Carmen Electra Still Looks Like This

I was kinda under the impression that Carmen Electra was either dead or spending the remaining days of her life doing opiates in Dubai, but apparently she's still alive and could reasonably spend the remaining days of her life doing opiates in Dubai because she's still looking pretty damn hot. And she's 42. It's like my entire world view is crumbling. I'm sorry. I can't type anymore here. I have to go let it all out in my diary.

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Carmen Electra Wore This

Caremen Electra should have been sent to some kind of ho retirement home a long time ago, but when you're a 41- year old chick, I guess a ton of makeup, dim lighting, and your rack pushed up to your mouth are essential weapons you gotta use to still get free drinks at 1:50am. Guests when when the lights came on Carmen Electra hissed and placed a curse on a waiter then read from a book made from human skin.

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Carmen Electra Is Still Alive, Links

Miley Cyrs Is Nasty [Fishwrapper]

Isla Fisher Wind Blown Upskirt (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Russell Brand Thought About Other Women While Having Sex With Katy Perry [The Superficial]

Alessandra Ambrosio Hits Us With A Double Dose Of New Bikini And Lingerie Hotness [Popoholic]

Meet Hottie Emma Rigby [Hollywood Tuna]

Terrence Howard Is At It Again [Dlisted]

Miley Cyrus hates pants (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]

This is the amazing new video for Hopeless Wanderer from Mumford & Sons [Lainey Gossip]

Henry Cavill picked up some random girls in London [Celebitchy]

Adriana Lima: Hottest “Grocery Store Shopping Cart Catwalk” Pics…EVER [Moe Jackson]

Ender’s Game has a teaser trailer [Film Drunk]

Devin Brugman may need a bigger bikini [Celebslam]

Can You Believe 'The O.C.' is 10 Years Old? [COED Magazine]

Vin Diesel Comes Back as Riddick [The Blemish]

Rob Pattinson Stopped By Kristen Stewart’s House Last Week [Evil Beet Gossip]

James Cameron Plans Avatar 2, 3, 4; Gets 2016, 2017, 2018 Release Dates [Crave Online]

First Look: Oprah’s interview with Lindsay Lohan [Popbytes]

Get Revenge [MyEx]

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The Sundance Institute Has A Mission Statement

Remember when they used to show arthouse flicks? No?

“Since 1981, Sundance Institute has evolved to become an internationally-recognized nonprofit organization that actively advances the work of risk-taking storytellers worldwide. Originally founded by Robert Redford in the mountains of Sundance, Utah, Sundance Institute has always provided a space for independent artists to explore their stories free from commercial and political pressures. By providing year-round creative and financial support for the development of original stories for the screen and stage, Sundance Institute remains committed to its mission to discover and develop independent artists and audiences across the globe.”

Sundance is committed to providing a space for independent artists like Carmen Electra to explore stories like Aerobic Striptease and Good Burger. Sundance is also committed to ensuring Robert Redford can be distracted by tits long enough not to realize his entire enterprise is now the antithesis of everything it originally stood for.

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Carmen Electra Might Have A Sex Tape

I’ve wanted to go spelunking in between Carmen Electra’s legs like Batman since 1995, so this video that showed up online yesterday of her getting it on with some chick is what one might call “good news”. If I walked in on this, I really hope she would have renter’s insurance because I’m pretty sure my fucking head would explode.

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Leather And Lace Party Strangely Leather-and-Lace-less

When I heard “Leather and Lace” party, I think I got all overly excited and had to change out my Spongebob Boxers for the ones with a bow over the fly that say “This Package Is For You.”

And although Kim Kardashian, Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra were attending, there was a disturbing lack of: 1) Leather, 2) Lace, 3) A logical reason for me to wear my fancy underpants.

When I went to bed, looking at the mirror I have installed on the ceiling, I read my own underoos: “This Package Is For You.” Then, I cried myself to sleep.

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Wink-Link, Nudge-Nudge

Oh, so that’s where hipsters come from. I would have thought a horse’s ass, but this is pretty close.

Carmen Electra might be addicted to sex toys. Also reported: She’s not even trying to hide that hideous bra. [Hollywood Tuna]

Lily Allen: “I know lots of people who take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work…But we never hear that side of the story.” [I’m Not Obsessed]

Real World: Brooklyn vs. real world Brooklyn [Complex]

Cameron Diaz
nipple-slips? Why not? [City Rag]

Busted-looking star of the day: Debra Messing. [Celebslam]

Cindy Crawford doesn’t let her daughter watch Hanna Montana because it makes her a little bitch. [Celebitchy]

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Us Weekly Thinks These People are Hot

Today is boring and I really need to go ahead and start drinking so, here are some of the chicks who “sizzled up the gold carpet” at Us Magazine’s Hot Hollywood Party last night. Obviously, the word “hot” is not really happy about all this:

Jennifer Lopez also won the prestigious Style Icon of The Year Award. It’s so prestigious, I’ve never heard of it. I’m not sure what it takes to win, but I assume it involves jeans with the ass stretched out and looking like a male Jennifer Lopez impersonator.

Paris Hilton just needs to go ahead and get an eye patch and a parrot, and get it over with. That eye is basically closed. She looks depressed, so maybe her right eye is some sort of mood eye. If it’s open, that means she’s alive. And that doesn’t put me in a good mood.

Seriously, is there any doubt that Ashlee Simpson is the hot sister now? Granted, Ashlee’s still kinda fug, but at least she has an actual woman’s face. Jessica Simpson looks like Bill Cowher with a blonde wig and collagen injections.

The freckled whore in curls:

Carmen Electra is pretty much the only exception to this list. She’s still getting it done after all these years, and she doesn’t mind getting naked. And if you’re a hot chick with big boobs, it says somewhere in the Constitution that you’re legally obligated. Sorry, ladies!

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