If there’s anybody who should get down on their knees every single day and night and thank Jesus for committing suicide, it’s Britney Spears. She’s kinda dumb, can’t sing, can’t really dance, and really doesn’t have anything that brings any semblance of substance to the world except maybe her ass in 2001. But for some reason, she gets paid $310,000 PER SHOW during her current run at the Las Vegas Planet Hollywood. Yes, you read that right. Anyway, she was performing last night and did some kind of kick thing then immediately sprained her ankle. And fell down. And didn’t get up. I think her ankle reminded her that she’s 33 and has children at home.
For some reason Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears made what people will call a song together, and here’s some pictures from the set of the music video. The song is called “Pretty Girls”, and since they’re the only two chicks in the video, I assume they mean they’re supposed to be the pretty girls. I also assume everybody on set is getting paid and are contractually obligated to agree and not look directly at Britney below the neck.
Britney Spears has a show in Las Vegas, because that’s where performers past their prime live. Anyway, she was dancing around and her weave fell out. This could be news, but that’s not really unique in Vegas.
“Britney Spears” is on the cover of Women’s Health, and the first thing I guess you notice is that the airbrush didn’t quit finish fixing her mongoloid eyes and they have an arrow that’s supposed to be pointing to abs, but there are no abs where the arrow is pointing. Also, Britney does have a trainer. He’s gay, so he’s really not going to be happy about this. And I don’t want to win a trip to win Britney Spears. I mean, unless she trip is at the Taco Bell up the street. It probably is I feel.
It truly is an amazing feat that Britney Spears‘ brain has necessitated enough willpower to keep her breathing all these years, and since it has to work so hard to keep her upright, it doesn’t have enough useable energy left to keep her from having resting derp face. She got the key to the city of Las Vegas yesterday, so expect to see her on the news for trying to unlock a gas station to get a hot dog.
You already know that Britney Spears‘ boyfriend David Lucado cheated on her. And you probably might know that he cheated on her with some busted ass Asian porn star named Cali Lee who looks like a nail tech. Now we find out that Britney’s anger is misguided.
Britney’s legal team sent a nasty letter to Cali Lee … warning her that Brit’s former BF David Lucado signed a confidentiality agreement with Britney, and anything he told Cali during their affair must be kept secret. Here’s the thing … it’s BS. Cali is NOT bound by some confidentiality agreement David signed. Period. And Cali’s lawyer has told his client she can say what she wants. In the letter, obtained by TMZ, the lawyer writes, “Rest assured that our client has the resources and the resolve to pursue this matter no matter what the financial cost or outlay in time.”
Yeah, so David Lucado signed the confidentiality agreement. Love You Long Time didn’t, so unless she hires someone to write a tell-all book that contains information that only Lucado would know, then she can only go after him. Britney’s lawyers know that, but they’ll gladly take her money anyway, because Britney is gullible and kinda dumb. She’s basically Forrest Gump if Forrest Gump used to have a really, really nice ass.
Womanizer womanizer womanizer womanizer hand sanitizer baby.
Britney Spears just dumped her boyfriend of 18 months … after finding out there’s a video of him cheating on her that’s being shopped around Hollywood. We’re told David Lucado is seen in the video making out with a woman and dancing with her. It looks like they’re in someone’s living room. We’re told the video was shot in early August. When we called Lucado … a rep told us, “David is very, very in love with Britney. This is unfortunate and he hopes that it all works out.” Well, it didn’t. We called Britney’s camp for comment, and we were told her father Jamie wanted to say something about it, but wanted to tell Britney first. It appears as soon he told her … she broke up with David. She just tweeted, “Ahhhh the single life!”
I realize most of my time on this site has been spent making fun of Britney Spears, but damn. Poor thing. She can’t really sing, she really only has one good song (if you don’t like “Toxic” you’re lying to yourself and all those around you), she’s kinda mentally slow, she let Kevin Federline blow in her twice, she shaved her head and attacked a car with an umbrella because she more than likely has some undiagnosed psychosis, her life is completely controlled by her father like she’s a Duggar, but she’s still here with legions of fans and a bank account that would make Joel Olsteen rock hard. Now she has to suffer yet another public humiliation, because some dude named David doesn’t understand the concept of discretion. So, here’s to ya, Britney. I apologize for being mean to you all those years. Keep doing whatever it is you’re doing in this video. I really don’t know what you’re talking about in it, but that’s okay.
NOTE: Photoshop sold separately.
The underwear range is titled The Intimate Collection and includes the sexy black mesh-panelled bra and high-waisted pants Spears models in her Instagram photo. While it’s not yet clear if Britney will model the whole range, she does have previous experience of posing in her own designs, having starred in her Candie’s collection campaign in 2010. The Intimate Collection’s official website states that the line will initially be launching in the US and Canada on September 9th, then in Europe on September 26th.
Britney Spears is releasing a lingerie line. Think about that for a minute. Then realize it’s like Casey Anthony releasing her own fragrance.
Dude, if there was a Cheesecake Factory/Taco Bell, they’d lose a lot of money on this chick.
Britney Spears had a delicious meal at The Cheesecake Factory and best of all it was FREE … because she skipped out without paying the bill. Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ … Britney and BF David Lucado were at the Thousand Oaks, CA restaurant where they had an appetizer and a salad. At the end of the lunch the waitress came over with the $30 bill, and Britney said her security guy would pay it. She and David then walked out — with a doggie bag. Problem is … security never paid. Britney’s people tell TMZ … she feels “horrible” and it was an honest mistake. The guard thought Britney paid and she believed he paid the bill. But here’s the real headline — She’s worth north of $50 million and she took the salad home in a doggie bag. Waste not, want not.
TMZ effectively cheesecake shamed Britney into going back and paying the bill and leaving a $100 tip, so that’s good. I really want to believe this feel story, but the article says Britney ordered a salad, so I’m not really sure if I can trust this. I have trust issues that I’m working through right now.
This really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anybody, but Britney Spears can’t sing for shit. So if you want to stare at your screen like you did when you first saw 2 Girls 1 Cup, go ahead and play this video of Britney singing “Alien” after she was obviously just hit with a drone in the throat. Explain it away producer guy!
Dearest Music Lovers, I have heard that Britney vocal link that everybody’s been discussing. It has been impossible not to as there have been many comments directing my attention to it. [I won’t re-posting it here]. I’d like to affirm that ANY singer when first at the mic at the start of a long session can make a multitude of vocalisations in order to get warmed up. Warming up is essential if you’re a pro, as it is with a runner doing stretches, and it takes a while to do properly. I’ve heard all manner of sounds emitted during warmups. The point is that it is not supposed to be shared with millions of listeners. A generous singer will put something down the mic to help the engineer get their systems warmed up and at the right level, maybe whilst having a cup of herb tea and checking through lyrics before the session really kicks off. It’s not expected to be a ‘take’. I think that 99% of you reading this will totally understand.
Ok, first off, Britney Spears ain’t drinking herbal tea. She’s chasing laxatives with a Sunkist frappucino, so you’ve lost credibilty here off top. Second, a “generous singer” can, you know, sing. That’s why they call them singers. Third, let’s not use a running metaphor to describe Britney Spears. She won’t understand what you’re talking about. And you really should have started this whole thing with “Attention Wal-Mart shoppers”.