Carrie Prejean Is Pregnant

Former Miss California and victim of heterophobic bullies and the fag hags who love them because she honestly answered a loaded question designed to push an agenda to a nationally televised audience, Carrie Prejean, is pregnant with her first child. You know, the way that doesn’t include science or an adoption agency TMZ reports:

Multiple sources tell TMZ the former Miss CA USA — who legally married NFL QB Kyle Boller in July — is now pregnant with the couple’s first child. We are told she’s a few months along. Very Biblically correct. Funny side note … six months ago, Carrie’s nemesis Shanna Moakler made a few cracks about the sexuality of Carrie’s future spawn.

In case you didn’t catch that, she’s married to Kyle Boller. So, in 20 years if you see a blonde kid who can throw a football 70 yards on his knees but can’t hit an open receiver from 10 yards away, there’s a good chance the name on the back of his jersey will say “Boller”.

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Screw Haiti. Carrie Prejean’s Nipples Are In Hawaii.

While Pat Robertson is too busy forgetting to take his ARICEPT and Gary Cass is posing for the camera, God’s true soldier is in Hawaii with her tits hanging out. I have no idea what Moses was thinking when he saw the Red Sea drown the Pharoah’s army, but I’d like to imagine me jacking off to a hot blonde in the name of Jesus was something he was fighting for. Thanks, Moses!

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Masturbating For Jesus

Unless you're spaceship just landed or you just got released from and underground bunker to survive the Zombie Apocalypse, you know that former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, admitted to playing with herself for her boyfriend on camera. So, through the magic of the Internet, somebody has posted stills from the tape claiming it's her. I can't tell, it sorta looks like her, but I've been wrong before. Turns out that girl last night was actually your sister. In my defense, the top of her head wasn't that recognizable.

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Carrie Prejean Has To Return Her Rack

Former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, sued the Miss California USA organization citing religious discrimination after she spoke out against gay marriage while competing in the Miss USA pageant. They have now filed a cross complaint. TMZ reports:

The production company that runs the pageant is filing a cross complaint against Prejean, demanding, among other things, that Carrie return the $5,200 the pageant fronted her for her breast augmentation. In other legal docs, Keith Lewis and crew are asking to strike a portion of Prejean’s lawsuit — the portion dealing with public disclosure of private facts. The new docs say, “the alleged ‘private facts’ consist of her breast augmentation (which ceased being private during the swimsuit competition of the nationally-televised Miss USA pageant, in which Ms. Prejean walked the stage in a bikini).” The cross complaint says, “Had [Carrie] heeded the guidance of the Gospel of John, who admonished only those who are without sin to cast stones in judgment, she might have avoided this legal battle …”

I’m not sure when putting Bible verses in lawsuits was ever a good thing, but if they want to settle this like that, they should just open the Ark of the Covenant in the courtroom. Based on what it did to the Nazis, they should be able to get rid of her tits real quick.

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Miss California Stripped (Her Crown This Time)

Jesus freak and semi-nude model, Carrie Prejean, was stripped of her Miss California crown today for violating her contract after she refused to show up over 30 events on behalf of the Miss USA organization. Oh, and she hates the ghey. People reports:

“I told Carrie she needed to get back to work and honor her contract with the Miss California USA Organization and I gave her the opportunity to do so,” Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA and Miss Universe organizations, said in a statement. “Unfortunately it just doesn’t look like it is going to happen.”

But her inculcated Chiristian beliefs make her a caring and giving person still, right? Um, no:

Trump said: “To me she was the sweetest thing. Everyone else — she treated like s**t.”

Let’s face it, California is like Sodom and Gomorrah to the rest of the world, but sometimes change is coming and you can do nothing to stop it. For this bitch to use her platform and celebrity to tell other people how they should live and what they should and shouldn’t be doing, it’s really no surprise that she’s a massive cunt. Of course she is. Look, I would have an opinion about gay marriage, but I don’t really care. Let Gary and Steve get married if they love each other, because you know what, it won’t effect my life at all. Much unlike the real estate investment CD’s I ordered. Bob from TX generated $10,000 in income in May with no money down and no closing costs! Why wait? Live the life you want today!

