Bruce Willis Passed On ‘Expendables 3’ Because They Wouldn’t Pay Him $1M A Day
Bruce Willis Passed On ‘Expendables 3’ Because They Wouldn’t Pay Him $1M A Day


Many people were excited (ok, I might be exaggerating) that Harrison Ford replaced Bruce Willis in Expendables 3, but Sylvester Stallone was even more excited he didn't have to pay Ford ONE MILLION DOLLARS A DAY. THR reports:

Sylvester Stallone let the world know Tuesday that Bruce Willis was out of the upcoming The Expendables 3 for being "greedy and lazy," and it seems that laziness was not the primary issue…..A source with knowledge of the situation says the fallout was over a specific money demand. Willis was offered $3 million for four days of consecutive work on location in Bulgaria for the film. "He said he'd drop out unless he got $4 million," this source close to the production says. "A million dollars a day. Stallone and everybody else involved said no." Stallone then quickly reached out to Ford, who was game to join the Expendables cast.

Some people may think Bruce Willis was being a dick here, but have you seen his girlfriend? She costs at least $2M a day.

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Bruce Willis is Confused

Even the star of A Good Day to Die Hard doesn’t understand it. A drunk/hungover/jet lagged/all of the above Bruce Willis gave a rambling interview about his new film on English television. The Daily Mail reports:

Bruce Willis has been labelled ‘ignorant and incoherent’ after his appearance on The One Show on Wednesday evening.

The Hollywood actor was blasted by viewers of the BBC One show after he appeared to snub questions from hosts Matt Baker and Alex Jones during an increasingly awkward interview to promote his new movie A Good Day To Die Hard.

The actor gave short answers and repeatedly shrugged his shoulders in the promotional appearance described as ‘torture’ by viewers. Bizarrely, the only time Willis, 57, did open up during the live interview was to criticise the name of the film – which he insisted didn’t make any sense.

While Baker was in the middle of praising the film, Willis only seemed interested in criticising it. Cutting him off, Willis said: ‘Let me ask you guys, what about the title? Are you confused by it?’ Jones admitted she did think the name was strange, with Willis then responding: ‘I don’t understand it. ‘It’s a Good Day to Die Hard’? No, I’m still working on it.’

Much to Todd’s dismay I’ve never seen any of the Die Hard movies. But obviously you need an advanced degree just to get past the title. Bruce is right, how does one die hard? Unless you’re falling from a tall building most deaths would be relatively soft. And are there bad days to die hard? It really makes you think.

Photo credit = WENN

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Scout Willis Seems Fun

So, this whole co-parenting thing seems to be working out well. New York Daily News reports:

Scout Willis, the 20-year-old daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, was busted for allegedly drinking a beer in Union Square and giving cops a fake ID, the Daily News has learned. The Brown University student was released without bail Tuesday and ordered to return to Manhattan Criminal Court on July 31. The celebrity spawn was nabbed just before 7 p.m. Monday by a transit cop who spotted her with an 8-ounce Pakistani beer, according to court papers. She gave the officer a New York ID card with the name Katherine Kelly, but the cop didn’t fall for it. After she was questioned further, Willis brought out her real California ID. “My name is Scout Willis,” she told the officer, according to the criminal complaint. “The first ID isn’t mine. My friend gave it to me. I don’t know Katherine Kelly.” The wannabe singer was charged with criminal impersonation and breaking the open container law, both misdemeanors.

Whatever. The whole family is on whip-its and likes to drink, but goddamn it would take a lot bath salts to get through this bitch’s face. There’s a serial killer reading this right now and thinking about using her skull as a coffee table. “It’d tie the whole room together,” he might be say.

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Bruce Willis Is Awesome

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Seriously, he needs to be my best friend. TMZ says:

No one is going to confuse Bruce Willis with Ebenezer Scrooge — because the guy showed some serious Christmas spirit when he dropped a gigantic tip when he bought his Xmas tree this week. We’re told Willis dropped $175 on a 10-foot tree from A1 Christmas Trees and Lights in Los Angeles. The owner tells TMZ Bruce was really nice to everyone there — shaking everyone’s hand who asked — but wouldn’t pose for pics. Bruce made up for it though … forking over $100 to each of the guys who helped him pick out the tree. Yippee-ki-yay.

This makes me happy because Die Hard is my favorite Christmas movie ever. Todd makes fun of me because of how much I love John McClane (I listed his name as my religious preference on a hospital form once), but I think he and his ancestors are just really upset that so many trees get cut down this time of year.

And yes, this is my ringtone.

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Tallulah Willis Is An Idiot

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore are awesome parents with brilliant kids. Per TMZ:

Tallulah Belle Willis, the 17-year-old daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, had a brush with the law last night over alcohol … law enforcement sources tell TMZ.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … cops spotted three girls getting out of a car in Hollywood at around 11:00 PM, carrying what appeared to be two bottles of alcohol. The officers probed further and determined it was indeed the hard stuff. Here’s the problem … all three girls are underage.

