Charlize Theron Fought AIDS In This Dress

I can’t confirm this, but I think Adriana Lima and Emily Ratajkowski fought AIDS better with their dress choices. But they went to the American amfAR thing and Charlize Theron attended the amfAR Hong Kong Gala thing. Maybe Charlize was the best they could do. Hopefully the people in Hong Kong with AIDS don’t take this personally.

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Chalize Theron Is An Action Star Now In ‘Atomic Blonde’
Chalize Theron Is An Action Star Now In ‘Atomic Blonde’

 

There’s this cool trend now when white actors get old they become action stars, but the trailer for the new Charlize Theron movie, Atomic Blonde, seems like it won’t be like Taken 3 where they needed 42 smash cuts to make us believe Liam Neeson could jump a fence. But what it does have is the new thing where you use a somber cover song that’s meant to be ironic and another completely on the nose song. Charlize Theron is a killer queen, get it?! If not, here’s Queen’s Killer Queen to make sure you know Charlize Theron is a queen in the figurative sense and also kills people. I know it’s subtle, so you gotta look for it. (Side note: I hate everything today. My apologies).

 

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Charlize Theron Is The Villain In ‘Fast 8’ Or Whatever This One Is Gonna Be Called
Charlize Theron Is The Villain In ‘Fast 8’ Or Whatever This One Is Gonna Be Called


Earlier this week Charlize Theron said she was too pretty to get good roles in Hollywood, then yesterday it was announced that she was playing the villain in Fast 8. Those two things together probably tell you all you need to know about the villain in Fast 8. Here’s the announcement thing:


Our crew will face its greatest adversary ever in our next film as we welcome Charlize Theron to the Fast family. 4.14.17. #F8

Posted by Fast & Furious on Thursday, April 7, 2016



Like is how much money is Universal making that they’ve decided to make eight Vin Diesel movies? There’s more of this shit than Star Wars. That doesn’t seem right. These movies are about people racing in cars to steal stuff, then one of the people actually died while racing a car and they put his hologram in the last one even his body had to be identified by dental records. So maybe this set will be haunted. Something has to be done.

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Charlize Theron And Sean Penn Split Up

Sean Penn and Charlize Theron are both insufferable assholes in their respective private lives (yes, Charlize is a huge bitch. Look it up), so I’m surprised they made it  year and  half. Sorry, I’m still angry about this Charleston shooting.

Sean Penn and his fiancee Charlize Theron have a called it quits after nearly a year and a half together, multiple sources exclusively confirm to Us Weekly. One insider tells Us that the high-profile pair, who got together in December 2013, decided that their romance was over following their most recent jaunt to the Cannes Film Festival in the south of France. The source tells Us that Theron, 39, was the one to break things off with the fellow Oscar winner.

Sean Penn tried to be Liam Neeson in The Gunman, yet the woman he wanted to marry was the bigger action star this year in Mad Max: Two Hour Chase Scene. Was this the reason? Or did Charlize realize Sean Penn’s face looks like something a Native American tribe plans to use later? Possibly to carry tobacco in.

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Charlize Theron Is Getting Her Picture Taken

I probably could have made this headline more interesting, so you’d click only to find the article was boring, but Upworthy doesn’t pay me. Anyway, Charlize Theron was walking LA yesterday and THE REASON WILL SHOCK YOU! Esquire photoshoot. She’s doing a photoshoot for Esquire. Here are some pics the photographer on the shoot didn’t take.

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Charlize Theron Continues To Be A Horrific Human Being
Charlize Theron Continues To Be A Horrific Human Being

 

Earlier this week, Tia Mowry approached Charlize Theron before a spin class at SoulCycle in LA, and in typical Theron fashion, she was a raging cunt who now wants Mowry banned forever.

If ‘90s star Tia Mowry thought she was hurt when Oscar-winning diva Charlize Theron was “mean” to her at a spin class recently, Mowry could have a more eye-opening experience in store, that is if Theron gets her way. Following the exchange at a SoulCycle class in Los Angeles where Theron, who is busy dating Sean Penn these days, was allegedly rude to Mowry, the “Sister, Sister” star ran to “In Touch” magazine with the story. That might have been the end of it, but the story went viral, and now, Theron is actively working to get Mowry banned from the upscale spin studio. “Charlize came in so pissed off after Tia went to the tabloids about her, and she demanded we bar Tia from ever coming back. When the manager refused Charlize just got angrier and said she’d go to the top to make it happen,” said an insider at SoulCycle. Mowry told “In Touch” that she approached Theron to say hello and was met with an eye roll and Theron saying, “Oh my god.” Theron took the issue of the privacy breach to SoulCycle management and raged that she has zero expectation of anonymity during her workout with Mowry around. Management refused to ban Mowry and Theron got even angrier. “This nobody who was famous for a minute 20 years ago can complain to the tabloids about me but I can’t expect you to protect me from hangers on in your studio?” Theron said, according to employee. Management said it would handle the situation, but a decision has yet to be made. “This just feels like a vendetta because Tia spoke up. Charlize used to be kind of quiet and chill when she came to spin, but it looks like dating Sean Penn isn’t doing her any favors.”

