Remember in 2007 when we would literally post four Britney Spears posts a day then come back the next day with four more? Say what you want about Donald Trump stories during this election, but he didn’t have shit 2007 Britney Spears. Well, Lifetime is making a Britney Spears biopic and of course, it includes the time she shaved her head and attacked the paparazzi with an umbrella. She seems ok now. Let’s relive the magic.
We all know where we were when we saw Britney Spears‘ sad ass 2016 VMAs performance that made us want to roast her and hug her at the same time, but she was also invited to perform the 2016 iHeart Music Festival in Vegas over the weekend. This was taken from their site.
For the sixth year, the iHeartRadio Music Festival is returning to Las Vegas to, once again, create music history. On the weekend of September 23rd and 24th, a star-studded lineup of artists of all genres will take the stage to give unforgettable performances, create amazing moments … and there may just be a surprise or two. If you’ve been to/watched the iHeartRadio Music Festival before, then you already know that ANYTHING can happen. And this year is set to be no exception.
If you say so.
Anyway, here’s some pictures. Stop when you get to an amazing moment.
Hey, guys! Exciting news! Britney Spears bought some swimsuits and talked about one on Instagram!
Bought three new swimsuits today. This one is my favorite!
Awww, bless her heart.
Bai Ling‘s DGAF tour continues ( NSFW ) [ Taxi Driver Movie ]
Matt Bellamy is an ass connoisseur [ The Superficial ]
Bella Thorne did an underboob photoshooot [ Hollywood Tuna ]
Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid in their underwear [ DrunkenStepfather ]
Kelly Rohrbach in her Baywatch swimsuit [ Popoholic ]
Kendall Jenner in a see through whatever this is ( NSFW ) [ The Nip Slip ]
Scott Disick wants you to know he’s totally fine [ Reality Tea ]
Lena Dunham is hospitalized [ Dlisted ]
Lea Michele is a street walker [ Moe Jackson ]
Teens voted for stuff and whatever they voted for won an award at the 2015 Teen Choice Awards last night. Furious 7 and The Big Bang Theory won awards, so that’s pretty much all you need to know abut the results of a process that allows teenagers to vote. Here’s the pics anyway. Charlotte McKinney was there. Bella Thorne was there. Of course, Wilmer Valderrama was there, because the scent of a freshly dropped first egg is too powerful for him to resist. Nina Dobrev was also there. I only mention her because I saw her once in a Starbucks on Ponce in Atlanta about four months ago. She was in workout clothes and looked like she weighed about 75 pounds. She drove off in a white Mercedes. That’s my Nina Dobrev story. Hope you enjoyed it. The majority of this gallery is Britney Spears, because just look at her face. She might as well be a recently adopted shelter dog or an 8-month old. She’s just happy to be here. She has no idea where she is. You could have told her she was at a screening of Straight Outta Compton on Mars and she would have just nodded and asked if martians have surfboards.
Much like 9/11 and Taco Bell announcing a breakfast menu, we all know where we were when Britney Spears had her psychotic break of 2007. TL;DR it was bad. Since then her father, Jamie Spears, and a team of lawyers have controlled every aspect of her personal and financial life, because well, 2007. Looks like they’ll be doing that until Britney’s mental issues from 8 years ago are no longer economically viable (when she dies).
Fact is … the conservatorships have worked remarkably well. Britney — who at her worst was on the verge of losing permanent custody of her kids — is now by any standard a great parent. Jamie and Britney’s doctors have stabilized her to the point she can successfully work and maintain a personal life. As for the financial conservatorship, it has been a huge success. Last year alone the conservatorship raked in $14 million, and that’s only a portion of Britney’s financial machine. As one source said, before the conservatorship her finances were an absolute mess, and the ship has been fully righted. We’re told Britney — who has a team of lawyers and doctors, along with Jamie, managing the conservatorship — has “substantial day-to-day freedom” to make her own decisions. Short story … if the conservatorship were to end, there would be significant risk she could backslide. The plan is to continue the conservatorship indefinitely … because it works.
I guess they can spend this however they want, but keep in mind that Jamie Spears pays himself $16K a month and monthly $2K “rent allowance” (in addition to the lawyers’ fees) out of his daughter’s money, so let’s not pretend that he’s doing this out of the kindness of his heart. For $18K a month, Britney could get her own psychiatrist and financial adviser, and still have like $8K left over for beef jerky and Mtn Dew Red.
If there’s anybody who should get down on their knees every single day and night and thank Jesus for committing suicide, it’s Britney Spears. She’s kinda dumb, can’t sing, can’t really dance, and really doesn’t have anything that brings any semblance of substance to the world except maybe her ass in 2001. But for some reason, she gets paid $310,000 PER SHOW during her current run at the Las Vegas Planet Hollywood. Yes, you read that right. Anyway, she was performing last night and did some kind of kick thing then immediately sprained her ankle. And fell down. And didn’t get up. I think her ankle reminded her that she’s 33 and has children at home.
For some reason Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears made what people will call a song together, and here’s some pictures from the set of the music video. The song is called “Pretty Girls”, and since they’re the only two chicks in the video, I assume they mean they’re supposed to be the pretty girls. I also assume everybody on set is getting paid and are contractually obligated to agree and not look directly at Britney below the neck.
Britney Spears has a show in Las Vegas, because that’s where performers past their prime live. Anyway, she was dancing around and her weave fell out. This could be news, but that’s not really unique in Vegas.
“Britney Spears” is on the cover of Women’s Health, and the first thing I guess you notice is that the airbrush didn’t quit finish fixing her mongoloid eyes and they have an arrow that’s supposed to be pointing to abs, but there are no abs where the arrow is pointing. Also, Britney does have a trainer. He’s gay, so he’s really not going to be happy about this. And I don’t want to win a trip to win Britney Spears. I mean, unless she trip is at the Taco Bell up the street. It probably is I feel.