Tallulah Belle and her cohorts were cited at the scene for underage possession — but since Tallulah Belle — who has appeared in “The Scarlet Letter” and “The Whole Ten Yards — is a minor, cops couldn’t just release her …. they needed to find an adult to pick her up .

So Tallulah Belle called Bruce … but a dutiful Demi did the hard labor, getting in a car and retrieving T.B.

I don’t know how much of this story I can buy. Her dad is John fucking McClane. You mean with all the cash at this chick’s disposal, she couldn’t afford a bigger purse?

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Bruce Willis Picked Out Emma Heming

It’s amazing when loves blooms naturally between a 54 year old man and a 30 year old woman. Just like it did with Bruce Willis and Emma Heming. Their eyes meet across the cafe then the strangers become lovers. Except in this case, Bruce Willis saw her headshot first and coerced casting to bring her to work at the cafe. Page Six reports:

“During the casting of ‘Perfect Stranger’ [the suspense movie Willis made with Halle Berry two years ago], Bruce was very involved with the casting. In fact, you could say he was extremely involved no matter how minor the role.” At Willis’ request, calls were placed to modeling agencies to fill the roles of extras and minor speaking parts. Our casting source said, “He personally went through head shots and when the girls were called in to ‘read,’ he was there in the meeting. It was odd for the star of a movie to do so, but at the time he was single and I guess he needed a date.” The casting sessions/blind dates went well enough. “He started dating [model] Tamara Feldman, with whom he coincidentally enough had a sex scene,” our insider said. Then, Heming was selected for a small speaking part. Willis “started dating both Tamara and Emma but obviously, Emma eventually won out,” the source said.

In other news, I was at Bed, Bath & Beyond yesterday and I picked out the most gorgeous lattice table linen! I guess Bruce Willis and I are just living the dream!

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Bruce Willis Got Married

Apparently tired of years of banging young Hollywood ass, Bruce Willis, 54, married his model/actress girlfriend, Emma Heming, 32, on Saturday at his Turks and Caicos islands estate. E! Online reports:

Guests at the Caribbean wedding included Willis’ ex-wife, Demi Moore, and her husband, Ashton Kutcher. The Live Free or Die Hard actor, 54, and the 32-year-old British model met through friends and began dating last year. Willis’ publicist tells E! that the couple will have a civil ceremony when they return to California. Bruce and Demi were married for 13 years before splitting in 2000. Their three daughters, Rumer, 20, Scout, 17, and Tallulah, 15, also attended the wedding.

Ashton Kutcher is 32 and married to something held together by duct tape and science (Demi Moore has had over $500K worth of plastic surgery), yet Bruce Willis is 52 and has been inside more young pussy than a veterinarian. I have no idea what it’s gonna be like at Bruce’s funeral, but I think they should cut off his penis and place it on one of those velvet pillows and drive it around in a parade car behind a marching band and girls twirling batons.


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House Bunny Premiered Last Night

I rather watch zombies serve my torso at a picnic than see House Bunny, but a lot of hot ass showed up at the premiere last night, and in case you missed it, scouring the Internet for pictures of “hot ass” is kinda my job description. That is, of course, until I can find a way to start getting paid to just think about hot ass. Toddco* has a solid business plan, but apparently potential investors fail to see how masturbating constitutes a core competency. Insolent fools!

* A division of Handsome Industries, Inc.

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Hollywood Stars Might Have Hepatitis

Guests at Ashton Kutcher’s 30th birthday party at Socialista on February 7th, who included Demi Moore, Madonna, Lucy Liu, Salma Hayek, Kate Hudson and Bruce Willis, have been urged to get tested and vaccinated for hepatitis after an employee at the West Village nightspot was diagnosed with the disease. Page Six reports:

A Socialista bartender named Leif, who’s now in the hospital, was diagnosed with a raging case of Hep A. We’re told the Health Department yesterday visited the club that former Bungalow 8 doorman Armin Armiri opened last fall, but Armiri said, “We’re not closed down, we’re just concerned for our customers.”

That’s weird, because if they wanted me to get concerned, with the exception of Bruce Willis, they should’ve come up with a better list of names than this. Madonna and Lucy Liu might have hepatitis? Oh my, heavens no! Are they all right? Will they be okay? Will Lucy Liu’s agent still be able to cast her as fourth alternate in the next Gwen Stefani video? Man, I sure do hope so!

Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Rumer Willis, and Salma Hayek last night:

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Bruce Willis is Still a Pimp

I swear to God I’m going to convert to Hinduism and throw myself in front of a truck, then cross my fingers and pray that I come back as Bruce Willis. This dude is 52 years old and has banged some of the hottest chicks on earth. Now, it looks like his vagina train has stopped at Karen McDougal, 1998’s Playmate of the Year. I have no idea what it’s gonna be like at Bruce’s funeral, but I think they should cut off his penis and put in on one of those velvet pillows and drive it around in a parade car.

Bruce Willis and Karen McDougal in Italy on August 7th:

Here’s Karen McDougal naked, if you’re interested (NSFW):

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