Somebody Married This

Hey, remember that time Cameron Diaz was hot in 1994? Well, big news, she got married in 2014 to some guy.

Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden sure are off to a sweet start in 2015. The two “were married [Monday] evening in an intimate ceremony at their home in Los Angeles,” their rep confirms exclusively to PEOPLE.  “We couldn’t be happier to begin our new journey together surrounded by our closest family and friends,” the couple tell PEOPLE.

Cameron Diaz looks like that thing on Jeepers Creepers and Benji Madden is/was in a band that I remember making shitty music, so I hope this blessed union brings them some kind of happiness.

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Cameron Diaz Is Gonna Be Naked In A Movie
Cameron Diaz Is Gonna Be Naked In A Movie

 

She's like, what, 20 years too late give or take?

Cameron Diaz does something she's never done before in her upcoming movie, "Sex Tape." She gets naked on camera. It's a first for the 41-year-old actress, who described the experience to Esquire magazine as "just a part of the role." She says her co-star Jason Segel also gets nude on-screen. In "Sex Tape," Diaz and Segal play a bored married couple who decide to spice up things by filming a sex tape. After it's accidentally leaked, they try to get it back. She also has a labor scene in the film. Diaz has been open about not wanting children in real life, saying she never really wanted to be a mother

Stop me if you've heard this one: young actress refuses to do nudity because of artistic integrity. Fast forward 20 years and she'll take her clothes off for a Taco Bell commercial if it means she stays relevant. And if we're all being honest with ourselves here, Cameron Diaz was hot in like three movies in the 90s. If she woukd have got naked in The Mask it would have made more than James Cameron's 401K.

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‘The Other Woman’ Had A Premiere

Despite looking like she was cursed by a warlock some time around 2002, Cameron Diaz is still being cast in romantic comedies. But now Hollywood has to cast hot chicks in her movies with her because, well, look at the banner picture. Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann are just happy to be here at this point. The film's script was rewritten and the title was changed to The Other Woman after the studio found out it was just Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann in the movie. "Wait, do what now? Nope." a studio executive said.

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Cameron Diaz Without Makeup Says Happy Friday The 13th, Links
Cameron Diaz Without Makeup Says Happy Friday The 13th, Links

 

Khloe Kardashian is filing for divorce today [Dlisted]

Courtney Stodden has managed to look even more ridiculous [Fishwrapper]

Pink upskirt (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Heather Graham is immortal [The Superficial]

Vanessa Hudgens midriff action [Hollywood Tuna]

Olivia Wilde is all kinds of pregnant [Popoholic]

Here's Alyssa Miller's nipple [Drunken Stepfather]

Howard Stern contest winner dies minutes before he got to bang a prostitute  [TMZ]

The Mara sisters went somewhere [Lainey Gossip]

Jennifer Aniston is about to be single soon [Celebitchy]

Eiza Gonzalez had a wardrobe malfunction [Moe Jackson]

The Naked Gun is getting a reboot [Film Drunk]

VS model Lindsay Ellingson is marrying a medical equipment salesman [Celebslam]

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Jason Segel Is Having Sex With This

My condolenceses. Life & Style reports:

Looks like Jason Segel has caught the eye of Cameron Diaz! Life & Style can reveal that the pair were caught cozying up in East Hampton, N.Y., on Tuesday night. "They were at [upscale eatery] Nick and Toni's and seemed to be on a date," one eyewitness tells the mag. And that's not the only place the Hollywood hot shots were spotted — they were also seen shopping at Citarella food market in the same area! "They bought groceries and then drove off together," an eyewitness on Instagram revealed.

Cameron Diaz looks like her face melted and an exiled doctor on Mexico tried to fix it in a warehouse on question power grid, so yeah, it probably takes him a while. No need to think about drowning puppies or your dad masturbating.
 

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Cameron Diaz Still Hasn’t Backed Out Of This Yet

If you read Twitter or any comment section, you'll be surprised to find out that Kate Upton is "gross" and "ugly" and "overrated" or other things women with small boobs say while they pour bacon grease and chocolate over their nachos. In reality, Kate Upton is a 21-year old blonde with huge tits. That's basically the corporate branding of our Constitution. So the irony isn't lost on me that Cameron Diaz, who only passed for hot in The Mask then rode that all the way to 2013, agreed to star in The Other Woman. Kate Upton and Cameron Diaz standing next to each other looks like a before of after picture of some sort of voodoo curse.

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Cameron Diaz Probably Wished They Used A Filter

Cameron Diaz and Leonardo DiCaprio atteneded the Tag Hauer Yacht Party this weekend, and if you're still on the fence about whether men age better than women, one of these people is 39 and bangs Victoria's Secret Models and the other is 40 and seems to be victim of a gypsy curse. I'll let you decide which one is which.

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Brooklyn Decker Had A Premiere, Links

Kim Kardashian is too trashy for Anna Wintour [The Superficial]
Jennifer Love Hewitt is very leggy [Popoholic]
Chloe Grace Moretz is far from legal [Hollywood Tuna]
Real Housewives of NY’s Kelly Bensimon needs a bigger bathing suit (NSFW site) [Taxi Driver Movie]
Andrew W. K. is 33 [Dlisted]
Anja Rubik’s hip bone is very pointy (NSFW site) [Drunken Stepfather]
Against Me! singer Tom Gabel has come out as transgender Johnny Depp‘s midlife crisis continues [Celebuzz]
[Celebitchy]
Candice Swanepoel is topless in Vogue Italy (NSFW site)[The Nip Slip]
How To Survive A Robot Uprising [COED Magazine]
10 Mitt Romney Running Mate Suggestions [College Humor]
34 behind the scenes photos from the Indiana Jones movies [The Chive]
Kelly Brook. That’s all you need to know [Moe Jackson]
The Megan Fox womb-watch continues [Celebslam]
Even more on the John Travola lawsuit [Evil Beet Gossip]
Andrew Garfield in i-D magazine [Amy Gindhouse]
Jessica Biel is on twitter now [Lainey Gossip]
Miley Cyrus ruins everything [Cityrag]
The Islamic Defenders Front does not approve of Lady Gaga [Popcrush]
Obviously there will be an Avengers 2 [Film Drunk]
Russell Brand ripped apart a heckler, then probably slept with his girlfriend [Celebrity VIP Lounge]

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Not Sure What This Was About



It’s still unclear why Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz were invited to an event to celebrate achievement in motion pictures, but in case you missed it, they presented an award and their asses in some kind of ass-off. Why Cameron Diaz thought this was a good idea I guess we’ll never know, because Jennifer Lopez has built a career by sticking her enormous ass in the air to make people forget she’s a talentless cunt with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Maybe next Diaz can challenge the Hulk to a cage fight or whatever means that she’s stupid with no understanding of her limitations.

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