Bruce Jenner Is Gonna Turn Into A Woman On His Own TV Show
Bruce Jenner Is Gonna Turn Into A Woman On His Own TV Show

 

Buffalo Bill Frances Dollarhyde Bruce Jenner has been evolving in his hair extension and hormonal injection chrysalis for a while now, but soon, very soon, her will transform into a beautiful butterfly weeknights at 9.

Bruce Jenner is shooting a docuseries about his life changes that will air on television … TMZ has confirmed. We’re told the footage has been shot over the last few months and chronicles what Kim has described as Bruce’s “journey.”  We’re told the footage is a very personal look from Bruce’s vantage point of the process of changing. Multiple sources say the documentary will include interaction with Bruce’s kids and ex-wife Kris and how they are receiving the news. One source familiar with the production tells us when Bruce talked openly with the family, at one point Kris “lost it.”  We’re told all of Bruce’s kids — the boys and girls — have been “extremely supportive.” 

I used to live in Miami for a while, and the transgendered women there have probably made more than one dude question his own sexuality, but I don’t think that’ll be an issue here. I also don’t think we’ll see anything gross on here, because I assume his dick was removed sometime in 2008 over the course of several arguments with Kris.

 

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Kris Jenner And Bruce Jenner Are Getting Divorced
Kris Jenner And Bruce Jenner Are Getting Divorced

 

The greatest love story ever told. 9pm on E!

Kris Jenner filed papers on Monday to end the 23-year marriage, according to documents obtained by the Daily News. Kris requests joint custody of daughter Kylie and to keep all her jewelry. The filing cites irreconcilable differences as the reason behind their split.

Kris Jenner is all about diversifying revenue streams, so the jewelry may come in handy one day, and since Kylie isn’t attractive enough to be a model, or have a sex tape, or marry a dude in the NBA, I guess child support will have to do. Not sure what the “irreconcilable differences” were, but I think it’s because Kris Jenner thinks she has a penis and Bruce Jenner wants to surgically cut his off.

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Bruce Jenner Is Removing His Adam’s Apple
Bruce Jenner Is Removing His Adam’s Apple

 

After 8 years of being emasculated and repeatedly castrated by Kris Jenner and her harem for your viewing pleasure, Bruce Jennner has finally decided to become a woman. TMZ reports:

Bruce Jenner is flattening his Adam's Apple … TMZ has learned. Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … the Olympian met with a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon today for a consultation for a procedure called a Laryngeal Shave — which smooths out the Adam's Apple. The procedure is typically done on patients who are in the first stage of gender reassignment, but Bruce tells TMZ that is NOT the case with him.  He says, "I just never liked my trachea."

Before we make fun of a former Olympian who was the picture of manliness in the 70s going to a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills to become a woman in 2013, ask yourself, what was his other option? Sticking an AR-15 in his mouth and chewing bullets like Wheaties? That last sentence was rhetorical.

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Bruce And Kris Jenner Separated A Year Ago
Bruce And Kris Jenner Separated A Year Ago

 

To combat the downward spiral of their ratings, the Keeping Up With The Kardashians writers' room has been busy lately. WILL KHLOE EVER HAVE A BABY? WHAT'S UP WITH LAMAR AND HIS CRACK? WILL KENDALL JUST GO AHEAD AND GET NAKED ON INSTAGRAM ALREADY? And, of course, the Bruce Jenner and Kris Jenner drama. Turns out they've been separated for over a year, but there's a time and place to reveal this type of news. The "time" being when execs see the overnight numbers, and the "place" is E! News because contracts.

Bruce and Kris Jenner have separated after 22 years of marriage. "We are living separately and we are much happier this way," the pair exclusively tell E! News. "But we will always have much love and respect for each other. Even though we are separated, we will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority." Kris and Bruce are parents to two children together, Kendall and Kylie, and each have four kids from previous marriages.

And much like everything else, Kris Jenner perpetuated a lie until she could craft a narrative and control the media release and spin.

"We just laugh it off," Kris told E! News last November regarding tabloid reports that she and Bruce were divorcing. "We love each other and just laugh about it…These kind of stories have been circulating for the last couple of years." Kris marked their 22nd anniversary on Instagram on April 21, writing, "Happy Anniversary Bruce!!!! Best 22 years I could ever have imagined…hope the next 22 is even more fabulous…I love you!"

Over the weekend, Bruce Jenner told people, "I'm finally free to do what I want and live life the way I want", but Kris just texted him to check his schedule because Ryan Seacrest might want to do reshoots. The breakup scene apparently lacked emotional depth and he wants to give Bruce and Kris room to improvise. With a scene like this, the words on the paper are more of just a guide.

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