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m not even joking when I say that EVERY SINGLE person I know who lives in L.A. has a “I met Charlize Theron/know somebody who met Charlize Theron and she is the worst human being on the planet”. Seriously. Every single person. I also dated a friend of hers, and guess what? She was also insane. I guess that’s why her songs are so great. So, in closing, every bit of hotness Charlize has is instantly rendered meaningless, because she’s a miserable, spiteful, rude, vindictive human being. Too bad she wasn’t born here. She could run for office.

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Charlize Theron Said Googling Herself “Feels Like Rape”
Charlize Theron Said Googling Herself “Feels Like Rape”

 

You know how when you have a favorite actor or actress and you love everything about them, then you slowly realize you're in love with the Hollywood illusion they've created, because when they have to be actual humans and open their mouths, they're just some regular person with mostly boring lives who may or may not know how to use a proper metaphor? Cool. Say what up to Charlize Theron.

The Oscar-winning actor Charlize Theron has compared press intrusion into her life to rape. The star, who is in the UK to promote the film A Million Ways To Die In The West, made the comments when she was asked by Sky News if she ever Googled herself. She said: "I don't do that, so that's my saving grace. When you start living in that world, and doing that, you start I guess feeling raped." Asked if she felt that strongly about the issue, Theron said: "Well, you know when it comes to your son and your private life. Maybe that's just me. Some people might relish all that stuff but there are certain things in my life that I think of as very sacred and I am very protective over them. "I don't always win that war but as long as I don't have to see that stuff or read that stuff or hear that stuff then I can live with my head in a clear space, which is probably a lot healthier than living in that dark room."

Wow, she managed to throw in "rape" and "war" to describe opening her Mac Book and typing her name into the Google search bar and pressing enter. Impressive. I mean, if you're legit famous, I'm not sure why you would ever want to invite that kind of stress into your life anyway, but let's just all agree that there are a lot of violations in this world, but there is only one rape. It would serve all of us well if we could all finally be able to make that clear distinction. It's imperative that we have one definition of what is rape and what isn't, not make it confusing. Like when it's 10am and Taco Bell already has their lunch menu up. Look man, can I get a waffle taco or not? Who do I need to speak with about this? This is bullshit quite honestly. I'm gonna need the district manager's name for this location.

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Charlize Theron Looks Different



Without question, Charlize Theron is one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood and possibly Earth, so if you were ever wondering how important long, blonde hair is, here she is in Capetown over the weekend. (HINT: It’s very important).

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Charlize Theron Is Pissed At Kristen Stewart



As you already know, Kristen Stewart‘s commitment to Sparkle Motion has been questioned after she cheated on Robert Pattinson with the married father and director of Snow White and The Huntsman, Rupert Sanders (second from right). And Charlize Theron isn’t too happy about it. Radar Online reports:

“Charlize is absolutely fuming with Kristen for having an affair with Rupert,” an insider revealed. “She is very tight with Liberty, has often socialized with the family over dinner and cannot believe Kristin has done this. “When they were filming Snow White and the Huntsman, Charlize felt like an older sister to Kristin, and they were always sharing advice. “Charlize confided to her new pal about her adoption plans. She even asked Kristin if she wanted to be her baby Jackson’s godmother – that was how close they were. “But Charlize had no idea what was going on between Rupert and Kristin and now feels completely betrayed by the whole incident. “It’s certainly left Charlize between a rock and a hard place, because she feels great sympathy for Liberty and the kids and yet, she has a sisterly love for Kristin.”

Since this story broke, Stewart and Sanders have gone full on damage control calling their cheat fuck a “momentary indiscretion” and apologizing to anyone they “might have affected”.

The damage control comments come in light of a published report that claims the Twilight Saga star and the 41-year-old filmmaker could hardly keep their hands off one another as they traveled around Los Angeles together on July 17, and a series of photos confirms the affair, showing them in a number of steamy clinches. “He was all over her,” said one photographer who witnessed the hi-jinks, while another said Kristen “would only take a break [from kissing] when they thought someone was walking by. “It seemed like they couldn’t get enough.”

Angelina Jolie has been called a homewrecker for seven years, but at least she had the balls not to apologize and actually showed there was something between her and Brad Pitt besides banging in his trailer when Aniston wasn’t around. Apologizing and pretending you were somehow unable to control yourself, just further cheapens and already cheap fuck between a married man and an untalented actress who couldn’t manage to blink her way out of this one. I have no sympathy for anyone in this story, since they are only here for our amusement and watching the pain and agony they have caused over this is good for business. Hopefully nobody flies into a jealous rage and kills anybody over this, but if they do, CHA-CHING!!

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Charlize Theron Was At The MTV Movie Awards



I had to live tweet the MTV Movie Awards last night, but before I could blow my brains out, Charlize Theron came on stage in this red dress. I don’t be she literally came. Unless me yelling, “ooh yeah baby you like that?!” at the screen made her. Hey, I’ve done it with my voice before. Let’s not act too surprised here.

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