Somebody Intentionally Poisoned Brittany Murphy
Somebody Intentionally Poisoned Brittany Murphy

 

Hey, remember in 2009 when a 32-year old Brittany Murphy died of "natural causes" and we all that was sketch as hell for a while then oh look Lindsay flashed her vag again! Apparently her dad has continued thinking it was sketch as hell so he sent her hair, blood, and tissue to a lab. The results were not good. Hollywoodscoop reports:

After an LA Coroner determined that she died from natural causes, Brittany’s father, who didn’t find any closure with that report, had hair, blood, and tissue samples of his daughter sent to another independent lab. That lab didn’t reach the same conclusions, however. What they found were traces of heavy metals in her system “detected at levels higher than the WHO [World Health Organization] high levels.” They also took into account her late husband Simon Monjack’s death, he passed away only five months later. Hair, blood, and tissue samples of his were also sent to the lab where they found the same toxic exposure at the same levels in his system. Heavy metal poisoning is what the lab results suggest, but it even went on to propose that foul play was involved: “If we were to eliminate the possibility of a simultaneous accidental heavy metals exposure to the sample donor then the only logical explanation would be an exposure to these metals (toxins) administered by a third party perpetrator with likely criminal intent.”

Not sure who would want to intentionally poison Brittany Murphy because she was adorable, but it should be interesting when Rand Paul calls congressional hearings to force Metallica to testify. Hey, man. Wrong "heavy metal".

 

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At Least Brittany Murphy’s Bed Didn’t Get Cold



Be warned: this is the creepiest thing you will read all day. TMZ reports:

Brittany Murphy’s mother told investigators that she shared a bed with her daughter’s husband Simon Monjack after Brittany passed away … this according to sources close to the investigation. The L.A. Coroner’s Office just released their report on Simon Monjack’s death. In the report, the investigator documents an exchange with a person whose name has been withheld — but whom law enforcement sources have identified as Brittany’s mother, Sharon Murphy. According to the report, the investigator and the unnamed person (Sharon) were going through the master bedroom in the Hollywood Hills home that Simon shared with Brittany … when (Sharon) pointed to one side of Simon’s bed and identified it as “her side of the bed.”

I have no idea how he did this, but Simon Monjack took one of the most bubbly and cutest actresses in Hollywood and sucked every piece of hotness and money out of her. He then fucked her mom on her bed. Either he’s a psychic hypnotist with uncanny abilities over the human mind or his penis was cut off in a car accident and replaced with a donkey’s.

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Brittany Murphy Is Still Dead

The biggest mystery of our generation is solved. TMZ reports:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ the issue of mold in the house came up early during the investigation into Brittany’s death — but it was deemed “not to be a contributing factor.” Then when Simon passed away a few months later, we’re told the issue came up again — but Brittany’s mom, Sharon, wouldn’t let the L.A. County Coroner’s Office in to investigate the mold. Now, we’re told, Sharon has agreed to let Public Health investigators into the home. Mold could be relevant to Simon and Brittany’s respiratory health. Pneumonia was a cause of death for both of them.

Yeahhh, I’m gonna go ahead and call bullshit. Brittany Murphy and her chubby hubby were both found with enough (more…)

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Simon Mojack Is Dead



UPDATE: OMG, you’re not gonna believe this! It was drugs!

Five months after his 32-year old wife, actress Brittany Murphy, died of community acquired pneumonia,” iron deficiency anemia, and multiple drug intoxication, Simon Monjack was found dead last night in the same house.
New York Daily News reports:

The Los Angeles County coroner’s office confirmed early Monday morning that the 39-year-old screenwriter died shortly after emergency services received a 911 call at 9:24 p.m. PT Sunday night. “We have detectives at scene,” Sgt. Louie Lozano told the Los Angeles Times. “They are conducting their investigation. Once we have further information, we will provide it.”Monjack was pronounced dead by emergency personnel. Although the exact cause of death is still unknown, police said it appears to be natural causes. Back in December, Monjack’s wife died of pneumonia complicated by an iron deficiency, anemia and multiple drug intoxication. The two had been married since 2007.

It would be romantic to say he died of a broken heart, but since a broken heart doesn’t come in prescription form, I’m gonna say drugs. Lots of drugs. In related news, if you’re in the market for a new house, I’d probably skip over this one on the tour. Apparently it makes people in their 30′s ghosts. You’d have a better time living in a house that was built on top of an Indian burial ground.

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Brittany Murphy Loved Drugs, Pt. 4



Seriously, are we still going with “pneumonia”?

