Brad Pitt’s Plane Meltdown Is On Video
Brad Pitt’s Plane Meltdown Is On Video


We now know Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie split, because Brad Pitt allegedly likes to get drunk and abuse his kids. And this one was caught on video.

According to insiders, Pitt can be seen on video “looking drunk” and “yelling.” The footage is reportedly from Wednesday, September 14, after the Jolie Pitt family’s jet stopped for fuel at Minnesota’s International Falls Airport.  “Brad is seen yelling a lot during it, but nothing physical,” one source tells Us of the footage. Another source tells Us that Jolie and Pitt allegedly got into a heated exchange while aboard their private plane. “He got drunk and was fighting with Angie,” the source says. “Maddox stepped in to defend Angie and got in Brad’s face.”

So basically Pitt got drunk on the plane, starting yelling at Jolie, then Maddox stepped in, and Pitt starting yelling at him and possibly put hands on the kid. I know some of you have told me this was “discipline”, but I don’t know what trailer park you grew up in, because “discipline” is when you learn something. Glad we cleared that up. Buy you gotta hear both sides. Pitt’s friend has a take.

A source close to Pitt notes that “teenagers have fights with their parents, especially when you have teens who are strong-willed and confident. You’re going to have back and forth.”  The insider also adds that “the abuse suggestions are inaccurate.”

I don’t know how “inaccurate” the suggestions are since the FBI is now involved:

“In response to your inquiry regarding allegations within the special aircraft jurisdiction of the United States; specifically, an aircraft carrying Mr. Brad Pitt and his children, the FBI is continuing to gather facts and will evaluate whether an investigation at the federal level will be pursued..”

To recap: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were together for 12 years, had 6 kids, and as soon as he couldn’t be an alcoholic on his own time and dragged the kids into it, she dipped. She should teach a class.


Major key:


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Marion Cotillard Is Pregnant, Denies Affair
Marion Cotillard Is Pregnant, Denies Affair


The first theory to explain why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie split was that Pitt was banging Marion Cotillard. We now know that’s not true. Like at all. But to make sure this whole theory is cleared right the fuck up, Marion Cotillard did the 2016 version of a press release – an Instagram rant. 

(more…)

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Brad Pitt Is Being Investigated For Child Abuse After Some Shit On His Plane
Brad Pitt Is Being Investigated For Child Abuse After Some Shit On His Plane


Two days ago the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie divorce news dropped. Angelina Jolie made a point in the divorce docs to say she didn’t want Pitt around the kids. Brad Pitt then released a statement that said, “what matters most now is the well-being of our kids“. Everything you just read now explains this story. 

Brad Pitt is under investigation for child abuse after after he allegedly got “verbally abusive” and “physical” with one of his children with Angelina Jolie on the couple’s private plane while their other kids were present, PEOPLE confirms.  The Los Angeles Police Department and L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services are both investigating after someone anonymously reported the incident last Wednesday on the tarmac, a source tells PEOPLE.  Pitt is accused of getting verbally abusive with one couple’s kids, as well as getting “physical,” a source says. Jolie was present at the time, along with at least some of their other children.  The report allegedly indicates he had been drinking at the time of the incident.

Then he kept going after the plane landed. 

We’re told the plane landed at an airport around 8 PM, and witnesses say Pitt continued his rant on the tarmac, and even tried leaving in one of the fuel trucks. Our sources say someone either on the plane or the tarmac anonymously reported the incident to the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services. We’re told Brad and Angelina have already been interviewed and DCFS plans to interview the kids as well. That investigation is ongoing.

So basically, Brad got drunk (like he apparently loves to do often) and abused his kinds, Angelina said, “oh hell nah, bitch” and filed for divorce, then Brad woke up in the bathroom and realized he fucked up and is now concerned about the well-being of his kids. I’ll never understand the mindset of a person who abuses a child, especially one of their own, but if this is true, Se7en will still be one of my favorite movies. I just want to make that clear to everyone. 


