Donald Trump Gave Charlie Sheen Fake Platinum And Diamonds As A Wedding Gift
Donald Trump Gave Charlie Sheen Fake Platinum And Diamonds As A Wedding Gift


Charlie Sheen was on The Graham Norton Show Friday night, and told a story about Donald Trump being, well, Donald Trump. 

“I’m really not a fan,” Sheen said of Trump, who spoke to him at a dinner around five years ago. “He says ‘these are platinum diamond Harry Winston’ and he pulls off his cufflinks and he gives them to me.” Six months later, Sheen asked a jeweler appraising jewelry at his home to take a look at the ’links. “She took the loupe, spent about four seconds, and kind of recoiled from it — much like people do from Trump — and says ‘in their finest moment, this is cheap pewter and bad zirconias,’” said Sheen, who dismissed the real estate mogul as a “charlatan.” “And they’re stamped ‘Trump.’ And I just thought, ‘what does this really say about the man, that he said, ‘here’s a great wedding gift,’ and it’s just a bag of dog shit?”

Like, this is usually part when I unleash all over Trump, but safe to say giving somebody fake cufflinks is better than giving them HIV. Charlie Sheen might have given a lot of women HIV. Sad!


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Charlie Sheen Is Being Investigated By The LAPD For Putting A Hit His Ex-Fiancee
Charlie Sheen Is Being Investigated By The LAPD For Putting A Hit His Ex-Fiancee


Charlie Sheen was secretly recorded threatening to kill his ex-fiancee, former porn star Brett Rossi, after she filed a lawsuit against him. Why did she file the lawsuit? Mostly because Charlie Sheen in an unhinged lunatic and horrific human being who made her life a living hell. And yes, his shirt says “Stay Positive”. 
The Los Angeles Police Department has confirmed to USA TODAY that it has opened a criminal investigation against Charlie Sheen. It involves alleged threats he made against his ex-fiancée, according to her lawyer…Ludwig said he could not release any information on what the investigation involves and the identity of the accuser in the case is confidential. But David Ring, a lawyer for Scottine Rossi, who once was engaged to the former Two and a Half Men star, confirmed Sheen is being investigated for allegedly threatening to have his client killed, and that she is so fearful she obtained an emergency protective order against him last week.
Here’s some stuff that was on the tape. It’ll melt your heart!
 
“This piece of shit needs to be f*cking buried!” Sheen declares on recording made by a woman whose identity is being protected by Radar and The ENQUIRER….The woman who taped the conversation asked Sheen why he didn’t tell her about his HIV status before having sex with her without a condom. “Because it’s none of your f*cking business!” “I can’t be f*cking extorted,” Sheen said on the recording. “It’s called treason. You know what treason is? It’s punishable by death!” And Sheen was not shy about making sure his threat was taken seriously. “I’d rather spend 20-grand to have her head kicked in. Then people will realize, ‘Oh, it’s dangerous!’”
I don’t want to offend any swords here, but let’s just agree that Charlie Sheen deserves a plus-sized sword to the back of the neck. I think there’s nothing wrong with being a small sword. Beautiful small words. I know that sword sizes fluctuate in America and I usually go between a 6 and an 8. Using smaller sword here wouldn’t feel right to me. Plus-sized swords seeing a small sword used for this job and thinking that’s acceptable? What are your thoughts?  
 

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Charlie Sheen Has Banged 200 People Since 2013
Charlie Sheen Has Banged 200 People Since 2013


Dude, for real. Chill.

At least six women have lawyered up in the last 24 hours and plan to sue Charlie Sheen for intentional infliction of emotional distress, fraud, sexual battery … and more are on the way. A prominent Los Angeles lawyer tells TMZ, the 6 women contacted him Monday, and he has appointments with 4 more today. The women claim they had both protected and unprotected sex with Sheen, as recently as last month, and he did not disclose his HIV status. A source directly connected with Sheen says in the last 2 years, Sheen has had at least 200 partners, so the number of women who either will sue or plan to sue will almost certainly grow exponentially.

I should ask a psychiatrist, but I think the the amount of pain you’re trying to fuck away when you bang 200 hookers in between new Adele albums has to be it’s own chapter. So, of course he’s gonna get the HIV sued out of him. He’s already selling two of his three mansions in Thousand Oaks. I mean, it’s not like he can donate plasma.


Sheen’s ex-gf, Bree Olson, doesn’t have it. She does have a shitty camera though.


photo credit = Instagram

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Charlie Sheen Spent $1.6M A Year On Pre-Op Transsexual Hookers
Charlie Sheen Spent $1.6M A Year On Pre-Op Transsexual Hookers


It’s almost like Charlie Sheen wanted AIDS.

The sex-crazed actor claims he was diagnosed with the deadly illness in 2011, but the dire news hardly slowed his horndog ways. According to 2013 financial reports for his production company 9th Step — prepared nearly two years after he says he found out he was infected — he spent $1,629,507 on hookers. According to an insider close to Sheen, “The item was listed as ‘Friendly Entertainment,’ which was Charlie’s shorthand for sex workers.” There’s no mention of how many women, or men, that covered — and whether he told them of his HIV status.

Besides beat looking porn stars, Charlie Sheen apparently had a specific type.

Soccer mom madam Anna Gristina revealed that the 50-year-old star — who admitted being HIV-positive Tuesday — frequently used her former agency in 2009 and 2010. “He never asked me, but he said to my girls, ‘Do you have any guys that you could call right now?’ I have no idea if he wanted them for himself, or if he wanted to watch them have sex with the other girls or with his wife or what,” she told the NY Post Wednesday. Gristina’s admission comes on the heels of The National ENQUIRER‘s exclusive report that a “secretly bisexual” Sheen was especially fond of transsexuals, and “regularly spent thousands of dollars to sleep with transsexual hookers who he would hire and have them service him at his Mulholland Estate mansion.”