TMZ has learned Brittany Murphy used her own name — besides the alias Lola Manilow Murphy — to secure an array of prescription drugs. Sources tell us between 2003-2009, Brittany had scores of prescriptions filled for 32 different drugs … and that was at just one L.A. pharmacy — and it’s not Eddie’s Pharmacy, the one that cut her off 4 months before her death because the owner feared an accident loomed. The drugs included Inderal and Propranolol (high blood pressure), Sarafem (a type of Prozac), chlordiazepoxide (sedative), promethazine (sedative), and four different drugs for asthma. Also on the list — a number of antibiotic and allergy medications. Brittany had a prescription filled five times for Biaxin — a drug used to treat, among other things, pneumonia. The Coroner ruled Murphy died an accidental death caused by “community acquired pneumonia.”

Damn, bitch. Take enough pills? I bet they buried her with her cell phone, so she could call in prescriptions. Christ, who needs magic beans when you can stack and climb up all the bottles that say “Brittany Murphy”.

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Brittany Murphy Loved Drugs, Pt. 3



Since it’s frontier times, many healthy 32-year old’s succumb to the pneumonia plague like Brittany Murphy. I hope one day science can come up with a way to stop this epidemic that are killing our young. Oh, and if they could come up with a way for women not to have babies squatting by a tree alone while biting down on a stick, that would be great, too.

TMZ has learned Brittany Murphy received no fewer than 200 pills every month from January 2008 through August 2009 … and sometimes as many as 400. As we first reported, Murphy used an alias — Lola Manilow Murphy — at Eddie’s Pharmacy in Los Angeles for nearly two years … before the pharmacy finally cut her off 4 months before her death. Pharmacy records show Murphy was getting regular scrips for hydrocodone (Vicodin), clonazepam and Klonopin (anti-anxiety), and Vicoprofen (a Vicodin/ibuprofen combo) — doubling up on some prescriptions on certain months. For example, one month Murphy was prescribed 200 hydrocodone and 100 clonazepam; another month it was 300 Vicoprofen and 100 Klonopin. All the prescriptions were prescribed by Dr. Richard Kroop — we’re told investigators paid a visit to Kroop on Friday afternoon.

So in closing, as stated previously, this wasn’t some tragic accident. Unless tragic accidents can be averted by not sucking up prescription meds like a Dyson. I wouldn’t take 400 one-a-day Jedi pills a month, much less hydrocodone. You know, except for my ExtenZe. I should be at 4″ by the summer. Look out ladies!

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Simon Monjack Is A Master Criminal



Nearly a month after Brittany Murphy’s untimely death, her husband, Simon Monjack, attempted to file a wrongful death suit against Warner Bros. (which he turned into an opportunity to plug his photography website) and set up a non-profit charitable foundation where fans could “donate” money. Except Monjack was trying to make a profit. Oh, that Simon! He’s such a trickster! TMZ reports:
TMZ broke the story that the foundation — run by Brittany Murphy’s husband, Simon Monjack and mother, Sharon Murphy — hadn’t filed the necessary documents to qualify as a charity or nonprofit group. As soon as we called the foundation for comment, the website immediately shut down. But late Sunday the website resurfaced with a message: It would return all the donations “until we have our non-profit status approved before proceeding to insure that we can truly honor Brittany’s charitable desires.” The website is no longer taking donations and now holds itself out as a private foundation which awaits 501(c)3 non-profit status.

Simon Monjack has a British accent anyway, so he already sounds like he’s a crew member on the Death Star or trying to kill Harry Potter, so of course he’s evil. I’m not sure what the punishment is for trying to set up a fake money grab when your dead wife isn’t even cold yet is, but if it involves flaming arrows in his balls, I’d be pretty okay with that.

Banner pic credit: TMZ

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Brittany Murphy’s Death Was Shocking! Not Really



I got a lot of emails yesterday asking why didn’t post the results of Brittany Murphy’s toxicology report. Well, mostly because I already called it. But in case you’re wondering, you’ll never guess how she died!! OMG, it’s so shocking!! TMZ reports:

Brittany Murphy’s cause of death has been determined: An accidental death caused by “community acquired pneumonia,” iron deficiency anemia, and multiple drug intoxication.

In other shocking news, Brittany’s death could have been prevented if, you know, she didn’t take drugs.

Sources say the primary causes of Murphy’s death were pneumonia and severe anemia. L.A. County Coroner officials believe Brittany’s condition was “treatable” but no one took her to the hospital in time. As for the multiple drugs found in her system, we’re told they were both prescription, including medicine for cramps, and over-the-counter medications, including cough syrup. Our sources say the drugs “pushed her over the line” but the underlying problems were the pneumonia and anemia. In other words, Brittany was really sick, didn’t get treatment and by self-medicating it pushed her over the line.

Of course, Simon Monjack is skeptical because he thought an actress with a mountain of prescription drugs lying around the house died of a broken heart.

Simon said he is “ridiculously upset” by the findings and claimed his wife was “not that ill”. Simon said: “Everything surprised me and Brittany’s mom about the report. “I expected the cause of death to be her heart.” “She wasn’t coughing up. I’ve had pneumonia and coughed up handfuls of spittle. So yeah, everything surprised us, everything.”

