Britney Spears Wants You To See Her New Swimsuit, You Guys
Britney Spears Wants You To See Her New Swimsuit, You Guys




Hey, guys! Exciting news! Britney Spears bought some swimsuits and talked about one on Instagram!

Bought three new swimsuits today. This one is my favorite!

Awww, bless her heart.


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Britney Spears Vegas Pics & Links

Bai Ling‘s DGAF tour continues  ( NSFW )   [  Taxi Driver Movie   ]

Matt Bellamy is an ass connoisseur  [   The Superficial   ]

Bella Thorne did an underboob photoshooot  [  Hollywood Tuna  ]

Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid in their underwear  [  DrunkenStepfather   ]

Kelly Rohrbach in her Baywatch swimsuit  [  Popoholic  ]

Kendall Jenner in a see through whatever this is   ( NSFW )   [  The Nip Slip   ]

Scott Disick wants you to know he’s totally fine  [  Reality Tea   ]

Lena Dunham is hospitalized  [  Dlisted   ]

Lea Michele is a street walker  [  Moe Jackson  ]

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The 2015 Teen Choice Awards Were Last Night

Teens voted for stuff and whatever they voted for won an award at the 2015 Teen Choice Awards last night. Furious 7 and The Big Bang Theory won awards, so that’s pretty much all you need to know abut the results of a process that allows teenagers to vote. Here’s the pics anyway. Charlotte McKinney was there. Bella Thorne was there. Of course, Wilmer Valderrama was there, because the scent of a freshly dropped first egg is too powerful for him to resist. Nina Dobrev was also there. I only mention her because I saw her once in a Starbucks on Ponce in Atlanta about four months ago. She was in workout clothes and looked like she weighed about 75 pounds. She drove off in a white Mercedes. That’s my Nina Dobrev story. Hope you enjoyed it. The majority of this gallery is Britney Spears, because just look at her face. She might as well be a recently adopted shelter dog or an 8-month old. She’s just happy to be here. She has no idea where she is. You could have told her she was at a screening of Straight Outta Compton on Mars and she would have just nodded and asked if martians have surfboards.

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Britney Spears Will Be Under The Conservatorship For The Rest Of Her Life

Much like 9/11 and Taco Bell announcing a breakfast menu, we all know where we were when Britney Spears had her psychotic break of 2007. TL;DR it was bad. Since then her father, Jamie Spears, and a team of lawyers have controlled every aspect of her personal and financial life, because well, 2007. Looks like they’ll be doing that until Britney’s mental issues from 8 years ago are no longer economically viable (when she dies).

Fact is … the conservatorships have worked remarkably well. Britney — who at her worst was on the verge of losing permanent custody of her kids — is now by any standard a great parent. Jamie and Britney’s doctors have stabilized her to the point she can successfully work and maintain a personal life. As for the financial conservatorship, it has been a huge success. Last year alone the conservatorship raked in $14 million, and that’s only a portion of Britney’s financial machine. As one source said, before the conservatorship her finances were an absolute mess, and the ship has been fully righted.  We’re told Britney — who has a team of lawyers and doctors, along with Jamie, managing the conservatorship — has “substantial day-to-day freedom” to make her own decisions. Short story … if the conservatorship were to end, there would be significant risk she could backslide. The plan is to continue the conservatorship indefinitely … because it works.

I guess they can spend this however they want, but keep in mind that Jamie Spears pays himself $16K a month and monthly $2K “rent allowance” (in addition to the lawyers’ fees) out of his daughter’s money, so let’s not pretend that he’s doing this out of the kindness of his heart. For $18K a month, Britney could get her own psychiatrist and financial adviser, and still have like $8K left over for beef jerky and Mtn Dew Red.

 

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Britney Spears Sprained Her Ankle

If there’s anybody who should get down on their knees every single day and night and thank Jesus for committing suicide, it’s Britney Spears. She’s kinda dumb, can’t sing, can’t really dance, and really doesn’t have anything that brings any semblance of substance to the world except maybe her ass in 2001. But for some reason, she gets paid $310,000 PER SHOW during her current run at the Las Vegas Planet Hollywood. Yes, you read that right. Anyway, she was performing last night and did some kind of kick thing then immediately sprained her ankle. And fell down. And didn’t get up. I think her ankle reminded her that she’s 33 and has children at home.

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Iggy Azalea And Britney Spears Made A Horrible Mistake

For some reason Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears made what people will call a song together, and here’s some pictures from the set of the music video. The song is called “Pretty Girls”, and since they’re the only two chicks in the video, I assume they mean they’re supposed to be the pretty girls. I also assume everybody on set is getting paid and are contractually obligated to agree and not look directly at Britney below the neck. 

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Britney Spears’ Weave Fell Off

Britney Spears has a show in Las Vegas, because that’s where performers past their prime live. Anyway, she was dancing around and her weave fell out. This could be news, but that’s not really unique in Vegas.

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Nope
Nope

Britney Spears” is on the cover of Women’s Health, and the first thing I guess you notice is that the airbrush didn’t quit finish fixing her mongoloid eyes and they have an arrow that’s supposed to be pointing to abs, but there are no abs where the arrow is pointing. Also, Britney does have a trainer. He’s gay, so he’s really not going to be happy about this. And I don’t want to win a trip to win Britney Spears. I mean, unless she trip is at the Taco Bell up the street. It probably is I feel.

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Britney Is Just Happy To Be Here At This Point

It truly is an amazing feat that Britney Spears‘  brain has necessitated enough willpower to keep her breathing all these years,  and since it has to work so hard to keep her upright, it doesn’t have enough useable energy left to keep her from having resting derp face. She got the key to the city of Las Vegas yesterday, so expect to see her on the news for trying to unlock a gas station to get a hot dog.

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Britney Is Trying To Sue The Chick Who Banged Her Boyfriend
Britney Is Trying To Sue The Chick Who Banged Her Boyfriend

 

“Nah, bitch.”

 

You already know that Britney Spears‘ boyfriend David Lucado cheated on her. And you probably might know that he cheated on her with some busted ass Asian porn star named Cali Lee who looks like a nail tech. Now we find out that Britney’s anger is misguided.

Britney’s legal team sent a nasty letter to Cali Lee … warning her that Brit’s former BF David Lucado signed a confidentiality agreement with Britney, and anything he told Cali during their affair must be kept secret. Here’s the thing … it’s BS. Cali is NOT bound by some confidentiality agreement David signed. Period. And Cali’s lawyer has told his client she can say what she wants. In the letter, obtained by TMZ, the lawyer writes, “Rest assured that our client has the resources and the resolve to pursue this matter no matter what the financial cost or outlay in time.”

Yeah, so David Lucado signed the confidentiality agreement. Love You Long Time didn’t, so unless she hires someone to write a tell-all book that contains information that only Lucado would know, then she can only go after him. Britney’s lawyers know that, but they’ll gladly take her money anyway, because Britney is gullible and kinda dumb. She’s basically Forrest Gump if Forrest Gump used to have a really, really nice ass.

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