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Angelina Jolie Reportedly Caught Brad Pitt Banging Marion Cottilard
Angelina Jolie Reportedly Caught Brad Pitt Banging Marion Cottilard


Forget what I said about the refusing spousal support thing, Angelina Jolie thought Brad Pitt was cheating with Marion Cotillard so she hired a private investigator. 

Angelina Jolie is dumping Brad Pitt after hiring a private investigator to spy on him on the set of his latest film — where, she learned, he was cheating, a well-placed source told The Post on Tuesday. “She hired a private eye because she felt that he was fooling around with her on the set, and it turns out, he was. And that was the final straw,” the source said. Pitt had been rumored to have been cozying up to his “Allied” co-star, Marion Cotillard, in London for months.

Brad: “Hey, baby. How was your day?”

Angelina:



Goddamn. Lainey Gossip is floating the idea that Jolie filed for divorce because she had “political aspirations” that Pitt wasn’t down with, but political aspirations don’t make you keep your kids away from their father. Fucking your co-star does. This didn’t happen with Jennifer Aniston because her womb is a barren wasteland. 

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Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Split
Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Split


Women who were left for hotter women prior to 2004 and have been kept alive by their seething hatred for Angelina Jolie and their mission to buy multiple tickets to Jennifer Aniston movies can now answer death’s sweet call in peace. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are getting a divorcing 

Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt … TMZ has learned. Jolie filed legal docs Monday citing irreconcilable differences. She’s asking for physical custody of the couple’s 6 children.  She is asking the judge to give Pitt visitation.  It’s significant …she does not want Brad to have joint physical custody … only joint legal custody. Jolie, who’s being repped by disso queen Laura Wasser, is not asking for spousal support. Jolie lists the date of separation as Sept. 15, 2016.

IS NOTHING SACRED? No, not really. Anyway, she’s trying to keep the kids away from him, so something must have happened. And not asking for spousal support is such a Angelina Jolie baller move. Let’s all take a moment for silent reflection at this time. 


Here’s a young Angelina Jolie in a bikini because this story requires a happy ending. 


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Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Are Donating The $5M They Got From Their Wedding Photos To Charity
Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Are Donating The $5M They Got From Their Wedding Photos To Charity

 

Some charity just got $5M because Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt accepted the Stand Very Still And Smile Challenge. Sorry, ALS.

Insiders confirm to Radar hat People and Hello! magazine “each paid $2.5 million for a selection of wedding pictures from Brad and Angelina’s wedding,” with Pitt and Jolie Brad selecting “a photographer they had worked with from Getty” for the shots. These now-iconic images include our first look at the Angelina Jolie wedding dress and also a romantic photo of Brad and Angelina kissing as husband and wife. Instead of pocketing their millions, however, Pitt and Jolie will donate it to a “charitable foundation,” this same source confirms. They did the same thing in 2008 after being paid $14 million for pictures of twins Knox and Vivienne.

This makes $19M these two have given to charity simply by calling a photographer to come over. Goof for them. I ignored 19 Greenpeace emails last week. Like, how many do you have to send me, man? Whales have no concept of currency. Also, Kris Jenner just changed her name to “Charitable Foundation”.

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Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Got Married
Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt Got Married

 

Hey, remember back in 2005 when you guys used to talk about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and  say, “I give it six months”? Good times, good times.  Well, 9 years (twice as long as Pitt was with Aniston) and 6 kids later, the hottest couple of our generation got married in France this weekend. In related news, Aniston did a Friends reunion on Jimmy Kimmel last night.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were married Saturday in Chateau Miraval, France, says a spokesman for the couple. Jolie and Pitt wed Saturday in a small chapel in a private ceremony attended by family and friends. In advance of the nondenominational civil ceremony, Pitt and Jolie also obtained a marriage license from a local California judge. The judge also conducted the ceremony in France. The couple’s children took part in the wedding. Jolie walked the aisle with her eldest sons Maddox and Pax. Zahara and Vivienne threw petals. Shiloh and Knox served as ring bearers, the spokesman says.