So to recap, a 32-year old, 100 pound white chick died of cardiac arrest because she happened to get pneumonia when she was this loser’s prescription drug mule. Not to sound all scientific, but I had pneumonia last year and the only drugs in my system were antibiotics. I know it’s hard to believe I’m typing this now. How did I ever live to tell the tale?!

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Simon Monjack Was Serious, Still Really High



During an interview on The Today Show, Brittany Murphy’s husband, Simon Monjack, says Hollywood killed the 32-year old actress because they didn’t offer her a part in the sequel to Happy Feet. Apparently Warner Bros. hires ninja assassins and sentient cyborgs who have the power to send 100-pound white chicks into cardiac arrest, because in an interview with the The Daily Beast, Monjack says he is filing a wrongful death suit.
The Daily Beast has learned that Simon Monjack, the much-maligned husband of Brittany Murphy, is only days away from filing a wrongful-death action against Warner Brothers, claiming that the studio is responsible for the unexpected death of the 32-year-old actress last December. “They killed her,” he told me. Although the Los Angeles County Coroner’s Office hasn’t released a final cause of death, Monjack and Brittany’s mother, Sharon, who also spoke to me, are convinced that the once-promising star died of a heart attack from the stress caused by Warner Brother’s canceling of a contract just two weeks before she died. Murphy was excited to have begun production on the sequel to the animated hit Happy Feet, but when she was fired by Warner Brothers, Monjack says, “She was devastated.”…Monjack believes that Murphy’s career was stopped cold by the failure of 2004’s Little Black Book. Chicago Sun-Times columnist Richard Roeper had a typically negative reaction when he said, “One of the worst romantic comedies of this or probably any other year.” The following year, Murphy, who had lost 20 pounds, was dogged by anorexia and drug rumors. Ted Casablanca, nee Bruce Bibby, E! Online’s entertainment journalist, ran a blind item in 2005 that said a “Jordache Junky” had had sex with a waiter in a back stairwell at a Hollywood bar mitzvah. Almost everyone pegged Brittany, then a Jordache model, as the girl. “In all the time I’ve known her, she has never, and I repeat NEVER, done drugs,” Monjack told me. “Not a line of cocaine, not a hit from a joint, nothing. She was anti-drugs. There are no drugs involved. If any were, I would not be on the phone with you.”…“The drug rumors made her lose roles, I’m sure,” says Monjack. And they took a toll on her, he says, depressing her and making her fret that she might not find a comeback vehicle. “All she wanted to do was to make movies. She was waiting for the role that would revive her career, waiting for the call from Penny Marshall or Gary Fleder, people she had worked with before, that they might remember how talented an actress she was and call with a new magical role.”

I’m sure the interviewer wanted to hear more of this story, but I assume Monjack talked into a banana then said he had to go because his dragon was in a tow-away zone and he had to get back to Pandora to fax some very important papers to Care-A-Lot or whatever it is you say when you are skii’d out of your goddamn mind.

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Brittany Murphy’s Husband Has Solved The Case



A month after her untimely death, Brittany Murphy’s mother and husband, Simon Monjack, appeared on The Today Show to “set the record straight”. And I don’t know if they’re listening, but Monjack just told the whole world that Hollywood has the power to stop a 32-year old’s heart by not offering her a part in an animated sequel. You’ll pay for this Hollywood! Popeater reports:

Monjack claims Murphy suffered a lot of stress in her career after Warner Brothers pulled back on an original offer to let her do ‘Happy Feet 2′ after rumors surfaced that Murphy was fired from a film. “Hollywood broke her heart,” he said. “They have blood on their hands, and I hope they wash them with very hot water because of the way they treated Brittany Murphy while she was alive,” Monjack said. Monjack said he is also considering whether to sue the Los Angeles County Coroner’s Department over an initial report that was obtained by celebrity Web site TMZ.com, which listed several prescription medications found in Murphy’s home. Monjack claims most of the medicines were his but added Murphy took the anti-seizure medication klonopin and that she also occasionally took Sarafem, a drug aimed at pain and mood swings during menstrual periods. He also denied that Murphy ever used cocaine. “She had a fear of dying” because she had mitral valve prolapse, a common condition where a heart valve does not properly close. “She would not take too much caffeine. She wouldn’t even have a glass of champagne on New Year’s. She was just high on life, and people see that as something else I guess.”

If it wasn’t before, it’s safe to say that it’s obvious at this point that every drug in that house belonged to this tubby motherfucker. Her heart couldn’t go on because she couldn’t do a voice over for a penguin? Yeah, that sounds completely rational and sane. Be sure to read more about it in Monjack’s new book called “Goddamn, I’m So Fucking High Right Now.”

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