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Shanna Moakler Resigns as Miss California Director

On Tuesday, Donald Trump announced that reigning Miss California Carrie Prejean, a member of the National Organization for Marriage, would keep her crown despite leaked “topless” photos. One day later, Shanna Moakler, former Miss California and advocate of gay marriage, resigned her post as Miss California Pageant Director. In a passive aggressive and self-serving statement, she tells Us Magazine her reasons:

“Since the press conference yesterday, I had a chance to think about what has taken place, and I feel that at this time it is in my best interest to resign from the Miss California USA organization,” Moakler tells Us. “I cannot with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth,” she continues. “I want to be a role model for young women with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children. I am sorry and hope I have not let any young supporters down but wish them the best of luck in fulfilling their dreams.”

If you printed out Carrie Prejean’s topless photos, cut out the boobs and pieced them together like a jigsaw puzzle, you might get a picture of one whole tit, so I can’t believe Shanna Moakler would resign because of those. I’m not sure if her plan to be a role model for young girls included the time when she posed for Stuff and Playboy (NSFW). Or when she played a naked whore (NSFW) in Seeing Other People. Or when she was a worthless bitch who slept until noon everyday on her reality show. It’s hard to tell. I hate to jump to conclusions here, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say she resigned because of Prejean’s stance on gay marriage. That’s like me resigning my post as Mr. Giant Penis Pageant Director because the guy who just won prefers Star Trek to Star Wars. You know, or any other scenario that means petty and fucking ridiculous.

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Miss California Will Keep Her Crown

In a press conference a few minutes ago where he said “We’re in the 21st century”, Donald Trump announced that Miss California, Carrie Prejean, will not lose her crown over her leaked “topless” photos. This seems like a good decision, because this is the first time I’ve seen topless pictures where you couldn’t see any tits. So I guess all the guys in bedazzled hot pants and Captain’s hats can put their pitchforks and torches down. It looks like Carrie Prejean is gonna be Miss California for a while. On a side note, if any homeless teen Mexican boys in LA are reading this, you might want to stay inside tonight. You know how Perez is when he gets all pouty.

Thanks to Jennifer for the tip! I heard she gave Matthew McConaughey a blowjob once then he woke up three months later.

Photo credit: TMZ

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Miss California is Topless (For Jesus?)

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Miss California and ant-gay marriage advocate Carrie Prejean, is under attack again by the gays after topless photos taken when she was 17 have “surfaced” online. And just like last time, she has fired back. She says in a statement:

“I am a Christian, and I am a model,” Prejean said in a statement released overnight to the media. “Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos. Recently, photos taken of me as a teenager have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith. I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be.”

I’m not sure what posing for topless photos has to do with how you feel about gay marriage, but sure, okay. I give, she’s evil. She’s ruining the young impressionable minds of America by saying a man and a woman should get married. At this point, they should tie her to a wagon wheel and whip her, because it’s pretty obvious that she deserves it.

Click on the thumbnail for the not really scandalous at all photo:

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Links Not Bought By Miss California Pageant

Pageant officials confirmed they paid for controversial Miss California Carrie Prejean to have breast implants. But instead of silicon, they used liquid hate for homosexuals. [ICYDK]

Who wants some Elizabeth Hurley nipples? I thought you would. Site NSFW. [TaxiDriverMovie]

Kelis is divorcing Nas and bringing her milkshake back to the yard. [ImNotObsessed]

Rebecca Romijn says she lost 60lbs after childbirth doing absolutely nothing/ [FatBackMedia]

Kristin Stewart is at the movies…filming a movie? SNAP! [LaineyGossip]

Flashback time! Remember gossip last year? [CityRag]

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Miss California is Serious About This

Apparently not content with just making Perez Hilton throw a tantrum like a two-year old who dropped his tater tots, Miss California Carrie Prejean appeared on The Today Show this morning to announce that she’ll be joining the anti-gay marriage group National Organization for Marriage to campaign in Washington against gay marriage.
E! News

“I’m here to protect traditional marriage,” Prejean told the Today show of her partnering with NOM, the same group responsible for the much-parodied “A Gathering Storm” ad. “I was attacked for giving my own opinion onstage at a Miss USA contest. I’m gonna do whatever it takes to protect marriage. It is something that is very dear to my heart and I’m just here to protect it, that’s all I’m here to do.”…”I think this is a huge issue right now. People are very passionate of this issue. I think regardless of our opinions, we just need to respect each other when we disagree. It’s all about respect.”

Not to get too political here, but who gives a shit? Doesn’t the world have more pressing issues than worrying about if Kenneth and Gary get married? I’m from the South so I have an opinion on gay marriage, but guess what? It’s my opinion, that doesn’t mean it needs to be made into a law. If another dude marrying another dude makes that dude happy, then have at it, man. More vagina for me. And let’s be clear, “more vagina for me” is pretty much the correct answer for everything.

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