Here’s Candice Swanepoel And Her Nipples In Some Lingerie

 

Walking around being female perfection must be difficult, or maybe it’s not that difficult to spending your day changing outfits and looking in a mirror, but I guess that’s the price of beauty. So here’s Candice Swanepoel in some lingerie for Victoria’s Secret. The last pic is NSFW, because it’s not safe to have erections at work. The mildly attractive girl in your office will think it’s about her then she’ll file a complaint and sue you. Mildly attractive girls are always doing that type of thing.

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Good God, Man
Good God, Man

 

Because I have limited brain function most of the time, I was unaware that Candice Swanepoel could be more perfect, but…damn. Here she is as a brunette. I don't know what's going with my dick right now, but I think people in this coffee shop are starting to notice.

 

Also, here she is in a bikini. Because the world is a better place when she puts one on.

 

Candice Swanepoel Bikini

 

pic source = Instagram

 

 

 

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Yes Please

Speaking of unwanted pregnancies and women paying child support, the Maxim Hot 100 Party thing was last night and Candice Swanepoel wore these pants. Would I get her pregnant just so I could post a picture of her on Instagram with the caption, "I got this pregnant"? Yes. Yes, I would. #rawdog #fiveminutes

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Candice Swanepoel Is For Hump Day
Candice Swanepoel Is For Hump Day

 

Before we get into Justin Bieber getting arrested and the two billionaires who thought fighting would make Miranda Kerr have sex with them, let's all observe a moment of silence for this pic that Candice Swanepoel posted on Instagram last night. Please bow your heads and th..nope. Sorry. My penis doesn't seem to want to bow. I really can't take him anywhere. So embarrassing. My apologies.

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Candice Swanepoel Says Good Morning, Links
Candice Swanepoel Says Good Morning, Links

 

Rob Ford really, really loves crack  [Dlisted]

Jessica Simpson's tongue is scary  [Fishwrapper]

Katie Cassidy must be cold (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Justin Bieber wrote a sizzurp carol  [The Superficial]

Emma Rigby is hot as hell  [Hollywood Tuna]

Jessica Biel looks hot in anything [Popoholic]

These Carmen Electra pics are disturbing [Drunken Stepfather]

Peaches Geldof died of a heroin overdose [Celebitchy]

Izabel Goulart's ass in a bikini. Yes.  [Moe Jackson]

Baz Luhrmann is directing an Elvis biopic  [Film Drunk]

Nina Agdal for Banana Moon [Celebslam]

45 pics of chicks in towels [The Chive]

 

 

pic source = Instagram

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Candice Swanepoel Had A Happy Easter
Candice Swanepoel Had A Happy Easter

 

Candice Swanepoel is the closest thing to physical perfection the Earth has to offer, so when she gets naked on Instagram (see NSFW version here), I'm contractually and morally obligated to post it. Why can't this be the body of Christ? I'd eat that. I mean, figuratively of course.

 

pic source = Instagram

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Candice Swanepoel And Adriana Lima Had A Press Conference

Getty has these pics captioned as, Victoria's Secret Angel Adriana Lima poses as she and fellow Angel Candice Swanepoel speak at the New Bond Street store on April 15, 2014 in London, England, to announce that the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, the biggest global fashion event in the world, is coming to London for the first time this winter. The show will be filmed for broadcast on the CBS Television Network and shown in 192 countries. "Cool", said a reporter in the back. "You guys have any heating pads or, like, a warm towel or something? I think I fucked up my forearm. Grab me some moist towelettes too would you, sweetie?"

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A Moment With Candice Swanepoel
A Moment With Candice Swanepoel

 

Hey, guys. I need to go grab some lunch, so while I'm away, spend some time with quality time Candice Swanepoel. If you're a chick reading this, I hope this ruins your appetitite. Take the knife you were gonna spread Nutella on that fried chick and carve "BIKINI SEASON" in your arm. Thanks me later.

 

pic source = Instagram

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