Cee Lo Might Have Sexually Assaulted A Chick

Cee Lo has a gigantic head and looks like a comic book villain/child molester, but apparently he likes grown women. He likes them so much that the LAPD has launched an investigation about it. TMZ reports:

Law enforcement sources tell us … a woman recently filed a police report with the LAPD, accusing “The Voice” judge – real name Thomas DeCarlo Callaway — of a sexual assault. Our sources say detectives have already visited a restaurant in Downtown Los Angeles in connection with the case and questioned several employees, including the manager. We do not know if the alleged incident occurred at the restaurant. The LAPD is mum on the identity of the alleged victim, when and where the incident allegedly occurred, and what Cee Lo allegedly did. Cee Lo tells TMZ he categorically denies ANY wrongdoing. In fact, the singer says he hasn’t been to the restaurant in question in 3 months … and insists, “Nothing ever happened there or anywhere else.”

I’m not trying to take sides here, but this alleged assault happened in a restaurant. I mean, did Cee Lo bite this chick’s hand when she tried to take his plate? This whole thing seems like a big misunderstanding to me.

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Cee Lo Hates All Gays Now, Too

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It’s Black Men Hate Gays Month, so now The Voice judge, Cee Lo Green, is being called homophobic because he used a word that homosexuals co-opted from 1920’s movies. Wonderful. Us Magazine reports:

Cee Lo Green came under fire Friday for sending a tweet that some deemed to be homophobic. The “Forget You” singer sent the tweet to music editor Andrea Swensson after she negatively critiqued his Thursday performance with Rihanna at the Target Center in Minneapolis. “I respect your criticism, but be fair!” The Voice coach wrote Friday. “People enjoyed last night! I’m guessing you’re gay? And my masculinity offended you? Well f*** you!”

And, of course, he had to give an explanation because homosexuals have no sense of humor about themselves.

“She was very critical of me. At the time I didn’t even know what gender the person was. I was being a little outspoken that night, a little outrageous,” he tells Us. “I always expect people to assume that everything I do is part of my character and sense of humor. I assumed that whoever it was would assume it was all in good fun. It wasn’t taken so well, apparently.”

Oh, Jesus. Really? Are we really doing this right now? First off, he was talking to a woman. Secondly, we can expect GLAAD to form hit squads and build death camps for anybody who uses the word “gay” or jokes about how being gay is kinda gross to heterosexuals? And how soon will Nia Vardalos and Perez Hilton start comparing him to Idi Amin and demand in a sternly worded letter with lots of exclamation points that Green be sent to a remote island with an exploding collar to film his PSA? They’ll also demand that the exploding collar is bedazzled with rhinestones. Oh, snap! Work it guurrlll!

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