda Kerr in a bikini:

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