Hey, the heart wants what it wants, I guess. This is pretty bad. But I don’t think it will be as bad as the Salon article later today that explains how Sheen made Caitlyn Jenner a victim of age discrimination. It’s very problematic.


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Charlie Sheen Got Extorted For $10M

Say what you want about The National Enquirer, but when they hit on a story, they fucking hit on a story. Just ask O.J., Rush Limbaugh, and Steve Jobs. Well, I mean, you can’t ask Steve Jobs because he died if cancer. As The National Enquirer reported 6 months before he died. Charlie Sheen, however, isn’t dead. But he appeared on Today where he confirmed what we already knew. He’s had HIV for four years. Because The National Enquirer told us a while back. He also said people tried to get paid for their silence. Humanity is great.

“I have to put a stop to this onslaught, this barrage of attacks and of sub-truths and very harmful and mercurial stories that are about me, threatening the health of so many others that couldn’t be further from the truth,” he said. Sheen said he’s trusted the diagnosis with people he thought he could confide in, but has paid out upwards of $10 million to keep the illness a secret. “What people forget is that it’s money taken from my children,” he said about the “shakedowns” he has experienced. “I trusted them and they were deep in my inner circle, and I thought they could be helpful. My trust turned to their treason.” He said appearing on TODAY will help put a stop to those payouts. “That’s my goal. That’s not my only goal. I think I release myself from this prison today,”

I’m not gonna site here and defend of feel sorry for Charlie Sheen, but what level of asshole do you have to be to sit and listen to a dude tell you he has HIV and your first response is to give him your routing number? He could have probably had them killed for less than $10M. And I don’t even mean with AIDS.

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Charlie Sheen Wants To Be Trump’s VP

In response to Owen Wilson‘s interview with The Daily Beast, Charlie Sheen would now like to be Donald Trump‘s Vice President. Charlie Sheen’s real name is “Carlos Estevez”, so that may not be the best for the brand. Sheen might have killed a porn star once, so that should be enough for a nice Senate run instead.

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Charlie Sheen Went To The Hospital For Something He Ate

Tiger blod doesn’t have built-in antibodies for Hep C apparently.

In yet further proof that celebrities are just like us, Charlie Sheen spent a portion of Monday night in a Los Angeles emergency room with a “severe case of food poisoning,” says his publicist Jeff Ballard.  “It was clams, bad clams,” adds Ballard. “Nothing too exciting.”

Bad clams, huh? I see what you did there, Charlie Sheen’s publicist, you sly dog you. Another good joke would be that Drake went to the hospital for excessive spotting before his period.

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Charlie Sheen Is SIngle
Charlie Sheen Is SIngle

 

Charlie Sheen was about to make a porn star his fourth wife, because “fourth wife” and “porn star” are solid foundations and what the founders of marriage had in mind when they promised their daughter’s virginity in exchange for lands and/or goats. And if she was virgin and hot, sometimes they got both. Land and goats! What a great deal! Also, he’s not getting married anymore!

Charlie Sheen started off the year by tweeting that he had married Brett Rossi, otherwise known as his girlfriend Scotty, in Iceland. He was just kidding. But he has been engaged to her and the two were planning to tie the knot before the end of the year.Not anymore. The engagement is off. “Scotty and I had a great year together as we traveled the world and crossed a lot of things off our bucket list,” he says in a statement to Gossip Cop. “She’s a terrific gal — but we’ve mutually decided to go our separate ways and not spend the rest of our lives together.”

The “rest of our lives together” sounds great, but Charlie Sheen is 49, so he’ll be dead pretty soon, so why not just bang other porn stars instead without having to support them financially? I feel this is a better business practice than the goats thing.

 

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Charlie Sheen Didn’t Pull A Knife On A Dentist
Charlie Sheen Didn’t Pull A Knife On A Dentist

 

This morning we learned that Charlie Sheen apparently went on a tiger blood (crack) fueled rampage at a dentist’s office where he allegedly couldn’t handle his shit and pulled a knife on a dental tech after she gave him nitrous oxide. In theory, all of this sounds completely true and doesn’t need to be investigated further. But, yeah, it didn’t happen.

Charlie Sheen admits he went crazy in a dentist’s chair last week … but insists he was NOT on drugs — he had a horrible reaction to nitrous oxide ... and the technician who is making the allegation is just bitter because she was fired for violating the law. Charlie’s rep, Jeff Ballard, tells TMZ … Charlie was on meds for a shoulder injury and the combo of the Rx he was on along with the nitrous caused the reaction. We’re told Charlie’s arms did flail and he accidentally knocked over the dental instruments on the tray, but that was it. Furthermore … Charlie’s lawyer, Marty Singer, tells TMZ, “The story is being made up by this woman [the dental technician] who was fired on Friday for violating HIPAA by telling her son Charlie was in the office. It got back to Charlie and the dentist fired her.” As we reported … the technician told cops the dentist told her Charlie came at him with a knife and his bodyguard said he was on rock cocaine. But law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the dentist was interviewed Thursday and was clear with cops … the technician was LYING. There was no mention of drugs and NO KNIFE. A law enforcement source familiar with the situation tells TMZ … given that the dentist refutes the technician’s story ... the case will almost certainly be rejected by prosecutors.

Charlie Sheen does more drugs than people who try to sell you power drills at 2am, but we’re lead o believe he just had a bad reaction to nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide is widely known to make people go crazy and assault those around them. It’s basically just like marijuana.

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Charlie Sheen Did The Ice Bucket Challenge With Money

 

I don’t think anyone has ever called Charlie Sheen subtle, but well played Sheen. Well played.

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