Cameron Diaz Is Retiring From Acting
Cameron Diaz Is Retiring From Acting

 

Selma Blair let everybody know we won’t be getting a sequel to 2002’s The Sweetest Thing (pauses to Google), because Cameron Diaz is retiring from acting. Here’s Blair telling Metro UK all of Cameron Diaz’s business.

‘I had lunch with Cameron the other day. We were reminiscing about the film. I would have liked to do a sequel but Cameron’s retired from acting. She’s like ‘I’m done.”…I mean, she doesn’t need to make any more films. She has a pretty great life, I don’t know what it would take to bring her back. She’s happy.’”

Apparently Cameron Diaz read that then texted her, because Blair then tweeted this:

BREAKING NEWS: Guys please, I was making a joke in an interview. CAMERON DIAZ is NOT retiring from ANYTHING. And for more breaking news: I am NOW retiring from being Cameron Diaz’s spokesperson.” Later that same day the Blair thanked her followers for having her back. She retweeted her “breaking news” tweet and wrote, “Thank you so much for helping to get the word out.”

Dammit, Selma. Had me all hyped for nothing. But I do say it seems like blatant sexism that Cameron Diaz’s potential retirement didn’t get as much coverage as perennial-Oscar nominee Daniel Day-Lewis’ retirement. Diaz was in such films as Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle and What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Daniel Day-Lewis was in what, shit movies like There Will Be Blood and Phantom Thread? This is blatant Hollywood sexism yet again.

 

 

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Cameron Diaz, 43, Is Pregnant With Benji Madden’s Twins

Ew.

The rumors have been swirling for months that the recently married couple are pregnant. Now, a new report is claiming that Cameron underwent in vitro fertilization and is expecting not one, but two babies. “When they found out they were expecting twins, Benji and Cam were in shock, but completely overjoyed,” an insider told Life & Style magazine. Considering Benji is a twin himself, the prospect of these two having twins isn’t far off. “Although she’s just a few weeks in, Cameron is hoping her babies turn out to be a boy and a girl. She’s excited to start shopping for the nursery.” There is a bit of a worry surrounding this pregnancy, Cam is at a greater risk for complications, due to her age. “They’re being very cautious,” the insider stated. “She’s very healthy and everything looks great so far. They’re hoping for the best.”

I didn’t think Cameron Diaz would be alive for long after she saw The Other Woman for the first time, so this is much better news. But this is from Life & Style. This story could be true, or it could be somebody there stopped winding the bingo machine and Cameron Diaz’s ball came out after it already stopped at “twins”. So either Cameron Diaz is pregnant with twins and I’ve wasted your time or Cameron Diaz isn’t pregnant with twins and I’ve wasted your time. There’s really no winners here.

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Somebody Married This

Hey, remember that time Cameron Diaz was hot in 1994? Well, big news, she got married in 2014 to some guy.

Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden sure are off to a sweet start in 2015. The two “were married [Monday] evening in an intimate ceremony at their home in Los Angeles,” their rep confirms exclusively to PEOPLE.  “We couldn’t be happier to begin our new journey together surrounded by our closest family and friends,” the couple tell PEOPLE.

Cameron Diaz looks like that thing on Jeepers Creepers and Benji Madden is/was in a band that I remember making shitty music, so I hope this blessed union brings them some kind of happiness.

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Cameron Diaz Is Gonna Be Naked In A Movie
Cameron Diaz Is Gonna Be Naked In A Movie

 

She's like, what, 20 years too late give or take?

Cameron Diaz does something she's never done before in her upcoming movie, "Sex Tape." She gets naked on camera. It's a first for the 41-year-old actress, who described the experience to Esquire magazine as "just a part of the role." She says her co-star Jason Segel also gets nude on-screen. In "Sex Tape," Diaz and Segal play a bored married couple who decide to spice up things by filming a sex tape. After it's accidentally leaked, they try to get it back. She also has a labor scene in the film. Diaz has been open about not wanting children in real life, saying she never really wanted to be a mother

Stop me if you've heard this one: young actress refuses to do nudity because of artistic integrity. Fast forward 20 years and she'll take her clothes off for a Taco Bell commercial if it means she stays relevant. And if we're all being honest with ourselves here, Cameron Diaz was hot in like three movies in the 90s. If she woukd have got naked in The Mask it would have made more than James Cameron's 401K.

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‘The Other Woman’ Had A Premiere

Despite looking like she was cursed by a warlock some time around 2002, Cameron Diaz is still being cast in romantic comedies. But now Hollywood has to cast hot chicks in her movies with her because, well, look at the banner picture. Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann are just happy to be here at this point. The film's script was rewritten and the title was changed to The Other Woman after the studio found out it was just Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann in the movie. "Wait, do what now? Nope." a studio executive said.

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Cameron Diaz Without Makeup Says Happy Friday The 13th, Links
Cameron Diaz Without Makeup Says Happy Friday The 13th, Links

 

Khloe Kardashian is filing for divorce today [Dlisted]

Courtney Stodden has managed to look even more ridiculous [Fishwrapper]

Pink upskirt (NSFW) [Taxi Driver Movie]

Heather Graham is immortal [The Superficial]

Vanessa Hudgens midriff action [Hollywood Tuna]

Olivia Wilde is all kinds of pregnant [Popoholic]

Here's Alyssa Miller's nipple [Drunken Stepfather]

Howard Stern contest winner dies minutes before he got to bang a prostitute  [TMZ]

The Mara sisters went somewhere [Lainey Gossip]

Jennifer Aniston is about to be single soon [Celebitchy]

Eiza Gonzalez had a wardrobe malfunction [Moe Jackson]

The Naked Gun is getting a reboot [Film Drunk]

VS model Lindsay Ellingson is marrying a medical equipment salesman [Celebslam]

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Jason Segel Is Having Sex With This

My condolenceses. Life & Style reports:

Looks like Jason Segel has caught the eye of Cameron Diaz! Life & Style can reveal that the pair were caught cozying up in East Hampton, N.Y., on Tuesday night. "They were at [upscale eatery] Nick and Toni's and seemed to be on a date," one eyewitness tells the mag. And that's not the only place the Hollywood hot shots were spotted — they were also seen shopping at Citarella food market in the same area! "They bought groceries and then drove off together," an eyewitness on Instagram revealed.

Cameron Diaz looks like her face melted and an exiled doctor on Mexico tried to fix it in a warehouse on question power grid, so yeah, it probably takes him a while. No need to think about drowning puppies or your dad masturbating.
 

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Cameron Diaz Still Hasn’t Backed Out Of This Yet

If you read Twitter or any comment section, you'll be surprised to find out that Kate Upton is "gross" and "ugly" and "overrated" or other things women with small boobs say while they pour bacon grease and chocolate over their nachos. In reality, Kate Upton is a 21-year old blonde with huge tits. That's basically the corporate branding of our Constitution. So the irony isn't lost on me that Cameron Diaz, who only passed for hot in The Mask then rode that all the way to 2013, agreed to star in The Other Woman. Kate Upton and Cameron Diaz standing next to each other looks like a before of after picture of some sort of voodoo curse.

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Cameron Diaz Probably Wished They Used A Filter

Cameron Diaz and Leonardo DiCaprio atteneded the Tag Hauer Yacht Party this weekend, and if you're still on the fence about whether men age better than women, one of these people is 39 and bangs Victoria's Secret Models and the other is 40 and seems to be victim of a gypsy curse. I'll let you decide which one is which.

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