I honestly have nothing bad to say about these two, and if you’re with someone for 9 years then decide to marry them, then you’ll probably die together holding hands when you’re both 90. So see ya in 40 years, Brangelina. I won’t be at this specific location obviously, but I’ll comment on a post telepathically or with whatever technology is in use at that time.

 

 

 

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Brad Pitt Ain’t Got Time For That
Brad Pitt Ain’t Got Time For That

 

Last week, Brad Pitt attended the Maleficent premiere with Angelina Jolie (because she's in the movie, not sure if you heard) when Ukranian ex-journalist and "prankster", Vitalii Sediuk, jumped the barricade and attacked him. Yesterday, Brad Pitt broke the first rule of Fight Club when he released this statement to People.

"I was at the end of the line signing autographs, when out the corner of my eye I saw someone stage-diving over the barrier at me. I took a step back; this guy had latched onto my lapels. I looked down and the nutter was trying to bury his face in my crotch, so I cracked him twice in the back of the head – not too hard – but enough to get his attention, because he did let go. I think he was then just grabbing for a hand hold because the guys were on him, and he reached up and caught my glasses."…"I don't mind an exhibitionist," Pitt continues, "but if this guy keeps it up he's going to spoil it for the fans who have waited up all night for an autograph or a selfie, because it will make people more wary to approach a crowd. And he should know, if he tries to look up a woman's dress again, he's going to get stomped."

Look, Brad Pitt smokes a shitload of weed and gets to have sex with Angelina Jolie pretty much everyday, so I can understand why his reaction time was a little slow last week. But when he finished his bowl and rolled off Angelina, he understands that sometimes you just gotta crack a dude in jaw to make them stop whatever dumb shit they're doing. And, maybe I'm not that cool, but trying to get under a woman's dress or jumping a barricade to atatck a man who is there to support his chick, is pretty fucking dumb. People do a lot of dumb shit. I punched a guy in the throat once for stepping on my new Jordan's. 9th grade was fun.

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Brad Pitt Got Punched In The Face At The ‘Maleficent’ Premiere

PRANKS!

Not the face! Brad Pitt was punched by a notorious celebrity prankster on the red carpet at the premiere of Angelina Jolie’s film Maleficent on Wednesday, May 28, a source tells Us Weekly. Pitt was at the El Capitan theatre in Hollywood for the premiere of the Disney film when a man, later identified as Vitalii Sediuk suddenly jumped the barrier and ran up to the 12 Years a Slave actor while he was walking down the carpet. Pitt, who was singing fan autographs, was surprised by the Ukrainian, who then made contact with Pitt’s face before security intervened and held the so-called prankster until police arrived on the scene. Los Angeles Police Department's Sergeant Leonard Calderon told Variety that Seduik was taken to the Hollywood police station where he was arrested and booked on suspicion of misdemeanour battery. He is being held on $20,000 bail.

Apparently the Ukaine has at least one douche, because Vitalii Sediuk is the same dude who tried to crawl under America Ferrara's skirt at Cannes. I really don't understand the whole prank thing, because they usually do stuff that would get you killed if it weren't for the societal laws that make that a bad idea or they end up being some like borderline gay shit (I'm looking at you, Rush Week). Oohh, you "pantsed" somebody?! Man, we need to hang out because I bet you're pretty popular and people love you at parties.

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We Are Not On Bradley Cooper’s Selfie Game Level
We Are Not On Bradley Cooper’s Selfie Game Level

 

In the most epic #selfiesunday ever taken, here's Bradley Cooper, Jared Leto, Jennifer Lawrence, Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Kevin Spacey, Brad Pitt, Angelia Jolie, Ellen Degeneres, and three other people I don't know. Two of them are black. Sorry about that. Regardless, good luck on your next group selfie during your bar crawl this month. If it breaks Twitter, it's probably because Twitter was down for maintenance. It wasn't because we could see half your boob. But keep going with the half boob showing thing though. No reason to stop on their account.

 

Bradley Cooper Instagram

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